Taking Responsibility

Part of the growing disconnect with how feminism impacts males negatively is the virtual lack of responsibility when it comes to what feminism and feminists present to the public. Many feminists present ideas that seek to address a problem by basically stating, “This is a problem. Don’t do this, this or this.” While setting mandates on what is unacceptable may in some cases be sufficient, in most cases it is not. In fact, focusing only on what a group cannot do begs the question of what they can do. The feminist response to this is, “It is not our problem.” The expectation is that those on the receiving end either figure it out themselves or settle for a total lack of interaction with women, neither of which particularly troubles feminists.

Jfpbookworm presents a classic example of this kind of logic (in reference to Hugh’s statements about attending an anti-rape presentation):

This story is far too common. This describes me as well from around age 12 through age 21. I call the phenomenon “Just Say No Means No,” and tends to be a common focus for shyness in adolescence. I don’t think feminism is to blame for it though. For instance, it’s not the anti-rape presenter’s job to turn around and say “but this other stuff is okay” so much as it’s the school’s job, if they take on the topic of sex education, to present positive examples as well as negative.* (Good luck with that, though – even before anyone heard the phrase “abstinence only”, people were making sure the curriculum was watered down with sex-negativity. Nobody wants to teach their kids how to say “yes” to sex.)

*My emphasis.

Actually, it is the anti-rape speaker’s job to present on some level what is acceptable. Not because the person had the courage to speak, but because the person is holding herself as a representative. To state only what is wrong is ineffective in preventing rape unless one’s goal is purely to shame boys. Now, let us not pretend that such presentations could go awry. Such instances could not occur.

Yes, it is a true statement that nobody wishes to teach kids how to say yes to sex, and that includes feminists. It appears the intent is purely to focus on the negative to the extent of shaming males and then blaming the males for that shame. It is an interesting concept to demand others take responsibility for their actions while not doing so oneself, but instead demanding the others take responsibility for one’s own actions as well.

Part of the fallacy of the quoted comment is the notion that one’s actions can have no direct impact, as if one exists in a social vacuum. Yet, by having a speaker there to relate her experiences shows that feminists do not honestly believe that to be the case. If one’s action have no impact, then the speaker serves no point, either for other females or for males. As this extends to feminism, if one wishes to address a problem, one must take responsibility the methods in which one does so and responses that occur as a result. One cannot pick and choose as one sees fit so as to present oneself as wholly altruistic and unblemished.

More so, until feminists are willing to recognize the negative impact of their actions (as opposed to denying any such thing could ever occur), they will continue to isolate and shame a great deal of males. Perhaps that works to their specific benefit, but it works against everyone else’s.

3 thoughts on “Taking Responsibility

  1. I think that there is total, not virtual, lack of responsibility for the effect of feminist thought and action on males. Having the feminist mindset in one’s head means rejecting responsibility for hatred of males, harm to males and harm to society. It also means defining hatred of males as not hate, harm to males as not harm and harm to society as good.

    In all ways, it is like the Klan telling racial minorities that if they’d only join the Klan, everything would be wonderful. Well, NO!, everything would not be wonderful.

    Until the left, the feminists and the hard right are willing to take responsibility for their own bad behavior we will go on having more and ever more problems for our men and in our society.

  2. I do not know if it is as bad as the KKK, but the attitudes commonly seen amongst feminists can certainly make it feel that way. There is a wholesale rejection of criticism of their ideas and the responses often come across as hollow and condescending. What I personally find interesting is how much my online experiences mirror my real world experiences with feminists. Quite frankly, the ones who do the most damage are not the breast-beating, anti-male, pro-male rape radical feminists, but the moderates.

    It is tiresome to constantly play the ‘prove-it’ game when no evidence will be considered sufficient as the rules change at a whim. This is why I focus more on supporting and aiding organizations that provide services primarily to males or organizations that have little to no feminist involvement. That avoids most of the nonsense I have witnessed in the last few years and it avoids the headaches of having someone claim to be on your side while refusing to listen to a word you say.

  3. I don’t like using the Klan association, yet, it seems to be the only thing that fits. The totality of the rejection of responsibility combined with the absolute refusal to listen and then compared to real harm done … well, it makes the Klan association the only one that fits.

    I think you’re right in saying the moderates do more harm. There are a lot more of them and they seem so rational that Joe & Jane Public are more likely to listen to them. That pushes insane levels of misandry into the public mindset. That contempt does immense harm.

    What really annoys me is that I can see women’s troubles and the harm-effect of the radical part of the men’s movement. I have no trouble working at solving women’s troubles or taking a stand against the radical men. BUT! The feminists refuse to do the same thing. There is no reciprocity. They are too busy not-listening to learn anything, never mind actually do some work.

    You’ve likely heard “Men are people, not demons : Women are people, not saints” It’s a truism which many more people need to put into the very heart of all of their thinking. For feminists, refusing to learn this simple lesson is the heart and very soul of the problem we face. The idea that women are people is the hardest lesson to learn, at least I think so.

    Not seeing women as people is behind the idea that a woman would never lie. It’s behind the contempt thrown at battered men too. People do dumb things, sometimes people do evil things. Women are people and sometimes do dumb things and sometimes do evil things, yet so very few can grasp that concept.

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