Originally posted on September 16, 2012
In a recent interview, Sir Roger Moore, best known for his role as James Bond, revealed that two of his ex-wives abused him during their marriages:
“[Doorn Van Steyn] would scratch me. She threw a pot of tea at me.
“I’d been sunbathing in the garden, I came up and I’d taken off my pants and I gave her some smart Alec answer and this teapot came hurtling at me. I said, ‘right, that’s it, I’m leaving’.
”She storms off out of the room and I hear the bath running. I thought, ‘What a cow, I’m leaving her and she’s having a bath’.”
Sir Roger, the longest running Bond, added: ”So I smashed the bathroom door open and she had all my clothes in the bath and said, ‘now leave me’. I waited for them to dry. The marriage was doomed.”
Later, he recounted what his second wife, Dorothy Squires, did:
“I remember, to avoid confrontation, I used to strum the guitar and one day I was sitting on the edge of the table strumming and she was ranting on about something and I wasn’t taking any notice.
”Next thing I know, it was like slow motion, I could feel the guitar coming out of my hands and I could see it up above my head and… bash, it came down. She ruined the guitar. She had a great temper.”
But the Welsh vocalist also attacked him after learning he was having an affair with Luisa Mattioli, a young Italian actress who he would marry in 1969.
He added: “Dorothy was not happy. She threw a brick through my window. She reached through the glass and grabbed my shirt and she cut her arms doing it.
“The police came and they said, ‘Madam, you’re bleeding’ and she said, ‘It’s my heart that’s bleeding’.”
If any story shows that anyone can be abused, Moore’s accounts are proof of that. This is James Bond we are talking about, and yet neither Moore’s fame, social status, looks, or size prevented his wives from attacking him when they saw fit.
Moore’s accounts are hardly passing trivialities. All of them could have resulted in serious injury. What these women did show that people who are smaller find ways to make up for their lack of size and strength, often using weapons that can cause far more damage than a fist.
What is remarkable about Moore’s comments is not just that they happened to him, but that he mentioned them at all. Keep in mind, this is an 84-year-old man. His generation simply did not talk about abuse at all, let alone talk about abuse against men by women. For him to reveal this now is a testament to how things are changing, albeit slowly.
It is still difficult for men to come forward, especially if they are abuse by women. While our culture is warming up to the reality that yes, contrary to what many people think, women do abuse men and yes, contrary to what many feminists claim, it is often very serious abuse, we still have a long way to go.
Few services are available to abused men, and few existing organizations are willing to change that. We still do not talk about violence against men often enough, and when we do it is often tongue-in-cheek. Remember how people treated the Tiger Woods’ situation when he “crashed” his car after his ex-wife discovered that he had had several affairs? That was late-night fodder for weeks.
We need to take these issues seriously, and someone like Roger Moore coming out and talking about what he experienced helps that.