A Band of Brothers

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There are many men and boys who experience abuse in their lives. They often do not have a place to talk about those experiences. This post is a space for that.

Any man or boy who wants to share his experiences of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, bullying, and harassment may do so here. You may submit your story as a comment. You can use your own name, a pseudonym, or remain anonymous.
You may share whatever you feel comfortable with, be it your whole story or just a moment.

The purpose of this post is show people what men and boys go through. It is to shed light on the truth of those experiences and shatter the stereotypes of about them.

I will moderate all comments and remove any that are not from men or not on topic. This just to make sure the comments are only from men and only about their stories.

(A note to those posting: if you use profanity, the comment will automatically go into moderation. This applies to all comments on this blog, so it is nothing personal. Once I see the comment, I will approve it.)

Best plea deal ever

“They will have spent more time incarcerated for petty crimes for Valerie Lieteau will for sexually abusing teenagers.”

That comment by Attorney Bruce Skaug sums up the utterly ridiculous situation in a recent child rape case:

A former juvenile corrections nurse accused of sexually abusing boys incarcerated at the facility where she worked has accepted a plea deal that rids her of a child sex charge.

Prosecutors amended a charge of sexual battery on a minor to aggravated assault Friday, the same day 41-year-old Valerie Lieteau entered her guilty plea.

Because the defendant did not plead guilty to a sexual crime, she will not be required to register as a sex offender.

That is rather curious because in most instances plea deals require one to admit to an offense. Yet for some reason the deal this woman received also her to walk without any real punishment. One would think her crimes would be benign in order to receive such a pass. They are not: Continue reading

Rethinking juvenile justice

One of my pet peeves is the way we treat children who commit crimes. For some reason, we treat them more harshly than we do adults. We feel compelled sentence them to long sentences, long mandatory minimums, and sentences with no possibility of parole. We like to charge them as adults, the younger the better, and inexplicably place children in prison with adults.

More bizarre is that we allow this to occur despite knowing what could happen to these kids. It makes no sense for us to charge 8-year-olds as adults. It makes no sense for us to imprison a 14-year-old to life without the possibility of parole. It makes even less sense to lock them in solitary confinement or sentence them to death.

The latter the Supreme Court addressed several years ago. They banned juvenile executions in 2005. However, life without parole still remained in place. Now they have struck that down as well, and made the ban retroactive: Continue reading

Being a Man: A Difficult Discussion

How do I tell him?  How much do I tell him?

I always intended to tell my godson about the things that happened to me. I see no reason to keep it from him. So much of who I am today comes from bonding with him. He deserves to know. However, the last thing I expected was to have that conversation this past weekend. Correction, the last thing I expected was that the death of a musician and one of his best songs would spur that discussion.

Prince died last Thursday. My foster father is a massive Prince fan, so our home was filled with Prince’s music over the weekend. My foster father has original vinyl pressings of Prince’s first three albums. No one was allowed to touch them, especially no one under the age of twenty. That seems petty, but he had a practical reason: none of them had ever held a vinyl record before, let alone put one on to play. The scratching potential alone was not worth the risk.

On Sunday we made it a day of Prince’s music. Like any true fan, my foster father has multiple versions of the albums, so he moved from the more fragile vinyl records to his digital collection. Since everyone was in a good mood and singing along with the songs, I decided to join in as well.

Some of the songs I had not heard in years, like Scarlet Pussy and Partyman (the best part with the latter song is that everyone but my foster father only knew the lyrics up to the point where the song ends in Batman). I am a fan of Prince’s music, primarily his music from the eighties. I always liked his videos and the few performances I got to see on television. He was a showman in the truest sense.

However, I also have an unpleasant memory involving one of his songs. That song, of course, would be the one my godson asked me to sing. Continue reading

One Ottawa Boy’s Hell: part 2

Last year I wrote about a case in which a Mountie faced numerous charges for torturing his son. The man’s excuse for this behavior was that his son was out of control and misbehaved. The man’s wife, the victim’s stepmother, claimed the boy made sexual advances toward her. All of this was used to justify locking the child in a basement, starving him nearly to death, beating him daily, and forcing him to do exercises.

None of this made much sense, but at the time I was unable to find out more information about the case. A recent article, however, provides some insight into the man’s actions: Continue reading

Bulletin Board v288

Absurdity reigns in campus sexual assault trials — There’s an old legal adage that good facts make good law, and bad facts make bad law. In the case of campus sexual assault, it may be that absurd facts will — eventually — make good law too. About five years ago, the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights issued a letter that would change the face of campus sexual misconduct proceedings at colleges across the country.

Boy alleging rape by father says also abused in foster care — A boy who was removed from the family home after allegedly being raped by his father and forced to have sex with his mother was further sexually abused while in foster care, a trial has heard. The now 12-year-old has so far spent five days giving evidence via video-link about alleged abuse by his parents in their Waterford home. He has alleged his father raped him, sexually abused him with a hot poker and forced him to have sex with his mother over the course of several years from when he was about six years old.

Catholic Church issues public apology for sex abuse of priests 20 years ago — Uruguay’s Roman Catholic Church said it is ashamed over the “abhorrent acts” committed by its priests who were accused of sexually abusing three persons who were in their teens 20 years ago even as it made a public apology for their acts. In a letter on its website, the church denounced the acts, lamenting that the crimes went unpunished because the statute of limitation has elapsed, the Associated Press reports. Continue reading

A Lesson in Indoctrination

My godson is in middle of choosing what college to attend in two years. I do not envy his position. Modern colleges have become a cesspool of progressive nonsense. Instead of teaching students how navigate a world with differing ideas, colleges indoctrinate students into an ideology that teaches them the world is riddled with sexism, racism, and a host of other bigotries.

It teaches them that white men rule everything and have unfair, unearned privileges. It teaches them that minority groups and women are constantly held back and treated as inferior. It teaches then to view the world in a purely adversarial manner.

This is what my godson must choose from. It is no wonder he is having a hard time choosing. Considering his interests — music and animals — unless he goes to vet school he will deal with this madness.

The curious part about this situation is that most people never get to see the insanity in its raw form. Sargon of Akkad solves that problem in a recent video: Continue reading

A Dose of Stupid v123

It happens every day. In fact, it is pretty hard to avoid it. There are some things that can only be understood with a slap on the forehead. Things so mind-boggling that one wonders how humans managed to evolve thumbs while being this mentally inept. Case in point:

Six Lazy Strawman Arguments about Critics of Feminism and Bad Advice About How to Beat Those Strawmen

Every few months some writes an article about how misunderstood feminists are and how to combat the misunderstanding. They typically only cite other feminists to support their arguments and rely on slanted studies and strawman attacks to defeat the criticism.

If the best you can do is lie about your critics and resort to logical fallacies and insults, then you give people no reason to support your movement. For some bizarre reason Suzannah Weiss decided to prove this point:

Have you ever called someone out, then had them twist it around and call you out right back? Anyone who has tried to bring attention to sexism (or racism, or homophobia, or anything of that nature) can probably relate to the frustrations of pointing out a double-standard or microaggression and being accused of overreacting or “reading too deeply into it.”

While I’m all for friendly debate, some debaters aren’t trying to engage with your position — they’re trying to dismiss it. Here are some cheap tricks I’ve seen people use to dismiss feminism and what you can say to defend yourself if they’re willing to listen.

So instead of Weiss providing a method of addressing people’s criticism of feminism and offering substantive commentary about that criticism, Weiss decides to go the lazy route and offer cheap tricks of her own to address challenges against her ideology. Let us see how this goes: Continue reading