Part of the growing disconnect with how feminism impacts males negatively is the virtual lack of responsibility when it comes to what feminism and feminists present to the public. Many feminists present ideas that seek to address a problem by basically stating, “This is a problem. Don’t do this, this or this.” While setting mandates on what is unacceptable may in some cases be sufficient, in most cases it is not. In fact, focusing only on what a group cannot do begs the question of what they can do. The feminist response to this is, “It is not our problem.” The expectation is that those on the receiving end either figure it out themselves or settle for a total lack of interaction with women, neither of which particularly troubles feminists.
Jfpbookworm presents a classic example of this kind of logic (in reference to Hugh’s statements about attending an anti-rape presentation):
This story is far too common. This describes me as well from around age 12 through age 21. I call the phenomenon “Just Say No Means No,” and tends to be a common focus for shyness in adolescence. I don’t think feminism is to blame for it though. For instance, it’s not the anti-rape presenter’s job to turn around and say “but this other stuff is okay” so much as it’s the school’s job, if they take on the topic of sex education, to present positive examples as well as negative.* (Good luck with that, though – even before anyone heard the phrase “abstinence only”, people were making sure the curriculum was watered down with sex-negativity. Nobody wants to teach their kids how to say “yes” to sex.)
Actually, it is the anti-rape speaker’s job to present on some level what is acceptable. Not because the person had the courage to speak, but because the person is holding herself as a representative. To state only what is wrong is ineffective in preventing rape unless one’s goal is purely to shame boys. Now, let us not pretend that such presentations could go awry. Such instances could not occur.
Yes, it is a true statement that nobody wishes to teach kids how to say yes to sex, and that includes feminists. It appears the intent is purely to focus on the negative to the extent of shaming males and then blaming the males for that shame. It is an interesting concept to demand others take responsibility for their actions while not doing so oneself, but instead demanding the others take responsibility for one’s own actions as well.
Part of the fallacy of the quoted comment is the notion that one’s actions can have no direct impact, as if one exists in a social vacuum. Yet, by having a speaker there to relate her experiences shows that feminists do not honestly believe that to be the case. If one’s action have no impact, then the speaker serves no point, either for other females or for males. As this extends to feminism, if one wishes to address a problem, one must take responsibility the methods in which one does so and responses that occur as a result. One cannot pick and choose as one sees fit so as to present oneself as wholly altruistic and unblemished.
More so, until feminists are willing to recognize the negative impact of their actions (as opposed to denying any such thing could ever occur), they will continue to isolate and shame a great deal of males. Perhaps that works to their specific benefit, but it works against everyone else’s.