Every day I die again, and again I’m reborn
Every day I have to find the courage
To walk out into the street
With arms out
Got a love you can’t defeat
Neither down nor out
There’s nothing you have that I need
I can breathe
Those words have weighed on me since I first heard them a few weeks ago. That is not unusual for a U2 song. I typically find at least one song on their albums that resonates with whatever emotions I try to push down. Breathe, however, did something more than that. It reminded me of how distant I am from everyone. I have become more aware of this as I have gotten older, if for no other reason than I am around more people than I was as a child. I can see how normal bonds are formed and I notice that I am simply incapable of doing that.
That said, I am now trying to make an effort to connect. I suppose it is because I realize I am likely not going anywhere any time soon. I am likely going to be around for quite some time, so it would be better to stop fighting what few feelings I have and simply go with them. As much I do not want to admit it, I do feel a little better now that I am not trying to block everything at once.
Maybe I will eventually get to a place where I do not need songs like Breathe to express the feelings I ought to have.