The Code of Silence

Over the last week, sexual violence in the military received much media attention. This partly came out of two people in charge of handling sexual assault investigations facing their own charges of sexual assault. It also came from President Obama speaking about the issue during a press conference.

Yet one aspect of this scandal remains unspoken: men make up the majority of the victims. Look at the coverage of this topic, and one sees numerous discussions about protecting women, but little mention of protecting men. One hears from women who survived assaults, but not from men. Yes, occasionally someone will remember that “men can be victims too.” Yet that afterthought does not linger long, and soon the conversation goes back to women.

This is not to say that women do not face legitimate risks. It is absurd to think that servicewomen in the field will refrain from eating and drinking at night so they will not need to use the latrine and risk assault. Yet it is equally absurd to think that the majority of the victims of these assaults would go unmentioned because they are male.

Nevertheless:

More military men than women are sexually abused in the ranks each year, a Pentagon survey shows, highlighting the underreporting of male-on-male assaults.

When the Defense Department released the results of its anonymous sexual abuse survey this month and concluded that 26,000 service members were victims in fiscal 2012, which ended Sept. 30, an automatic assumption was that most were women. But roughly 14,000 of the victims were male and 12,000 female, according to a scientific survey sample produced by the Pentagon.

The statistics show that, as Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel begins a campaign to stamp out “unwanted sexual contact,” there are two sets of victims that must be addressed.

“It appears that the DOD has serious problems with male-on-male sexual assaults that men are not reporting and the Pentagon doesn’t want to talk about,” Elaine Donnelly, who heads the Center for Military Readiness.

Bulletin Board v190

Boy reveals parental abuse via Facebook — “Hi, my name is S. and I am 14. Since I was 8, my parents beat me regularly. Whenever there was a family argument that I was not connected to and I made eye-contact with my father, he would get angry and punch me hard, sometimes with a belt.” This post, published Friday night by a 14-year-old-boy from Haifa on the police’s Facebook page, raised suspicions of harsh abuse and led to a police investigation and the subsequent arrest of the child’s parents.

Experts see increase in male sexual assault awareness — A California man who, as a child, was sexually molested by his mother, said the trauma he endured has stayed with him well into his adult life and affected his ability to comprehend his emotions and be intimate with women. The 50-year-old, who asked to remain anonymous, said he only came to the realization that his mother’s behavior was inappropriate with him as a boy, within the last few years. “I still battle with a voice that says I’m a baby,” he said, adding that coping is a continuous struggle.

Female rapists abuse soldier for 4 days — A 25-YEAR-OLD soldier was allegedly kidnapped and detained for four days by suspected female rapists, who are said to have sexually abused him several times before releasing him early this week. Police in Mutare have confirmed the incident, saying they were hunting for the suspected culprits. Manicaland assistant police spokesperson Assistant Inspector Muzondiwa Clean told NewsDay yesterday that on April 19 around midnight at Birchenough Bridge business centre, the unsuspecting soldier boarded the women’s vehicle on his way to Mutare.

The Earl Silverman Center

In light of Earl Silverman’s suicide, I thought it was important to make sure some good comes out of it. Kristina Hansen has started the Earl Silverman Center. The goal is to provide support for male victims of domestic violence. The Center is accepting donations:

Men make up almost 50% of all domestic violence victims yet there is not one domestic violence shelter for men in Canada.

Earl Silverman was the first to open a mens shelter for men who had been domestically abused in Calgary, Alberta. The Men’s Alternative Safe house, otherwise known as MASH4077, had never been granted any government funding, even after numerous attempts by Earl to file for funding, because the government refused to recognize that there was a need for such a shelter.

Earl decided to fund MASH4077 by himself with his own finances, as well as meager private donations. He worked on the MASH4077 project from 2003 and ran the shelter for 3 years out of his own home with private rooms and beds which accommodated the men who sought refuge from domestic violence.

—–

Our first goal is to raise $5000.00 which we will use in order to file for non-profit status, set up a temporary head office, printing materials and other promotional items, and for locating an appropriate property for the center.

We need your help to make Earls dream a reality and to honor his memory. Men need your help so that they can finally get the help they so desperately need.

Please donate if you have the extra money. Also, please spread the word about the Earl Silverman Center.

Bulletin Board v188

Centre offers help for abused men — Men who are sexual assault survivors have a tough enough time reaching out for help, and turning to something called the Regina Women’s Community Centre and Sexual Assault Line did nothing to ease their discomfort. That’s when staff realized a new identity was in order. The transformation of the nearly 40-year-old organization was unveiled Wednesday when it became the Regina Sexual Assault Centre, with a logo that incorporates symbols for both men and women.

Full house for ‘Men of Hope’ — A charity poker challenge brought out celebrities and a packed house for the Men of Hope’s fundraiser on Saturday evening at Aldergrove Legion. A final tally on funds raised was not available at press time but it should be considerable. Event co-organizers Andy Bhatti and Lee Ferrill were stoked with enthusiasm and gratitude for the countless contributions that night.

Kalamazoo Township man to get 25 years for sexual abuse, keeping autistic boy in dog cage — A Kalamazoo Township man who subjected a boy with autism to sexual abuse and torture that included locking him in a dog cage and pulling out eyebrow hairs will spend at least 25 years in prison. A jury found David John Bassett, 52, guilty of one count each of first-degree criminal sexual conduct and torture, and two counts of second-degree criminal sexual conduct following a two-day trial last week in front of Kalamazoo County Circuit Judge Alexander C. Lipsey.

Male rape victims meet in Uganda — Video report by AlJazeera English concerning male victims of war-time rape.

Men’s shelter forced to close due to lack of funding

It is always sad to see needed services shut down. However, it is particularly sad when those services are one of the few available to a community of people. From the article:

A privately funded shelter for male victims of domestic abuse — believed to be the only refuge of its kind in the country — has closed.

Men’s rights advocate Earl Silverman said he can’t afford to keep the Men’s Alternative Safe House (MASH) running.

Since it opened out of his house about three years ago, close to 20 men have passed through, he said. Among them was a “father with two children, a one-year-old girl and a nine-year-old boy and he was fleeing a violent, alcoholic wife.”

Absent of federal or provincial funding, Mr. Silverman said he just can’t keep up with the grocery, heat and other bills associated with running the shelter. He said he sold his home last week.

The article does not state whether Silverman applied for federal or provincial funding. It does, however, provide some insight into what might happen if Silverman made such a request:

Feminists, support services, and male survivors

When I write about feminist bias against male survivors, many feminists object. They claim that no feminists they know are like that. Some of the bolder ones will claim no feminists harbor such biases at all.

However, when one talks to male survivors and their advocates, one hears a different story. It is common to hear about rape centers hanging up on male survivors, referring them to abuser treatment programs, or accusing them of being rapists. One will hear of rape centers lacking any services for male survivors, from pamphlets to counseling. One may hear of extreme cases of open misandry.

The back and forth between advocates and feminist can go on forever because no one has really looked into how the services actually treat abused males. Until now. Glen Poole wrote about a study that covers this issue:

Male survivor agency struggles for government funding

Despite more men and boys coming forward and revealing the abuse they suffered, the British government still offers little support for them:

[Brighton-based Mankind] is one of only a handful of organisations helping male victims of sexual violence in Britain but it has been snubbed by the Government for support.

Minister Helen Grant announced £4 million in funding to open four new rape crisis centres and secure 65 existing centres.

But Martyn Sullivan, the chief executive of Mankind Counselling in Brighton, said: “We welcome any funding that supports victims of rape and sexual abuse but it saddens us that yet again little thought has been given to adult male survivors of sexual crimes.

“The Government’s own figures estimates that 1 in 9 males have suffered childhood sexual abuse and 1 in 29 have experienced rape in adulthood. With this decision, they have chosen to ignore the 3.8 million actual men and boys that these figures represent.

“Male specific agencies were excluded from the Rape Support Fund last year and it looks like the same thing has happened again.

“There has been a rise in cases being reported in light of the Jimmy Savile scandal and we are expecting even more cases.”

This continues to be a contentious issue and, as readers may know, whenever someone mentions this kind of overt sexism against male survivors, there are plenty of people who will deny it ever occurs. To my knowledge, the UK government has done little outreach to male survivors beyond the “Real Men Get Raped” ad campaign last year. (Coincidentally, the ad campaign was created by SurvivorsUK, an split-off organization that supposedly assists male survivors. However, if one looks at their site, one finds that they only provide limited support for a few hours a day three days a week.)

This kind of misandry creates a ripple effect. Not only do organizations that actually help male survivors struggle for funding, but also male survivors do not come forward because they have no one to turn to. The result is the impression that there are no male survivors, which is likely the logic the British government uses to justify not providing funding to male survivor services.