A good talk about male survivor resources

Allan emailed me a video of Rick Goodwin’s talk about male victims of sexual abuse and building the Men’s Project. It is worth viewing. It gives an insight into the things abused men and their advocates face when trying to create services for them.

Stop the Abuse: The Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests

Often times people want to help others but do not know how. This cannot be any truer than when it comes to helping abused men and boys. The resources sometimes are not apparent and are often difficult to find. Sometimes the resources are hidden or even barred by other groups who wish to polarize the issue. The intent here is to provide those who wish to help male victims with the opportunity to do so. Every month I will post a new link to an organization that provides services for male victims. As the list grows, I will create a page where all the links can be found.

Please remember that you do no have to empty your wallets to help. Even a small donation can go a long way. And for those on the other side of the issue, it would go a long way to demonstrating real concern for all victims if you donated as well.

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SNAP

Welcome Statement:

If you’ve been victimized by clergy, please know that you are not alone. You can get better. You can reach out to others who’ve been hurt just like you have. Together, we can heal one another.

We are SNAP, the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests.
We are the nation’s largest, oldest and most active support group for women and men wounded by religious authority figures (priests, ministers, bishops, deacons, nuns, brothers, monks, and others). We are an independent and confidential organization, with no connections with the church or church officials. And we are here to help.

SNAP was founded by Chicago’s Barbara Blaine in 1989. Since then, SNAP has helped thousands of survivors. We offer support in person, (via monthly self-help group meetings in chapters across the country), over the phone, on line, and at twice-a-year national meetings.

We also provide a safe and productive outlet for the passion many survivors feel toward preventing future abuse.

Our web site exists to provide support and knowledge to all victims of clergy abuse, to help educate the public, and to help ensure that in future generations, children will be safe.

Welcome! Reach out! Get help!

Please donate and help make a difference.

Stop the Abuse: MaleSurvivor

Often times people want to help others but do not know how. This cannot be any truer than when it comes to helping abused men and boys. The resources sometimes are not apparent and are often difficult to find. Sometimes the resources are hidden or even barred by other groups who wish to polarize the issue. The intent here is to provide those who wish to help male victims with the opportunity to do so. Every month I will post a new link to an organization that provides services for male victims. As the list grows, I will create a page where all the links can be found.

Please remember that you do no have to empty your wallets to help. Even a small donation can go a long way. And for those on the other side of the issue, it would go a long way to demonstrating real concern for all victims if you donated as well.

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MaleSurvivor

Since the late 1970s research has documented that 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before her 18th birthday and that at least 1 in 6 boys suffers the same fate. Any person who has been sexually abused – male or female – experiences lasting effects and enduring emotional pain. Most of the organizations that serve survivors of sexual abuse have been created by women for women. Because so few people know that large numbers of males are sexually abused, male survivors have been unseen, neglected and therefore underserved. Continue reading

‘Denial over male rape fills victims with shame’

Originally posted on February 24, 2014

Dan Farr began a campaign in Bristol to address sexual violence against men and boys:

In a statement on his website, Mr Farr said he was concerned there was a “huge denial that male rape exists”, rooted in mistaken beliefs that men could fight off attackers, women could not rape men, and male rape only happened in prison.

His new campaign comes after three high-profile incidents of male rape in the Bristol area over the past year. In that time, Avon and Somerset police investigated a total of 34 cases of rape reported by men – up from 18 in the previous 12-month period. According to charity Mankind, one in 29 men has reported being sexually assaulted and one in 20 has been affected by sexual violence.

Mr Farr said: “These mistaken beliefs make it hard for male survivors to come forward because they are left with feelings of shame, confusion and self-blame for what happened. That’s why we need the council and police to publicly recognise male rape to make it easier for male rape survivors to get the help they need and to report the crime.”

This follows the UK government creating a £500,000 fund to help male survivors. Continue reading

Stop the Abuse: Survivors Manchester

Often times people want to help others but do not know how. This cannot be any truer than when it comes to helping abused men and boys. The resources sometimes are not apparent and are often difficult to find. Sometimes the resources are hidden or even barred by other groups who wish to polarize the issue. The intent here is to provide those who wish to help male victims with the opportunity to do so.

Please remember that you do no have to empty your wallets to help. Even a small donation can go a long way. And for those on the other side of the issue, it would go a long way to demonstrating real concern for all victims if you donated as well.

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Survivors Manchester

A very warm and safe welcome to Survivors Manchester.
Whatever you may be thinking and although you may feel it, we can guarantee 100% that you are not alone… just being here proves that. We also understand how much courage it may take to access our website, whether that’s for the first time or as a return visitor. With this in mind we want to try and make this space as safe, useful and supportive as possible.

We hope you realise this, we want to acknowledge it anyway, but you’ve made a big step towards healing and breaking free from the legacy of abuse.

You really are an inspiration and if your sat there reading this then that is evidence enough… it says a lot about how you’re thinking about, and are, breaking the silence.

The site has been designed to provide you with various kinds of information, help and support, from downloadable self help guides to ways of contacting us and connecting with other men.

So take your time to have a look around. Read what you can but do it in your own time, remember you’re in control now – there’s no rush.

Please donate and help make a difference.

Bulletin Board v225

Autistic Md. boy says he wants to resume relationship with girls accused of assault — He grew frightened when his schoolmate put the knife to his throat, while his 15-year-old girlfriend shot video with her cellphone. “I thought she was going to cut me. I was like, ‘Please stop,’ ” said the 16-year-old autistic boy, whose alleged abuse by two girls from his Southern Maryland high school made headlines around the world.

FBI reveals teacher abused up to 90 boys — Harrowing details of the abuse carried out on young boys by a former teacher at a London private school were revealed yesterday in a document released by United States authorities, as distraught parents waited to discover whether their children were involved. William Vahey, 64, a convicted paedophile, was able to drug and abuse up to 60 boys aged between 12 and 14 at London’s Southbank International School (SIS).

Jury recommends 15 years in prison for former priest in sex abuse case — A jury sentenced former priest James Schook to 15 years behind bars for sexually abusing two boys while he worked for the Louisville archdiocese in the 1970s. After years of delays and a three-day trial, Schook’s victims heard his fate Thursday. The former priest will face nine years for an indecency charge and six years for three sodomy charges for a total of 15 years.  Continue reading

The Code of Silence

Originally posed on May 21, 2013

Over the last week, sexual violence in the military received much media attention. This partly came out of two people in charge of handling sexual assault investigations facing their own charges of sexual assault. It also came from President Obama speaking about the issue during a press conference.

Yet one aspect of this scandal remains unspoken: men make up the majority of the victims. Look at the coverage of this topic, and one sees numerous discussions about protecting women, but little mention of protecting men. One hears from women who survived assaults, but not from men. Yes, occasionally someone will remember that “men can be victims too.” Yet that afterthought does not linger long, and soon the conversation goes back to women.

This is not to say that women do not face legitimate risks. It is absurd to think that servicewomen in the field will refrain from eating and drinking at night so they will not need to use the latrine and risk assault. Yet it is equally absurd to think that the majority of the victims of these assaults would go unmentioned because they are male.

Nevertheless:

More military men than women are sexually abused in the ranks each year, a Pentagon survey shows, highlighting the underreporting of male-on-male assaults.

When the Defense Department released the results of its anonymous sexual abuse survey this month and concluded that 26,000 service members were victims in fiscal 2012, which ended Sept. 30, an automatic assumption was that most were women. But roughly 14,000 of the victims were male and 12,000 female, according to a scientific survey sample produced by the Pentagon.

The statistics show that, as Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel begins a campaign to stamp out “unwanted sexual contact,” there are two sets of victims that must be addressed.

“It appears that the DOD has serious problems with male-on-male sexual assaults that men are not reporting and the Pentagon doesn’t want to talk about,” Elaine Donnelly, who heads the Center for Military Readiness.

Continue reading