A Band of Brothers

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There are many men and boys who experience abuse in their lives. They often do not have a place to talk about those experiences. This post is a space for that.

Any man or boy who wants to share his experiences of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, bullying, and harassment may do so here. You may submit your story as a comment. You can use your own name, a pseudonym, or remain anonymous.
You may share whatever you feel comfortable with, be it your whole story or just a moment.

The purpose of this post is show people what men and boys go through. It is to shed light on the truth of those experiences and shatter the stereotypes of about them.

I will moderate all comments and remove any that are not from men or not on topic. This just to make sure the comments are only from men and only about their stories.

(A note to those posting: if you use profanity, the comment will automatically go into moderation. This applies to all comments on this blog, so it is nothing personal. Once I see the comment, I will approve it.)

A Dose of Stupid v109

It happens every day. In fact, it is pretty hard to avoid it. There are some things that can only be understood with a slap on the forehead. Things so mind-boggling that one wonders how humans managed to evolve thumbs while being this mentally inept. Case in point:

Feminists ask conference attendees to use “jazz hands” because clapping triggers anxiety

I consider this to be yet another example of feminists’ continued effort to ironically undermine their own goals by proving their immaturity. Here is the explanation for this stupidity:

The National Union of Students (NUS) Women’s Campaign announced the clapping “ban” at the West Midlands conference on Twitter Tuesday, shortly after receiving a request from the Oxford University Women’s Campaign.

“@nuswomcam please can we ask people to stop clapping but do feminist jazz hands? it’s triggering some peoples’ anxiety. thank you!” Oxford representatives wrote.

Within five minutes, NUS tweeted: “Some delegates are requesting that we move to jazz hands rather than clapping, as it’s triggering anxiety. Please be mindful! #nuswomen15.”

I am curious: how are “feminist” jazz hands different the the typical ones? Do the feminist jazz hands have vaginas in the palms à la Vampire Hunter D? ( I am just asking questions.)

Setting that aside, let us find out how clapping is triggering. Continue reading

Police find no evidence in U-Va rape case

Charlottesville police revealed on Monday that they found no evidence of gang rape in the infamous University of Virginia case:

Police here say they have found no evidence to support claims in a Rolling Stone article that a University of Virginia student was gang raped at a campus fraternity in September 2012, noting that months of investigation led detectives to discredit several claims about the alleged assault.

Police Chief Timothy J. Longo on Monday afternoon said the police department had multiple meetings with “Jackie” — the woman who claimed she was gang raped at a fraternity party — and that she declined to speak about the alleged incident or provide any information about it. Numerous lines of inquiry yielded evidence that the fraternity did not have a party the night of the alleged attack, and police were unable to find anyone matching the description of the alleged attacker.

“We’re not able to conclude to any substantive degree that an incident occurred at the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity house or any other fraternity house, for that matter,” Longo said at a news conference. “That doesn’t mean something terrible didn’t happen to Jackie … we’re just not able to gather sufficient facts to determine what that is.”

I understand Longo’s position, however, the findings are fairly damning. Not only do they show that Jackie’s story is false, but they also show that she was unwilling to cooperate with police.

There is no way to spin this: it appears Jackie lied. Continue reading

The Darling Effect

I watched a BBC segment about sexism against men. The panel featured several feminists and non-feminists, including Milo Yiannopolous. It is an amazing thing to watch.

Despite the segment being about men and their issues, the feminists refused to allow any of the men to speak. They frequently interrupted the men, dismissing the men’s opinions about their own experiences while telling the men what it was they were actually experiencing. Of course, the feminists also followed this with a large helping of “women have it worse.”

What I found hilarious was the general condescending tone most of the feminists used. They came across as if they were doing men a favor by even listening to them. Sargon of Akkad has a fantastic take down of the round table, and he repeatedly makes the same point. Continue reading

How not to talk to child abuse victims

To the call-in radio show hosts out there, if you have someone who calls in and tells you they were abused as a child, do not say things like this:

“I feel very sorry for you but I don’t know what can be done about it now, I mean you are 80 years of age, we’re going back a long, long way. A long way”, Laws responds.

“But maybe you feel a little bit better having talked about it, do you?”

“Not really,” Brian responds.

“So in other words we’ve wasted each other’s time,” Laws says.

“I’m sorry, I would rather have liked to have thought you felt a little bit better.”

“I’m sad more than anything,” says Brian.

That was John Laws’s response to an 80-year-old caller named Brian. Brian shared his account of being repeated sexually abused as a child. He stated that he was abused at 11 and 14-years-old. The assaults occurred during the 1930s, and given Brian’s situation at the time, he was unable to report them. He did attempt to report the assaults in the 1960s and 1970s, however, the police told him to forget about it and refused to help him.

The abuse left Brian obviously traumatized. Continue reading

A Difficult Marriage

I came across an article written by a woman raised by lesbian mothers. Heather Barwick argued in her piece that while she supports the gay community, she no longer supports gay marriage. She stated:

Growing up, and even into my 20s, I supported and advocated for gay marriage. It’s only with some time and distance from my childhood that I’m able to reflect on my experiences and recognize the long-term consequences that same-sex parenting had on me. And it’s only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting.Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.

According to Barwick, her mother married her father essentially to fit in. However, Barwick’s mother eventually came out, divorced her father, and found a woman to share her life with. Barwick’s father “wasn’t a great guy” and after her mother “left him he didn’t bother coming around anymore.”

That is a poor reason for failing to support gay marriage. Continue reading

The so-called victimless crime

The Washington Post ran an article in December titled No matter what Jackie said, we should automatically believe rape claims. Zerlina Maxwell penned the article following the fallout from media coverage of the University of Virginia fraternity rape case, specifically the revelation that the accuser’s story had many factual problems.

Maxwell, prompted by the numerous claims of false accusations in the U-VA case, wrote that a false accusation is not that bad for the accused:

The accused would have a rough period. He might be suspended from his job; friends might de-friend him on Facebook. In the case of Bill Cosby, we might have to stop watching, consuming his books, or buying tickets to his traveling stand-up routine. These errors can be undone by an investigation that clears the accused, especially if it is done quickly.

She should tell that to Kirk Odom. As the Washington Post reported:

When he was first sent to the federal prison in Lorton, Va., for a crime he did not commit, Kirk Odom was warned never to tell other inmates about his rape conviction. If he did, the information could make him prey to inmates seeking vengeance.

It was 1982 when a fellow inmate walked up to him and whispered, “I know what you did,” Odom recalled. Two days later, Odom was raped in his cell. It would be the first of more than a half-dozen sexual assaults Odom would endure during two decades in prison.

Some 15 years later, Odom took an HIV test. It was negative. Months later, a fellow inmate again sexually assaulted Odom. After that attack, he took another HIV test. This time, it was positive. “I was devastated,” Odom testified Tuesday in D.C. Superior Court.

Over two days on the witness stand, Odom has been recounting his time in prison, his sexual assaults, his suicide attempts, his depression and his estranged family relations; all of that is attributed, he says, to his false imprisonment for a 1981 armed robbery, burglary and rape conviction. He is suing the District for emotional and physical pain and distress from his time at the Lorton prison.

Yet according to Maxwell this can be “undone by an investigation that clears the accused, especially if it is done quickly.” How can the District of Columbia undo the rapes, the HIV infection, the suicide attempts, the depression, and the torn family relations? Odom certainly does not consider this an easy fix: Continue reading

The Shaming of a “Feminazi”

Jessica Valenti wrote another article about why feminists do not hate men but if they did it would not matter. I am not going to link to it. That is not only because I have no desire to fall for her click bait, but also because I found something funnier.

Rush Limbaugh coined the term “feminazi” years ago during one of his (I assume) drug-fueled rants. It is not a term I favor as it fails to properly convey the idiocy, ineptitude, and perpetual victim mentality of modern feminism. However, I must give Limbaugh some credit (and yes, I just spat for having even written those words): it actually does not take much to make feminists sounds like Nazis.

Some wonderful men’s rights activist got the idea to run Valenti’s “I don’t hate men but I really do” article through a Firefox add-on and replaced every mention of “men” with “Jew” and feminist with “Aryan.” The result: Continue reading