A Band of Brothers

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There are many men and boys who experience abuse in their lives. They often do not have a place to talk about those experiences. This post is a space for that.

Any man or boy who wants to share his experiences of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, bullying, and harassment may do so here. You may submit your story as a comment. You can use your own name, a pseudonym, or remain anonymous.
You may share whatever you feel comfortable with, be it your whole story or just a moment.

The purpose of this post is show people what men and boys go through. It is to shed light on the truth of those experiences and shatter the stereotypes of about them.

I will moderate all comments and remove any that are not from men or not on topic. This just to make sure the comments are only from men and only about their stories.

(A note to those posting: if you use profanity, the comment will automatically go into moderation. This applies to all comments on this blog, so it is nothing personal. Once I see the comment, I will approve it.)

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CAFE Proposes First Shelter for Abused Men and Kids

I watched a video by Karen Straughan mentioning a proposed shelter for abused men and their children. CAFE, the Canadian organization which fights for men’s rights, set up a Go Fund Me page for the shelter. Below is their introduction video:

According to Karen, there is a donor who has agreed to match any donations the shelter receives. If you have the money to spare, please support the fundraiser. This will help provide abused men and their children with much needed support as many shelters in Canada discriminate against male victims by refusing them service or access to long-term safe housing.

Please visit the Go Fund Me page for more information.

Beware Male Feminists #MeToo

I have written extensively about male feminists and the ironic rejection they face within the feminist movement. While many female feminists say that they want men to support feminism, plenty of other feminists will scourge male feminists for simply being male. Even the thing one would expect a member of a group to do — promote the movement — is often seen as male feminists trying to “hijack” feminism from women.

While I have previously noted that with friends like these male feminists do not need enemies, it is also the case that in many instances female feminists’ fear of male feminists is warranted. Continue reading

The Depths of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

I thought I would start 2018 with something positive. I watched a Razorfist video a few days ago about Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

I watched DS9 many years ago. I found the series very entertaining, particularly once it got to the Dominion War. The series is a turn in the Star Trek franchise. Rather than the utopia typically seen in the original series or the Next Generation, DS9 showed how the rest of the galaxy worked. While the Federation may be perfect, they live in a world where everyone else is not, and that has long-term ramifications. The series also chipped away at the utopian Federation concept, showing that they could be as shady as any other culture.

What I enjoy about Razrofist’s video series is his rapid-fire analysis. It is funny and engaging, but more importantly, it makes me want to rewatch the series. Benjamin Sisko is one of my favorite Star Trek characters, and I hold him as equal with Picard as my favorite captain. Continue reading

The Hypocrisy of the US Complicity in Child Rape

A United States government agency finally took issue with the rampant rape of boys in Afghanistan. According to a recent article:

In its most recent quarterly report, the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction (SIGAR) criticized the Afghan government for failing to adequately protect boy victims of sexual abuse known as bacha bazi. […] The SIGAR report said the Afghan government has failed to adequately assist bacha bazi victims and that is resulting in the “arrest and prosecution” of boys who have been victims of that abuse. These abuses continue despite President Ashraf Ghani’s June 2016 pledge of “thorough investigation and immediate action” of bacha bazi abuse by military personnel.

The U.S. is in no position to point fingers. Our government has known about the abuse for almost two decades. Rather than stop the abuse, we have ignored it. Two years ago, the Pentagon denied promoting a policy of ignoring this abuse, despite a leaked field manual showing that troops were instructed to avoid “any criticism of pedophilia.” The State Department researched the abuse against boys, however, the findings focused on protecting girls from potential abuse from former male victims, not preventing the boys from being raped in the first place. This is the same institution that tried to discharge a Green Beret for assaulting a child rapist. Continue reading

4,444 vitcims: The travesty of sexual abuse in Australia’s Catholic Churches

Four thousand four hundred and forty four cases of sexual abuse in 35 years.

The number is astounding. So much abuse, so many lives tormented. These numbers come from recently released information about Australia’s Catholic archdiocese. From the Guardian:

Seven per cent of Australia’s Catholic priests were accused of abusing children in the six decades since 1950, according to new data from the royal commission.

On Monday the royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse released damning statistics on the scale of the crisis within the Catholic Church. The numbers confirm the extent of sexual predation already suggested by four years of royal commission hearings involving the church, which are now entering their final weeks.

Up to 15% of priests in some dioceses were alleged perpetrators between 1950 and 2015, with abusers most prevalent in the dioceses of Sale and Sandhurst in Victoria, Port Pirie in South Australia, and Lismore and Wollongong in New South Wales. The numbers were even worse in some national Catholic orders. By far the worst was the order of the St John of God Brothers, where a staggering 40% of religious brothers are believed to have abused children.

Forty percent. Try to fathom that two thirds of a dioceses clergyman are child rapists. For the number to be that high, one would imagine they were not hiding their activities. There would be far too many victims. The most logical conclusion is also the most disturbing and horrific: the Church knew about the abuse and intentionally did nothing. Continue reading

Woman dodges prison to spare her kids from foster care

Here is yet another example of women getting a pass for a reason that would never apply to a man:

A FORMER dinner lady who had sex with a 14-year-old boy has been spared a prison term because it would have meant her four children would be put into foster care.

That makes perfect sense. A person commits a crime, but because they have a family who depends on them, said person should not face the consequences of their actions. We can be sure, of course, that the crime in this instance was completely harmless and the offender had no idea she violated the law:

Terri Spragg, 35, had sex with the young lad on several occasions – including on the kitchen floor – warned him not tell anyone because it was illegal.

So Spragg not only pursued the victim, gained his trust, and abused him, but she also clearly knew it was wrong.

That is likely why she was convicted on seven charges. Of course, the judge wasted little time holding the victim responsible: Continue reading

Director Bryan Singer Sued For Alleged Sexual Assault

Cesar Sanchez-Guzman filed a lawsuit against director Bryan Singer, alleging the director sexually assaulted him in 2003. According to the media reports:

In the lawsuit, Sanchez-Guzman alleged that Singer was a guest at the party and took him on a tour of the yacht and sexually assaulted him. The lawsuit charges Singer with sexual assault and battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress and sexual exploitation of children.

Singer’s spokesman, Andrew Brettler, said the allegations were false, and this case would fail like another case brought against Singer in 2014 did.

I wrote about that case when it occurred. In that post, I mentioned that Singer faced a previous suit regarding a boy who acted in his film Apt Pupil.

Rumors regarding Singer suggest that he prefers teen boys and shows no interest legal young men who look younger than their age. Continue reading