It happens every day. In fact, it is pretty hard to avoid it. There are some things that can only be understood with a slap on the forehead. Things so mind-boggling that one wonders how humans managed to evolve thumbs while being this mentally inept. Case in point:
Teh menz don’t get raped.
A commenter on The Good Men Project graced us with a wonderful gem of misandry I feel compelled to share. Here is Kit’s comment in full:
“Not to genderize it”? When you have a more balanced proportion of a crime or issue into both gender, it’s fair. But when 99% of the rapists are men, and 1 in 3 woman in America have or will be sexually abused in their lives, it’s very difficult not to genderize the situation. Because it IS gender violence.
No, it’s not denying that men don’t suffer sexual abuse (by men I mean MEN, not boys – pedophilia is sexual attraction for children and in most cases it mechanisms of preference are completely dissociated from the victims gender, but for their condition of “child” and ther past abuse). It’s just saying that, when a man is walking down a dark street, he’ll be most afraid that someone robs him – while a woman will be afraid that someone rapes her, even if the statistics of robberies go more or less equal for both genders. It’s just saying that a man can drink his ass of and rarely worry about someone putting a penis on his butt – while a woman has to be constantly aware of it. And it’s the realization – and probably the most important – that, if 99% of the rapists are men, it’s a really petty gramatical correction to ask to write “teach people not to rape”, when everybody knows the possibilities a woman will do so are ridiculously minimal.
I’m a feminist, and I like this site. It contains a very broad-minded quantity of nice articles to make people think about the situation of the occidental white men and have them meditate about their behaviour, admitting mistakes and analyzing their condition in the world of today. It’s a great thing, because you’re pretty much the majority (in terms of power) and it’s nice to see dialogue and not a bunch or juggernauts who attack women and gays without thinking about it. But I also think that, while trying to show yourselfs as nice guys who are trying to like with and support other and live well in harmony, you sometimes commit the mistake of not realizing that something DO happen, and it’s not a misinterpretation nor a personal attack. Saying “teach men not to rape” is not saying “all men are rapists”, but “all (or almost all) rapists are men”. And it’s not an attack, it’s a fact.
And what it’s worst is that this particular phrase is meant to change roots of society, teaching our boys that women are humans and not to be raped (or their male partners can’t be forced either), and sex is not a domination weapon, for them to never think of a human being as a chunk of meat to fulfill their desires. It’s meant to be good for everyone, making boys into respectful men who don’t rape. Because, again, only %1 of rapes aren’t commited by men.
So it’s not despicable. Nor innecessary. I’m sorry, menz, but MEN RAPE. Rape women and other men. So you actuallly should support that phrase and work on making it reality, for yourselves as eventual rape victims also – not only because the possibility a woman will rape you is low, very low, and most of the time you’ll face as “she’s so horny for me” and actually consent.
Please try and face the fact itself, before saying that the Slutwalk “chose” the word “men”.
As of late, GMP has fallen back to shoring up its feminist credentials, so my comment was placed in automatic moderation. Since another poster noted that his forweg edited before it was posted, I decided to repost (or post) my response here:
Your claims about sexual violence are factually untrue. The CDC report that came out recently showed that between 40% to 60% of those who rape males are female. According to that same report, 1 in 5 men in America experience sexual abuse in their lives, and the researchers got that high a rate despite excluding female-perpetrated sexual violence as rape.
What people fear has nothing to do with what can actually happen to them. The majority of sexual violence is committed by someone the victim knows, and it is actually men and boys who face a higher risk of being assaulted by a stranger. More so, we live in a culture that tells men not to talk about their fears, and treats male victims of sexual violence by men or women as automatically gay. Even if men feared being raped by another man or by woman, they would never admit it, let alone show it.
“Teach men not to rape” implies that only men rape. It also implies that all men are potential rapists because the phrase does not say which men we are talking about. If feminists meant certain types of men, one would think they would say so. By using “men” they make it clear that they mean men in general, i.e. all men. This is not semantics, just basic English grammar.
More so, it is unclear how the phrase changes anything for the better. Speaking as a male survivor of sexual abuse, the phrase not only denies my experiences by framing rape as something that only happens to women, but also accuses me of being a rapist. How does that help me? How does it help men and boys to accuse them of doing something the vast majority of them will never do? How does it help them to hold them responsible for other people’s actions?
The phrase and the sentiment that created is despicable, as well as misandrist and pathetic. Trying to justify that biased nonsense is like the right trying to justify claims that President Obama was born in Kenya. It not only sounds stupid, but it also shows how prevalent and accepted misandry within the feminist movement since few feminists object to the phrase or the sentiment behind it.
As for your comment that men and boys raped by women will enjoy it and consent to it, I would just like to thank you for showing exactly what feminists actually think about women’s sexual violence against men and boys. I would also like to thank the resident feminists at GMP for having the courage to speak up in defense of male victims. Wait. My apologies. That has not happened.
And by the way, the Bureau of Justice numbers are based solely on reported crimes. Since male victims are less likely to report their abuse, and since victims of both sexes abused by women are less likely to report their abuse, the BoJ numbers are not an accurate reflection of the rate of sexual violence.
Kit’s comments are one of the reasons why I have such contentious distrust of feminists. It is not just that she made that, but the certainty and smugness with which she made them. There is no question in her comments, and no concern for how she comes across. The only option men and non-feminists have is to accept the feminist mantra or get mocked.
Another reason is that pesky moderation thing I mentioned earlier. There are two possibilities: 1) all comment go into moderation and must be approved, or 2) only certain people’s comment go into moderation. If it is the latter, then it reveals a clear bias at GMP towards anyone who questions feminist positions. If it is the former, then it means some moderator read Kit’s comment and let it through without questioning it at all, even though a similar comment written by a man or non-feminist would not be approved.
Thanks for keeping it classy, GMP.