Female sex offenders reveal cultural double standard

For an article dedicated to exposing the cultural double standard when it comes to female predators, the Seattle Times article does a fairly good job of reinforcing that standard. For the most part, it does address many of the perceptions associated with female predators. It addresses the fact that people generally consider boys “lucky” to be raped by women and the acceptance of female predators’ claims that they “love” their victims or that they were in a “relationship.” It delves into the way that boys perceive their abuse and how they are less likely to disclose it. The article even mentions how female predators are viewed as different from male predators, as somehow less bad or less evil.

And that is where it falters. Instead of questioning that notion, the article bolsters it with a rather apologetic, almost supportive explanation for female predators’ behaviors by Dr. Leigh Baker. Baker has a… theory as to the types of sexual predators. She labels the four types as inadequate, narcissistic, anti-social and pedophile:

An inadequate adult (and predator) has trouble forming attachments with other adults and is most comfortable with children, she says. A narcissist loves him- or herself to the detriment of others; someone who’s anti-social doesn’t abide by society’s rules; and a pedophile is sexually aroused by children.

One wonders which types female predators would fall under:

While some women are pedophiles and some men do profess their love for the children they sexually abuse, women are more likely to “couch it as a relationship,” according to Baker. Men are more likely to be serial pedophiles; women seek that “deep spiritual oneness” that Letourneau says she found.

The traits women predators exhibit — seeing themselves as a victim, low self-esteem, a sense of inadequacy, needing to be the center of attention, putting their own need for a connection before common sense — probably place most women predators into two of Baker’s four categories.

“My suspicion is if you took a large enough number of female predators, they would fall into all four types. But, we know women are less anti-social than men, and there are fewer female pedophiles, so I think most women are narcissistic or inadequate types of predators.”

An interesting conclusion, one that basically reinforces the notion that female predators really are not that bad and that raped boys really have nothing to complain about. After all, it is just narcissism and a feeling of inadequacy. It is not as if these women chose boys who came from broken homes, boys who were in desperate need of attention and used these boys to satisfy their own sexual desires. These women have absolutely no attraction to children whatsoever. It just so happens that all of their victims were pre-pubescent or barely pubescent boys. It is just pure coincidence.

Oddly enough, if one does a little research into the characteristics that define male predators, one finds a rather intriguing psychological traits:

Goes to great lengths to present him/herself as an exemplary person; developing a persona of goodness above reproach, thus thwarting any suspicion of wrongdoing —especially against a child, whom they have judicially professed great care and concern.

—–

Rationalizes his/her illicit activities, emphasizing his/her positive impact upon the victim and repressing feelings about the harm he/she has done.

—–

Often portrays the child as the aggressor. This usually occurs after the child realizes that by withholding “sexual favors” the child will obtain what he/she desires, such as new toys, clothing, or trips.

—–

Talks about children as one would talk about an adult lover or spouse.

—–

Is usually non-violent and has few problems with the law (pedophiles are more often than not respected community members).

Now, I do not have a degree in anything remotely related to psychology, but this sounds a lot like narcissism and matches–almost verbatim–the behaviors of female predators. And yet, the descriptions above are not of male predators, but male pedophiles. So why does Baker automatically reject the notion that female predators are in fact pedophiles for the rather whimsical idea that they are just seeking “deep spiritual oneness”(…with children)? Coincidentally, Michael Jackson carries a very similar view as many of the female predators described in the article. One might recall the milk and cookies comment and the ever-popular “Jesus Juice” controversy. No one hesitates to call Jackson a pedophile, even just for his desire to sleep in the same bed with children.

One cannot say for certain that Baker is trying to absolve female predators of their responsibility for raping boys, however, if public opinion is going to change it has to begin with the people the public turns to for knowledge and information about the predators. If the psychological community continues to excuse, downplay and deny female pedophilia, then the public is essentially righteous in their feelings that boys are just “lucky.” It is an empty gesture to state that boys are just as victimized as girls and in the same breath state that female predators really are not that bad and are just lonely. That kind of statement is two ticks away from endorsing female pedophilia. That should not be something any decent psychologist should want to do.

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Female sex offenders reveal cultural double standard

  1. “But, we know women are less anti-social than men…”

    Her erroneous assumption is that men are anti-social in a vacuum, independent of women.
    Men are anti-social because of the direct actions of women in general and ‘alpha males’. The latter provide women with social entertainment, which many women think they are entitled to. When other men don’t follow suit, these women malign the non-conformists. The non-conformists frequently don’t have the self-esteem to take this maligning with a pinch of salt and some become deviants. Some of the deviants seek redress via force.
    Hence, if women want to see a decrease in the number of sexual predators, they must consider that improving their own behaviour will decrease the chances of molestation.

    The situation is analagous to that of gender ‘affirmative’ action in principle: a small group of men must take ‘one for the team’ for the greater good of women. Nobody bothers about the disadvantaged until the latter make themselves ‘heard’ via some outrageous or extraordinary means.

    “Men are more likely to be serial pedophiles; women seek that “deep spiritual oneness”…”

    This is a rather pathetic appeal to nature: ascribing moral superiority to women just because women are genetically programmed to prefer monogamy. She seems to not be invested in criticising the obvious criminality of the coercion but rather in hiding behind the straw man of the alleged Victorianesque moral righteousness of monogamy over promiscuity.

  2. I just read the article on another website and feel mush as you do. The reporter is afraid to challenge the stereotypes and afraid to insult women by holding them responsible, but not at all afraid of insulting and degrading men.

    This defines our society, it is who the majority in our culture are.

  3. I read the article and the sense I got was that the writer was blaming the system for letting women off and for falling for that line that the abuse was part of a relationship. The context is the Mary K. Letourneau here in the Seattle area, which had women furious at the stupidity and leniency of the men prosecuting the case. The boy she molested/raped at 13 is now and adult, and the pervert lives with him. When this first came out women around here wanted her burnt at the stake, and not metaphorically.

  4. What a load of shit,I’ve met antisocial women & they can scare you worse then men,as for female pediphiles is concerned. The main stream media,reports on school teachers,who fucked their teenage students & I think thats wrong too. But as female pediphiles go,their just light weights & they never tell you about the teen baby sitter,who. Raped a 4 year old boy & they never told you about women,working in child daycare who molested boys & girls,under their care. And were not talking about teens or preteens,were talking about young children & most female pediphiles. Are close to their victims,she could be a friend of the family or a babysitter & what they don’t tell you is that most cases. Of female pediphiles,don’t happen in schools,but in your very homes or in the homes of the female pediphille.

  5. I just found out that my son’s FEMALE teacher from a very small private school is a sexual predator and pedophile. She RAPED my son’s best friend for an entire year. And we suspect that she did something to our son, though he has not come forward. She was 50. The boys were 10!!!

    She is a sick and demented B. She manipulated and connived. She is the director of a small private school and a large summer program with hundreds of kids. So, the judge thought it would be a good idea to let her out of jail. Her family only had to post 2.5K!!! Now she is free to do what she wants until her trial.

    And, guess what. People in the community are defending her and saying how she is so great and goes out of her way for kids. Sure she does – so she can RAPE them. Her mother was on TV defending her. Nobody was on TV defending her victim. People are saying the boy is lying or that he liked it.

    argh!!!! It makes me so angry.

  6. Pingback: When women sexually abuse | Toy Soldiers

  7. Pingback: When women sexually abuse | Toy Soldiers

  8. Pingback: Let us talk about the Polished Man campaign | Toy Soldiers

  9. Pingback: Hiding in Plain Sight: The Female Sexual Predator | Toy Soldiers

  10. Pingback: “Hiding in Plain Sight: The Female Sexual Predator” | inversionsuicide

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s