As I mentioned in the previous post, I caught Oprah’s show about female child rapists. At best the show at least brought some attention to the issue. The rape of boys by women is a serious problem that is largely ignored by our society, and the numerous boys and men who have been abused deserve the chance to share their stories and finally be heard.
But you would have never gotten that notion from watching Oprah’s show.
The second segment featured the story of convicted child rapist Dawn Reiser. Much like Duran, Reiser had a student with a crush on her. She toyed around with him, letting their “relationship” blossom until finally asking to be his first. Of course, that is not how Reiser put it. “He asked me to be his first,” Reiser says. “I was very honest. I said, ‘I’m flattered. I would love to. You’re not ready.’” Which is why she did not waste anytime molesting her 13-year-old student several times in her own home. Reiser was caught when she decided to write love letters to her 13-year-old victim while he was at camp. She even went so far as to attempt to disguise her handwriting as that of a junior high girl, but the camp counselors were not fooled and called the police. The child rapist is serving eight years for two counts of aggravated sexual assault of a minor.
I honestly do not know what was more disgusting: the fact that this woman attempted to portray herself as the victim or the fact that Oprah allowed the child rapist to use her show as a personal soapbox. Reiser says, with a smile, that her 13-year-old victim was not “really” a boy. He could look her in the eyes and was kind of muscular and built. He had a phenomenal vocabulary and he pursued her. He did have a crush on her, so obviously he was the offender. Watching the show, you could actually count the dramatic beats it took before the music shifted into a slow, melancholy lull as Reiser recounted her own abuse.
Come on, you knew that was going to happen. It’s Oprah. Not having a woman talk about abuse is like not having Bill O’Reilly talk about the war on Christmas.
In a moment of pure irony, the rapist recounts her own experiences with a teacher who “assaulted” her when she was 14 years old. He “tricked” her into thinking they were in love and “used” her. Two years later, she claims, she was raped by a family friend. For a moment, I had the distinct desire to listen to Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me a River.” In no more than a handful of sentences, this woman claimed to be a victim of the same crime she was convicted of, the same crime she had just claimed was not really a crime because her 13-year-old victim was really a man trapped in a boy’s body. Funny how when the roles were reversed, she was a just a child, assuming she was raped at all.
One of the major problems with female rapists and pedophiles is that people are willing to give them a place to tell their story. People like Oprah allow these women to present themselves as victims without comment or questions. Just recently another woman Oprah supported pled guilty to raping her 12-year-old cousin and having his child, her now 10-year-old daughter. In order to cover up the rape of her cousin, pedophile Twyana Davis claimed she has been raped. She threw her then newborn daughter into the garbage and ended up writing a book about her fictitious rape, appearing on both 20/20 and Oprah. Because of her lie, numerous newborns are allowed to be discarded in hospitals for up to 72 hours, just in case the mothers change their minds. And yet despite this child rapist admitting to her crimes, she still retains custody of her daughter.
But why should Reiser’s, Davis’s or Duran’s stories even matter? Why should we hear about their sordid tales of lies, lies and more lies over their victims’ stories? At every turn, female rapists are given chance after chance to rape again. No one takes them seriously despite several of the high-profile female child rapists reoffending while out on bail or probation. Everyone treats them as the victim, even while admitting that if these women were men, they would get no sympathy.
While the numerous men’s groups who offer support and services to male victims constantly discuss this very clear double standard, the larger portion of victim right’s groups are dead silent. Instead of reaching out the boys and men who have been victimized, they opt to either ignore them outright or aide their abusers in getting treatment while in prison. And that is perhaps what is most shocking about this situation. As a society we would rather help female pedophiles than 12-year-old male rape victims.