A Band of Brothers

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There are many men and boys who experience abuse in their lives. They often do not have a place to talk about those experiences. This post is a space for that.

Any man or boy who wants to share his experiences of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, bullying, and harassment may do so here. You may submit your story as a comment. You can use your own name, a pseudonym, or remain anonymous.
You may share whatever you feel comfortable with, be it your whole story or just a moment.

The purpose of this post is show people what men and boys go through. It is to shed light on the truth of those experiences and shatter the stereotypes of about them.

I will moderate all comments and remove any that are not from men or not on topic. This just to make sure the comments are only from men and only about their stories.

(A note to those posting: if you use profanity, the comment will automatically go into moderation. This applies to all comments on this blog, so it is nothing personal. Once I see the comment, I will approve it.)

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Charlie Sheen accused of raping 13-year-old Corey Haim

There continues to be more fallout over the Kevin Spacey allegations. Now other actors are being accused of sexually assaulting young actors. The latest to face an accusation is actor Charlie Sheen.

In an Enquirer interview, former actor Dominick Brascia stated that Sheen, then 19-years-old, raped Haim while the pair were filming the movie Lucas:

“Haim told me he had sex with Sheen when they filmed ‘Lucas,’” Dominick Brascia, a former actor and a close friend of the “Lost Boys” legend, exclusively told The ENQUIRER. “He told me they smoked pot and had sex. He said they had anal sex. Haim said after it happened Sheen became very cold and rejected him. When Corey wanted to fool around again, Charlie was not interested.”

But Brascia said Haim claimed he hooked up with the “Wall Street” star another time — when he was in his mid-to-late 20s. “Haim told me he had sex with Sheen again,” Brascia told The ENQUIRER. “He claimed he didn’t like it and was finally over Sheen. He said Charlie was a loser.”

The Enquirer claims that dozens of other people they contacted verified the accusation. The claim is similar to one made by Cory Feldman, Haim’s close friend, in his memoir: Continue reading

Kevin Spacey allegations bring out strange defenders

As more allegations against Kevin Spacey mount, it was only a matter of time before someone decided to defend him.

In my prior post about the Anthony Rapp’s allegation, I noted that we would need to see what would happen to Spacey given how forgiving Hollywood can be. Within 24 hours of that post, several young men came forward accusing Spacey of attempting or succeeding in sexually assaulting them. Their ages vary, however, based on what I read, all the young men were either teenagers, in their early twenties, or appeared younger than their age.

This demonstrates a consistent pattern, i.e. Spacey allegedly preferring younger males who either are or can pass as teen boys.

The word to describe a person with such as sexual interest is typically pederast. However, the average person uses pedophile. While this is technically incorrect, as it implies an interest in boys who have not reached puberty, the distinction ultimately does not matter. The key point is that Spacey appears, based on the allegations, to target underage boys, many of whom cannot legally consent to sex in their respective states.

Given the severity of the accusations against Spacey — enough to make Netflix end his popular show House of Cards — one would think the focus would be on Spacey’s victims.

Instead, the left-leaning media fell in part for Spacey’s deflection. Continue reading

Kevin Spacey Comes Out To Brush Aside Molestation Accusation

Actor Anthony Rapp accused Kevin Spacey of making sexual advances on him when Rapp was 14-years-old. He detailed the incident in an interview with Buzzfeed.

Spacey invited Rapp to a nightclub. Somehow 14-year-old Rapp and his 17-year-old friend were able to get in with Spacey without showing any identification. Following that event, Rapp joined Spacey at his home for a party a few days later. When Rapp arrived, he found that he was the only child there, which he stated was usual given the types of acting jobs he took. He also did not know anyone there.

According to Rapp, he eventually went into Spacey’s bedroom and watched TV: Continue reading

Why Do People Hate Feminism?

Sargon of Akkad has an excellent video series on the reasons why people take issue with feminism. He presents a thorough explanation of the problems within feminism as an ideology and with its adherents. Some feminists may object to Sargon’s tone, however, he comes across as fair. He does not paint all feminists as the Borg. He acknowledges that different feminists think different things. Yet he also notes that the voices we hear tend to come from the authoritarian, anti-male element of the movement.

This is an ongoing series, so as Sargon uploads videos I will add them to this page. Continue reading

The “rise” of male friendships “bad” for women

It has been a while since people took a positive thing for men and turned it into a problem for women, so I suppose we were due for one.

According to a recent study, men’s friendship with other men — commonly called a “bromance” — could ruin women’s romantic relationships.

The researchers interviewed 30 straight college men, all of them part of the college’s sports department. The researchers found that the men valued their platonic relationships with their male friends over their romantic relationships with their girlfriends.

None of this is new. Men have had intense platonic relationships with each other since humans existed. We have plenty examples of this throughout history and mythology. Many of these real and fantasy relationships were closer than any relationship the men had with women in their lives.

The researchers drew the rather bizarre conclusion that changing attitudes in homosexuality have led to a rise in the so-called “bromance.” However, this is inaccurate. Talk to men in the military, police officers, and athletes, and one will find that these intense male relationships are quite common. The reality is that our culture’s focus on homosexuality, specifically in treating any male intimacy as sex-driven or romantic — like calling such platonic relationships “bromances” — led men to keep their close relationships with other men secret.

Another factor is women’s reaction to men’s platonic relationships. It is not uncommon to hear of girlfriends and wives driving away their men’s friends, particularly their closest male friends. The unspoken element is that the platonic relationship poses a risk to the romantic one. Most specifically, the emotional intimacy provided in the platonic relationship would subvert men’s need to depend on women for it, thereby stripping away one element women could use to control, for lack of a better word, the relationship. Continue reading

When #MeToo becomes #NotYou

As is true with most feminist-driven hashtags, it was only a matter of time before the #Metoo hashtag became an attack on men. The hashtag gained prominence after actress Alyssa Milano tweeted using it. The hashtag went viral, although given how political Twitter has become, it is possible that those running Twitter simply boosted the hashtag to the top of the list.

Regardless of that, the hashtag prompted numerous women to write about their experiences of harassment and sexual violence. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. What makes it peculiar is that this comes in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein fall-out. One would think the focus would center on the people Weinstein and other powerful Hollywood moguls abused. Instead, the focus shifted to talking about random instances of butt-grabbing and cat-calling.

As the hashtag became more popular, the feminists moved in and quickly shifted the focus to men. According to those feminists, men need to listen and believe and change their ways because of the “proof” the #MeToo provided of how much sexual violence women face.

Men were told to they needed to challenge their own sexist, abusive behavior, regardless of whether they have ever acted in such a way. They were encouraged to tweet #IDidThat and #HimThough in solidarity to women — and only women — who faced sexual violence.

Men were reminded that “It Was You” and told, after so many articles encouraging men to use solidarity hashtags, that hashtags were not good enough. Continue reading

I love the way you lie, Michael Kimmel

Cassie Jaye, the director of the Red Pill, released several videos of her unedited interviews from the film. I found her interview with male feminist Michael Kimmel particularly interesting. Kimmel is well-known for his anti-male stance, most notably his complete dismissal of physical and sexual violence against men and boys.

His essential argument is, “women’s violence toward male partners certainly does exist, but it tends to be very different from that of men toward their female partners: It is far less injurious and less likely to be motivated by attempts to dominate or terrorize their partners.”

His concern for women’s violence against men is not that the men and boys can be and are victims. Indeed, he dismisses such violence as merely women defending themselves against male abusers. His concern is purely on how “acknowledging” — if one can call it that — women’s violence against men could help prevent violence against women.

This is precisely the attitude Kimmel displays in his interview with Jaye. He simply lies about the men’s rights movement, lies about their concerns, and lies about their methods. He also ignores men’s experiences, giving the false impression that men essentially have no legitimate fears or concerns.

Yet like many feminists, Kimmel is incapable of maintaining the lie for very long because he wants to convince men that they should side with feminists. As such, he inadvertently undermines his own argument, particularly the feminist argument about male power. Continue reading