There are many men and boys who experience abuse in their lives. They often do not have a place to talk about those experiences. This post is a space for that.
Any man or boy who wants to share his experiences of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, bullying, and harassment may do so here. You may submit your story as a comment. You can use your own name, a pseudonym, or remain anonymous.
You may share whatever you feel comfortable with, be it your whole story or just a moment.
The purpose of this post is show people what men and boys go through. It is to shed light on the truth of those experiences and shatter the stereotypes of about them.
I will moderate all comments and remove any that are not from men or not on topic. This just to make sure the comments are only from men and only about their stories.
(A note to those posting: if you use profanity, the comment will automatically go into moderation. This applies to all comments on this blog, so it is nothing personal. Once I see the comment, I will approve it.)
Let us say a person records themselves sexually abusing their son and shares the images with another person. Who should receive the harsher sentence: the person who abused the child or the one who received the images of the abuse?
Logic and ethics would suggest that the person who had physical contact with the child should face the stiffer sentence. However, this does not apply when one adds in the sex of those involved. Such is the situation in a recent case:
A Red Deer mother and licensed daycare worker has been sentenced to three-and-a-half years in prison for using her four-year-old son to make child pornography.
The woman, 43 years old at the time she was charged, pleaded guilty to sexual assault, making child pornography and distributing child pornography.
Authorities discovered the woman while investigating Peter Allen Cash. The Idaho man had numerous videos and images of child pornography on his phone. Canadian and Idaho authorities worked together to track down one of the boys from the images, which led to the woman’s arrest. Here is where it gets odd: Continue reading →
American childhood sexual abuse survivor holds free public seminars in Auckland — A sexual childhood abuse survivor hopes that sharing his story will help change the mindset of other sexually abused Kiwi males. Greg Holtmeyer, 51, of Missouri in the United States, is holding a closed group and a public seminar on male sexual abuse at Auckland’s Unitec in Mt Albert from May 29 to 30. New Zealand Police Data shows 624 cases of male sexual assault and related offences were reported last year.
John Robson: Why are there almost no shelters for male victims? And why is asking that question so controversial? — Do you believe that men need help today? If so, we should do lunch. Specifically, this Sunday I’ll be speaking at the opening of the Canadian Association for Equality (CAFE) Ottawa Centre for Men and Families, “Ottawa’s first multi-service hub for the health and well-being of boys, men, fathers and families.” It’s May 28, at Biagio’s Italian Kitchen on Richmond Rd. at 2:00 and I hope you’ll contribute and, if in the area, attend, because surely such a thing is desirable.
Knox County woman sentenced to 24 years in prison for abuse of stepsons — She tortured them, beat them, handcuffed them, starved them and even tried to drown them, but Jessica Cox’s stepsons gave her forgiveness and thanks on Friday. “Thank you, Jessica,” Austin McIntosh, now 20, told his stepmother as she faced sentencing in Knox County Criminal Court Friday for the months-long abuse she carried out against him and his younger brother, Justin McIntosh. “Without you, I would not be the person I am today.” Continue reading →
It appears the Vatican still has a propensity for deploying terrible representatives to handle child abuse investigations. A envoy for the Vatican recently made a startling claim:
Father Dante Simón, one of the two envoys sent by the Vatican to probe the scandal, suggested that some accusations have been dismissed because they were invented by “spiteful” boys who had fallen in love with priests and were rejected. Despite the fact that more than 60 former students have come forward with allegations involving sexual abuse at the institute, Simón chose to highlight “dismissed” cases.
“A few (cases) have been dismissed,” the priest told the Mendoza Post. “Because there are people who are spiteful. For example, a girl or a boy falls in love with a priest, and he doesn’t respond back. The boy can be very spiteful like a woman can. So, they denounce him (the priest),” Simón told reporter Martín Tejerina.
Yes, of course. Little boys and girls fall in love with priests all the time. With so many potential lovers, what is a priest to do? He will have to deny some of the children. And children, being “spiteful” little creatures, are prone to lie about being sexually abused.
An unnamed high school invited feminist commentator Clementine Ford to speak to the students. Ford is notable for her negative comments about men. She also tends to get into arguments across social media involving a number of issues.
Keep in mind that these are teenagers. While some of them were probably trying to get a rise out of Ford, given the intensity of her response and her reputation, none of this is shocking. And of course, Ford felt the need to that there is “a group more arrogant and yet conversely less intelligent than 15 year old boys”.
One of my biggest issues with transgender activism is the way activists attempt to control other people’s sexual preferences. There is a obvious problem that will occur for most transpeople when it comes to sexual relationships. To put it bluntly, they likely will not have the sex organs their potential partners find arousing. Some transpeople take offense to this rejection, arguing that some women have penises and some men have vaginas.
This is biologically inaccurate. The scientific method we use to determine sex is based on our chromosome patterns and how humans as a species reproduce. Our genitals are what indicate externally that we are a dimorphic, i.e. two-sex, species. Males, precluding some genetic abnormality, have testes and penises. Females have ovaries, uteruses, and vaginas. This may not fit with the political arguments made by the transcommunity, however, it is biologically accurate.
As a result of this biology, most people will prefer one of the sexes and expect that sex to possess the corresponding sex organs. It is not biased to assume this anymore than it is biased to assume humans would prefer another human as a sexual partner.
It is hard to believe that anyone, let alone a professor, would argue against free speech. The freedom to say what you want, even if everyone else finds it disagreeable is an inherent part of American culture. It is what allows us to challenge religion, the government, and outside forces. It is also what allows us to express ourselves and live our lives in the manner we wish.
Who would want to curtail such freedom? Ulrich Baer, a professor, argues that free speech should be controlled because it might hurt some people’s feelings. It is a thing to behold:
At one of the premieres of his landmark Holocaust documentary, “Shoah” (1985), the filmmaker Claude Lanzmann was challenged by a member of the audience, a woman who identified herself as a Holocaust survivor. Lanzmann listened politely as the woman recounted her harrowing personal account of the Holocaust to make the point that the film failed to fully represent the recollections of survivors. When she finished, Lanzmann waited a bit, and then said, “Madame, you are an experience, but not an argument.”
This exchange, conveyed to me by the Russian literature scholar Victor Erlich some years ago, has stayed with me, and it has taken on renewed significance as the struggles on American campuses to negotiate issues of free speech have intensified — most recently in protests at Auburn University against a visit by the white nationalist Richard Spencer.
The two instances have nothing in common. The latter is a situation in which a group of people wish to prevent a controversial speaker from sharing his opinions while the former is a situation in which a one person challenged another person’s presentation of historical events.
Free speech is a zero sum proposition. You either have it or you do not. The moment that someone can stop you from saying anything, you lose that freedom. Continue reading →
In its simplest definition, a “trigger” is a stimulus — a smell, sound, or sight — that initiates feelings of trauma. The stimulus could be anything from a color to a song. It is not clear how the brain forms these connections, however, it appears to be linked with sensory experiences. The trigger works in various ways, sometimes needing only something similar to the sensory experience or something similar to situation in which the experience occurred.
For example, a person who was in a car accident may experience a triggering response to the song that was playing on the radio when the accident happened. It may even extend to the musician or similar sounding music. However, a person may experience a trigger response due to a situation. For example, getting into a car or simply seeing one might cause the person anxiety.
The reason the above explanation was necessary is because there has been an abuse of the word “trigger”. Far too many people use it to mean that something made them uncomfortable or reminded them of a negative experience. That is not a trigger.
Why bring this up? I do so because a feminist teacher claimed she was “triggered” by a male student’s paper criticizing “rape culture”. According to the anonymous blog post, the teacher decided to educate her male students on the theory of “rape culture”. Many of the male students rejected the theory, yet one student’s rejection stood out: Continue reading →