A Band of Brothers

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There are many men and boys who experience abuse in their lives. They often do not have a place to talk about those experiences. This post is a space for that.

Any man or boy who wants to share his experiences of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, bullying, and harassment may do so here. You may submit your story as a comment. You can use your own name, a pseudonym, or remain anonymous.
You may share whatever you feel comfortable with, be it your whole story or just a moment.

The purpose of this post is show people what men and boys go through. It is to shed light on the truth of those experiences and shatter the stereotypes of about them.

I will moderate all comments and remove any that are not from men or not on topic. This just to make sure the comments are only from men and only about their stories.

(A note to those posting: if you use profanity, the comment will automatically go into moderation. This applies to all comments on this blog, so it is nothing personal. Once I see the comment, I will approve it.)

Bulletin Board v304

Advocates, survivors say stigmas keep male victims from reporting sexual assaults — Social stigmas and a lack of understanding fuels the underreporting of sexual assaults among male victims, police and victim advocates said at a campus forum Thursday. Zac Palmer told about a dozen people at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln he didn’t realize what his longtime partner did to him was sexual assault. He only later came to terms with it, and then last summer, he was sexually assaulted by someone else while at a party with friends, he said.

Chicago Archdiocese pays $3.15 million to settle abuse suits — The Archdiocese of Chicago will pay $3.15 million to settle lawsuits brought by three men who allege they were sexually abused by a notorious former pastor of a West Side Catholic church more than a decade ago, the plaintiffs’ attorney said Wednesday. The accusers, all identified in court papers as John Doe, said former priest and convicted sex offender Daniel McCormack sexually abused them more than once during their participation in an after-school program called S.A.F.E. at Our Lady of the Westside Catholic School.

Court hears boy got himself expelled from seminary so that sex abuse by priest would stop — A catholic priest repeatedly sexually abused a young boy in his care “breaching that trust in a spectacular and horrific way,” a court heard. The boy was just 13 and 14 years old when Father Michael Higginbottom allegedly began seriously abusing him at a seminary in West Lancashire, according to prosecutors. Continue reading

Stop the Abuse: Survivors Manchester

Often times people want to help others but do not know how. This cannot be any truer than when it comes to helping abused men and boys. The resources sometimes are not apparent and are often difficult to find. Sometimes the resources are hidden or even barred by other groups who wish to polarize the issue. The intent here is to provide those who wish to help male victims with the opportunity to do so.

Please remember that you do no have to empty your wallets to help. Even a small donation can go a long way. And for those on the other side of the issue, it would go a long way to demonstrating real concern for all victims if you donated as well.

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Survivors Manchester

A very warm and safe welcome to Survivors Manchester.
Whatever you may be thinking and although you may feel it, we can guarantee 100% that you are not alone… just being here proves that. We also understand how much courage it may take to access our website, whether that’s for the first time or as a return visitor. With this in mind we want to try and make this space as safe, useful and supportive as possible.

We hope you realise this, we want to acknowledge it anyway, but you’ve made a big step towards healing and breaking free from the legacy of abuse.

You really are an inspiration and if your sat there reading this then that is evidence enough… it says a lot about how you’re thinking about, and are, breaking the silence.

The site has been designed to provide you with various kinds of information, help and support, from downloadable self help guides to ways of contacting us and connecting with other men.

So take your time to have a look around. Read what you can but do it in your own time, remember you’re in control now – there’s no rush.

Please donate and help make a difference.

Hey Marvel, it’s not you, it’s your progressive agenda

Several months ago Bleeding Cool reported that Marvel Comics will shift its books away from politics and back to storytelling, action, and adventure. As I noted in my previous post about the change, Marvel’s sales took a hit in recent years. Their numbers are not low enough to result in bankruptcy, however, they are low enough to cause concern. The reason is that most of the books with low numbers are their newer titles. Many of these books feature so-called “diverse” characters. Despite Marvel’s active promotion of the books, the titles simply do not sell.

One person at Marvel has an explanation for this. ICv2 interview Marvel VP of Sales David Gabriel. Gabriel responded to several questions about the impact of the “diversity” initiative at Marvel:

Part of it, but I think also it seemed like tastes changed, because stuff you had been doing in the past wasn’t working the same way. Did you perceive that or are we misreading that?

No, I think so. I don’t know if those customers with the tastes that had been around for three years really supporting nearly anything that we would try, anything that we would attempt, any of the new characters we brought up, either they weren’t shopping in that time period, or maybe like you said their tastes have changed.

There was definitely a sort of nose-turning at the things that we had been doing successfully for the past three years, no longer viable. We saw that, and that’s what we had to react to. Yes, it’s all of that.

It is not a matter of people’s tastes changing. If it were, one would expect a greater audience, not the ever shrinking audience that the industry has seen in the past two decades. The problem here was that Marvel attempted to appeal to people who do not buy their product and are more interested in identity politics. The books that Gabriel claims were a success all saw dwindling numbers within a year of their release. Gabriel names several characters — Squirrel Girl, Ms. Marvel, The Mighty Thor, Spider-Gwen, Miles Morales, and Moon Girl — so let us look at the debut and current sales of their books: Continue reading

The Unjoy of Sex

What could be more giving to a sexual partner than making them orgasm? How about delighting in helping them reach that point of ecstasy? Is this not the hallmark of a good lover?

According to Cosmopolitan, not in the slightest. In an article that one would hope was a troll but clearly is not, the author argues that it is sexist for men to enjoy their female partner’s orgasm:

It’s not enough that men are already having more orgasms than women. To make matters worse, a new study published in the Journal of Sex Research found — aside from deriving pleasure from their own orgasms, obviously — men also derive a specific sort of masculine pleasure from making female partners orgasm. The researchers in the study, Sara Chadwick and Sari van Anders, refer to this incredibly predictable phenomenon as a “masculinity achievement.”

Did we need a study for this? It is fairly common knowledge that women tend to take longer to orgasm than men. It is also fairly common knowledge that women often fail to tell their partners what sexually arouses them. The men are left to figure it out themselves, hence the feeling of achievement.

Two years worth of comedy specials would have explained this phenomenon, yet the researchers chose to ask 810 men: Continue reading

High school student trolls feminists into exposing their bigotry

We hear it all the time: feminism is about equality. Feminists do not hate anyone. They want to bring everyone together.

Anyone who spends enough time around feminists knows that this proves to be untrue rather quickly. While all feminists are not unhinged bigots, a significant portion of feminists are intolerant of contrary views. The moment someone expresses a disagreement, these feminists will attack. It typically does not take much to get that response. One high school student proved this point:

Kerby Martin, a high school junior from Cypress, Texas, had been working on a school essay about several myths pushed by feminists about gender inequality, specifically focusing on how third-wave feminism only divides people. So, she tweeted out a picture of herself in an anti-feminist shirt that read “#Meninist” to prove that third-wave feminists were only tolerant towards liberals. Within hours, she was proven right.

She tweeted out the picture of the shirt on Wednesday.

Within minutes she received more than 200 negative responses. Martin told Red Alert Politics that liberals started threatening to egg her car, wishing she’d learn her lesson by getting raped, or telling her to die.

Who did not see that coming? Continue reading

Indian police charge 12 year old with rape for getting an 18 year old girl pregnant

India proves yet again that it is a terrible place for male rape victims. In case that I cannot begin to explain, Indian police charged a 12 year old boy with rape after an 18 year girl gave birth at a hospital:

Kalamassery police have registered a case against a 12-year-old boy and a private hospital here after an 18-year-old girl gave birth to a baby.

While the boy was booked under Section 75 of the Juvenile Justice Act for allegedly impregnating the girl two months before she turned 18, the hospital was charged for breaching the POCSO Act by not informing the police.

According to the Juvenile Justice Act, the boy faces a potential three in prison for:

[…] having the actual charge of, or control over, a child, assaults, abandons, abuses, exposes or wilfully neglects the child or causes or procures the child to be assaulted, abandoned, abused, exposed or neglected in a manner likely to cause such child unnecessary mental or physical suffering […]

If it seems like you are missing something, you are not alone. I looked up as many articles about this case as I could find, and not one of them explained how anyone determined that the 12 year old fathered the child, let alone why he and not the girl was held responsible. This was the best explanation: Continue reading

Friendship, entitlement, and feminism

What happens when you want to be friends with someone who wants a romantic relationship?

If you are a mature adult, you explain to the person that you only want to be friends and you make an effort to keep the friendship simple so as to not send misleading signals that you may change your mind.

Or you can complain about how friend-zoning is not and rant about how horrible men are for disliking rejection.

Vice published an article in which the feminist author skewered men over the notion of the friend-zone. She claims that it “isn’t a thing”. She attempts to dismantle the idea and take men to task. Instead, she reveals her own sense of entitlement and how ideology blinds one to seeing and understanding other people’s experiences. Continue reading