You’re Not Helping v.24

Here is a perfect example of why the politically-minded should stay out of conversations about sexual violence against men and boys:

The Bryan Singer Allegations: Let’s Talk About White Male Privilege, Not Gay Culture

I wrote about the accusations against Singer earlier this week. An actor named Michael Egan accused Singer of drugging and raping him 15 years ago. Egan was 17 at the time. The actor’s allegation is that Singer took at advantage of his position in Hollywood to manipulate and abuse the young man. The allegations appear to have nothing to do with gay culture, let alone “white male privilege.”

Zachary Tallis, however, has a different opinion. He starts with this statement:

Let’s get two things clear. Number one, Bryan Singer has been accused of the repeated anal rape of a child. Number two, none of us can say whether or not he is guilty.

Yes, let us get two things clear. One, Singer has been accused of raping a 17-year-old boy. While I agree a 17-year-old is a minor and not necessarily fully mature, he is a not child. Two, Tallis is correct that none of us can say whether Singer is guilty or not, which makes his rant about “white male privilege” all the more curious. Continue reading

Not quite the burn

There has been an infographic floating around concerning the men’s right subreddit. The graph shows that most people on the subreddit are white, teenage male conservatives. Wil Wheaton, of Star Trek fame, made this comment about it:

Survey of /r/mensrights turns up pretty much exactly what you’d expect.

White, male, 17-20 years-old, and disconnected from reality.

Nice burn. Except when one actually reads the infographic it also says that these men are have no religion and support marijuana legalization, two very non-conservative things. A little digging revealed that the person who created the survey found that it did not go as planned. Rhumar writes:

My original plan with this survey was to submit the same survey to /r/Feminism, wait until the responses petered out, and then analyze and compare the data. This was not going to be used to prove anything, as there are many biases which could very well have an effect on responses, but rather it was an exercise simply conducted out of curiosity.

Unfortunately, it appears that the /r/MensRights survey was brigaded with bots, or maybe even some very dedicated trolls. Regardless, the results for the survey of this sub are clearly compromised. I apologize for the disappointment.

Here are the results of the /r/feminism survey. Frankly, I was going to make my own nice result graphics but the whole brigading thing has left me disappointed with a lack of motivation for this thing anymore. I fixed the “issues” graphic though. [link]

Factors which could potentially cause bias in the responses include, but are not limited to:

  • Survey was not a random sample (data may not be representative of the sub as a whole)

  • Possibility of individuals completing survey with the intent to skew the data

What people would possibly want to skew the results of an anonymous survey about r/mensrights in order to make men’s rights activists look bad? Continue reading

Feminism is for everyone except when it’s not

Originally posted on September 16, 2013

Every few weeks, a feminist writes an article bemoaning the lack of men calling themselves feminists. The feminist complains about men equating feminism with man-hating. She objects to men thinking that feminism is only about women and women’s concerns. Sure, the feminist says, feminism is concerned with addressing oppression against women. However, it is also about addressing men’s issues. Men, she reminds us, are also hurt by “patriarchy.” Feminism is not just about women’s grievances; it is for everyone.

Except when the men who believe that have the temerity to take feminists at their word. In the article The trouble with male allies, Meghan Murphy takes issue with male feminists: Continue reading

You’re Not Helping v.23

When you say, “I’m not a feminist but…” I hear, “I’m a terrible person.”

That was the opening salvo by feminist blogger Anisha Ahuja of Feminspire. She describes an incident at a fundraiser involving a male friend who refused to identify as a feminist. Ahuja writes:

I was at a fundraiser at my university this weekend talking to one of my good friends about feminism when he took a moment to make a clear distinction that he’s not a feminist but he believes in equal rights. Oh really? Tell me more, please. So he did, of course. He went on to tell me that there is a difference between feminism and equal rights. Okay. Good to know. Let’s take a second. I’m pulling up the dictionary (on my laptop because this is 2013). Merriam-Webster online (credible) defines “feminism” as “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.” Wait, is that different than equal rights?

Technically, no. However, feminists do not fight for equal rights. They fight for rights for women, and that does not necessarily promote equality. Creating a government council to address the needs of women and girls without creating one for men and boys does not promote equal rights. Creating programs to improve girls’ educational and economic opportunities without creating similar programs for boys does not promote equal rights. Creating support services for female victims of violence without creating similar services for males does not promote equal rights.

Yet these are all initiatives that feminists support. Continue reading

Being a Boy: The Monster Inside

Here is a suggestion: if you want to change a person’s behavior, it would be best not to trash them while doing it.

There seems to be a problem with feminists and their efforts to change male behavior. Feminists seem to view men and boys as walking predators hellbent on oppressing, demeaning, and hurting women and girls every waking moment of their lives. They also seem to believe that until the advent of second-wave feminism males experienced no other emotion but rage. Feminists marry the two ideas together to come up with the theory that only with feminism can men and boys ever express true emotions and lose their violent tendencies.

Yet this desire to get men and boys to feel has nothing to do with helping them. Rather, it is only about keeping them from hurting women. So volatile is male behavior that only by “softening” boys can they be changed. Or as Jeff Bogle puts it:

Raising strong girls is not enough because a strong girl, even the strongest of mind, body, will, and spirit, can too easily be fractured into a thousand unrecognizable pieces, a glass bottle of glitter shattered on a venetian tile floor, by a physically stronger, drunker, misogynistic boy. We can cobble together and restore some of the sparkle, but it’s doomed to be mixed with crumbs, dust, and dirt, no matter how studious we are. A dulling of the shine. A repeal of the magic.

That reads like something written by someone who has never spent much time around actual, living boys. Continue reading

A Dose of Stupid v97

It happens every day. In fact, it is pretty hard to avoid it. There are some things that can only be understood with a slap on the forehead. Things so mind-boggling that one wonders how humans managed to evolve thumbs while being this mentally inept. Case in point:

18 Reasons Not To Give Him A Blowjob

I honestly do not care about silly lists like the one featured on Cosmo’s website. Yet what caught my eye was pettiness of some the reasons not to perform oral sex. Granted, the list is meant as a joke, but can anyone imagine a man writing a similar list about reasons not to perform oral sex on women and it being taken as a joke and not an example of sexism?

But that is not what made me want to write about it. This was: Continue reading

The Gender Special Olympics

Some feminists recently declared war on Wikipedia. According to them, Wikipedia is a too male. From its male editors to its ascetically “very masculine” design, the site strikes these feminists as wholly uninviting to women.

This is a typical feminist mantra. Feminists find a space with a large male population and then declare that space sexist. The more popular the space, the more sexist it must be. The absence of an equal female presence could not possibly result from women and girls’ conscious choices. No, it must be a deliberate attempt by men and boys to exclude the opposite sex.

While there have been some instances of women being kept out of communities, the level of conspiracy required to make the above exclusion possible would be so vast that no one in those communities would have any time to do anything but keep women out.

Yet what feminists ignore is that there are plenty of women in those communities already, and they have a much different story to tell. Susan Sons wrote an article describing her experiences in the evil bastion of misogyny that is the programming community: Continue reading