A Band of Brothers

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There are many men and boys who experience abuse in their lives. They often do not have a place to talk about those experiences. This post is a space for that.

Any man or boy who wants to share his experiences of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, bullying, and harassment may do so here. You may submit your story as a comment. You can use your own name, a pseudonym, or remain anonymous.
You may share whatever you feel comfortable with, be it your whole story or just a moment.

The purpose of this post is show people what men and boys go through. It is to shed light on the truth of those experiences and shatter the stereotypes of about them.

I will moderate all comments and remove any that are not from men or not on topic. This just to make sure the comments are only from men and only about their stories.

(A note to those posting: if you use profanity, the comment will automatically go into moderation. This applies to all comments on this blog, so it is nothing personal. Once I see the comment, I will approve it.)

The Spectacle of Our Politicians

I intended to avoid commenting on the recent presidential election. I did mention in a previous post that I would write about it. However, I found the process of researching the election and reading all the inane things both the right and left-wing did too irritating and depressing. I kept needing to remind myself that these are all adults, not grade school kids fighting during recess.

Yet a new incident prompted me to write this topic. Continue reading

Stop the Abuse: Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project

Often times people want to help others but do not know how. This cannot be any truer than when it comes to helping abused men and boys. The resources sometimes are not apparent and are often difficult to find. Sometimes the resources are hidden or even barred by other groups who wish to polarize the issue. The intent here is to provide those who wish to help male victims with the opportunity to do so.

Please remember that you do no have to empty your wallets to help. Even a small donation can go a long way. And for those on the other side of the issue, it would go a long way to demonstrating real concern for all victims if you donated as well.

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Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project

1 in 4 Gay Men Experience Domestic Violence

Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project is a grassroots, non-profit organization founded by a gay male survivor of domestic violence and developed through the strength, contributions and participation of the community.

Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project supports victims and survivors through education, advocacy and direct services.

Please donate and help make a difference.

Hiding in Plain Sight: The Female Sexual Predator

What does it say about our society when we are only acknowledging the reality of female sexual perpetrators at the end of 2016?

As much as I detest the “it’s the current year” argument, I feel it is applicable in this instance. Despite all the progress made in victim advocacy in the last thirty years, we still hesitate to admit that women commit sexual violence. The hesitation comes in part from cultural norms about women’s capacity for violence, in part from assumptions about male victimization, and in part from a political movement that frames sexual violence as a “gendered” crime.

I have written numerous times about female sex offenders. While the topic receives less media and scholarly attention, there are plenty of studies showing the prevalence of female sexual perpetration. I previously noted that if one looks at these studies in chronological order, the reported rate of female perpetration, particularly against male victims, increases over time. The more we study the topic, the more obvious it becomes that not only do women commit sexual violence, but that they represent the majority of people who sexually assault men and boys.

As shown above, none of this information is new. I pieced it together without access to scholarly publications. Other advocates, men’s rights activists, and even feminists have done the same. The information is scattered and somewhat limited, yet it is not hard to find.

It is simply not discussed. Continue reading

Joe Rogan interviews Jordan Peterson

Jordan Peterson is a clinical psychologist and tenured professor of psychology at the University of Toronto. He is currently embroiled in a battle with his university and the progressives over the use of “preferred prounouns”.

That term refers to some transgender people wanting to use something other than “he” or “she”. Some of them are content with using “they”, which is grammatically incorrect but at least a real word. Others prefer an ever increasing list of new words, each more absurd than the previous. Not only do they wish to use these new pronouns, they also expect everyone else to use them. Anyone refusing to do so is violating the person’s identity.

Of course, since this is happening in Canada it comes with an additional penalty: refusing to use a person’s preferred pronoun is a crime punishable by fine. Should one refuse to pay the fine, one risks jail time.

That is right. It is possible to go to jail for calling someone “he” when they prefer “zir”. Continue reading

One Ottawa Boy’s Hell: father and step-mother found guilty

I previously wrote about a horrific case of child abuse in Canada. The judge in the case found a RCMP officer and his wife guilty of multiple counts of child abuse in one of Canada’s worst child abuse cases:

A Mountie and his wife have been found guilty of what Ottawa police sources have called the “worst case of abuse” the force has seen, involving the Mountie’s then 11-year-old son.

The RCMP officer — who is suspended from the force without pay — was arrested in February 2013 along with his wife.

They had both pleaded not guilty to charges including aggravated assault, failing to provide the necessaries of life and forcible confinement. She faced an additional charge of assault with a weapon, and he faced additional charges of sexual assault causing bodily harm and assault with a weapon.

On Monday, the 45-year-old Mountie was found guilty of aggravated assault, sexual assault causing bodily harm, forcible confinement and failing to provide the necessaries of life.

The boy’s 38-year-old stepmother was found guilty of assault with a weapon and failing to provide the necessaries of life.

The pair cannot be named due to a publication ban that protects the boy’s identity. He is now 14 years old.

The verdict comes as no surprise given the evidence against the pair, particularly that both the father and step-mother admitted to the abuse and the father having recorded the abuse on his cell phone. The father’s defense for his violence against his son was to claim the boy was possessed. During the trial, the father claimed to suffer from post traumatic stress disorder caused by growing up in Lebanon: Continue reading

Bulletin Board v299

80.9% of sex convicts in Lagos prisons abused during childhood — At least, 80.9 percent of sex convicts and inmates awaiting trial for sexual and gender based violence in Lagos prisons have been abused during childhood, a recent report has revealed. The report, conducted by the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Response Team, DSVRT, revealed that due to the early abuse, the inmates had been sexually active, leading to sexual offences being committed by them.

Archdiocese of Ottawa paid former altar boy $50,000 after sex abuse allegations — More than a decade before the Archdiocese of Ottawa told Jacques Faucher he could no longer be a priest, it paid tens of thousands of dollars to a former altar boy who had accused the reverend of molesting him. Faucher was convicted in March of historical sex offences against three other children, but newly obtained documents by the Sun show the diocese wrote a $50,000 cheque to a former altar boy when he was an adult in 1998, more than a year after he told the church about the alleged sexual abuse.

Denver man freed after 28 years in prison acquitted of rape — A Denver man who spent more than a quarter of a century in prison for a rape he long denied committing was acquitted of the crime on Monday, leaving a courtroom to applause from supporters and chants of “it’s over.” Clarence Moses-EL, 60, was freed in December, after a judge overturned his 1988 conviction on rape and assault charges and found that he would likely be acquitted if his case went to trial again. Continue reading

Support male victims on International Men’s Day

Today is November 17th, International Men’s Day. There will be plenty of articles from feminists bashing the focus on men’s issues. There will be plenty of articles from feminists claiming men’s issues are important, but not that serious. They will be plenty of articles from feminists giving lip service men’s issues.

What they are not going to do is offer support to men. In light of that, this post will include links to various organizations that assist men and boys. If anyone has any organizations that help men and boys, please leave them in the comments below and I will add them to the list. I do ask people check the organizations before adding them. Having gender neutral language on their site is not enough. It is important to make sure that the organization actively assists men and boys.

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The Innocence Project
The Campaign Against Living Miserably
Just Detention International
Living Well
MaleSurvivor
ManKind UK
Survivors UK
Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests
Urban Light