A Band of Brothers

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There are many men and boys who experience abuse in their lives. They often do not have a place to talk about those experiences. This post is a space for that.

Any man or boy who wants to share his experiences of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, bullying, and harassment may do so here. You may submit your story as a comment. You can use your own name, a pseudonym, or remain anonymous.
You may share whatever you feel comfortable with, be it your whole story or just a moment.

The purpose of this post is show people what men and boys go through. It is to shed light on the truth of those experiences and shatter the stereotypes of about them.

I will moderate all comments and remove any that are not from men or not on topic. This just to make sure the comments are only from men and only about their stories.

(A note to those posting: if you use profanity, the comment will automatically go into moderation. This applies to all comments on this blog, so it is nothing personal. Once I see the comment, I will approve it.)

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Betsy DeVos to rescind Title IX sexual assault guidelines

Betsy DeVos, the Education Secretary, announced on September 7th that her department would review the Title IX sexual assault guidelines set in place by the Obama administration.

The administration created the guidelines following the campus rape hysteria drummed up by feminists. Feminist cited a study that claimed 1 in 5 women in college experience sexual violence. Later studies showed that the rate was grossly inflated and place the actual rate at about 1 in 52.

The major issue with the guidelines is that it requires colleges to lower the standard of proof in sexual assault cases. I highlighted this in a post from 2014. The standard was lower to a preponderance of evidence, which is the same standard used in civil court. This standard only requires a more likely than not finding in order to rule in favor of the complainant. One can see the immediate problem when applying this to a criminal offense. It is entirely possible for an innocent person to appear guilty based on limited or circumstantial evidence.

However, the new guidelines make matters much worse. As I noted in another post, accused students are not afforded council, not allowed to the see the evidence against them, not allowed to cross-examine witnesses, not allowed to present witnesses, and often are not informed of the complaints until the process is well underway. This forces the accused to prove their innocence, something that is a clear violation of constitutional law. Continue reading

Girls walk out on Clementine Ford after she refused to answer boys’ questions

Back in May, I wrote about an incident at an Australian school where feminist blogger Clementine Ford spoke. The school invited Ford to speak about women’s issues, and several boys in the audience challenged her views. Rather than address the boys’ questions, Ford left and later took to Twitter to bash the boys.This prompted a response from the school, which inexplicably took Ford’s side in attacking their male students.

New information, however, reveals that the situation was much worse for Ford than initially reported: Continue reading

Stop excusing women who lie about rape

Whenever a false rape allegation case makes the news, a number of people rush to defend the women (and occasionally men) who lied about the assault. These people will quote statistics about the “rarity” of false allegations, mention the difficulty of reporting sex offenses, and repeatedly remind others that some false accusers suffer from mental issues.

These people do this to obscure a basic truth about false allegations: they are incredibly believable.

Let us take the recent case of Jemma Beale. Beale, who is a lesbian, claimed that 15 different men sexually assaulted or raped her over the course of three years. She made numerous complaints to the polices, often giving names of the men she accused: Continue reading

Yes, Joss Whedon is still a feminist

The no true Scotsman fallacy is defined as:

[…] a kind of informal fallacy in which one attempts to protect a universal generalization from counterexamples by changing the definition in an ad hoc fashion to exclude the counterexample. Rather than denying the counterexample or rejecting the original claim, this fallacy modifies the subject of the assertion to exclude the specific case or others like it by rhetoric, without reference to any specific objective rule (“no true Scotsman would do such a thing”; i.e., those who perform that action are not part of our group and thus criticism of that action is not criticism of the group).

People use the fallacy most often in situations in which a member of their group commits an act that makes the person, and by proxy the group, look bad. The more prominent the figure in question, the more likely the group will resort to the fallacy.

This is particularly common among groups that hold themselves as morally and ethically superior to others. It becomes imperative that nothing tarnish that claim, especially when the claim itself is constantly in question. Again, the more prominent the figure in question, the more necessary it becomes to cast that person out of the group. The fallacy shifts from merely being that the no “true” member of the group would ever behave in such a manner to said person was never “truly” a member at all.

Such is the feminist response to a blog post from Whedon’s ex-wife Kai Cole. She posted a scathing commentary on Whedon’s “faux” feminist on the Wrap, claiming that Whedon admitted to a number of affairs with women over the years. She wrote: Continue reading

Bulletin Board v306

Addressing the Lack of Research on Male Childhood Sexual Abuse — On Thursday July 20, fans across the world mourned the loss of Chester Bennington, the lead vocalist for the world-renowned band, Linkin Park. Bennington’s suicide by hanging at the age of 41 stunned fans, but it also brought to light a rarely discussed topic: male childhood sexual abuse. One in six boys are sexually abused before the age of 16—yet the issue remains underreported, undertreated, and highly stigmatized.

Court: Juvenile sex crimes can be basis of civil commitment — Civil commitment of offenders who have been designated as sexually violent predators can be indefinitely extended for those whose crimes occurred when they were juveniles, the Washington Supreme Court unanimously ruled Thursday.

Fear of being called racist ‘stopping people from raising child abuse concerns’ — Potential cases of child abuse are not being raised because people fear being labelled racist, a Labour frontbencher has argued. There is a need to acknowledge that the “majority of perpetrators have been British-Pakistani” in the towns and cities where grooming gangs have targeted girls, Sarah Champion has said. Continue reading

The Hypocrisy of the US Complicity in Child Rape

A United States government agency finally took issue with the rampant rape of boys in Afghanistan. According to a recent article:

In its most recent quarterly report, the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction (SIGAR) criticized the Afghan government for failing to adequately protect boy victims of sexual abuse known as bacha bazi. […] The SIGAR report said the Afghan government has failed to adequately assist bacha bazi victims and that is resulting in the “arrest and prosecution” of boys who have been victims of that abuse. These abuses continue despite President Ashraf Ghani’s June 2016 pledge of “thorough investigation and immediate action” of bacha bazi abuse by military personnel.

The U.S. is in no position to point fingers. Our government has known about the abuse for almost two decades. Rather than stop the abuse, we have ignored it. Two years ago, the Pentagon denied promoting a policy of ignoring this abuse, despite a leaked field manual showing that troops were instructed to avoid “any criticism of pedophilia.” The State Department researched the abuse against boys, however, the findings focused on protecting girls from potential abuse from former male victims, not preventing the boys from being raped in the first place. This is the same institution that tried to discharge a Green Beret for assaulting a child rapist. Continue reading

Music That Inspires: One More Light

It has been a week since Linkin Park’s Chester Bennignton committed suicide. I figured now would be a good time to review the last Linkin Park album One More Light.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been a fan of Linkin Park, especially Chester, since the group debuted. One of the things I appreciate about the band is their combination of styles. They merge alternative rock, metal, rap, EDM, electronica, and ambient music. This style was later categorized as nu metal. I think this is what made Linkin Park so popular. There is a little bit of something for everyone. However, they are artists, and as such they like to experiment. After the first two albums, they began to change their style on each album.

This angered some fans who preferred the nu metal sound. The latest album, One More Light, brought that anger to its zenith. The album received a ton of hate from fans and lackluster reviews from critics. I heard the first single Heavy, and liked it. However, the sound was completely different from the typical Linkin Park fare. After reading some of the reviews, I held off on getting the album.

Now that I have it, I must say that it is not as bad as people suggested. It is a good album. It just is not a Linkin Park album. The album is pure pop. It is not even pop rock. There is very little guitar work on the album, and most of the bass and drums are played with in post production. It does not make the album bad, yet it does remove that signature Linkin Park sound. Continue reading