When women groom boys for abuse

I write often about female sex offenders, but it is rare for me to see any articles detailing how female abusers groom their victims. A recent article, however, does so:

A Melbourne mum used alcohol, drugs and tens of thousands of dollars to groom a teenage friend of her son for an ongoing sexual relationship, a court has heard.

The 52-year-old woman, who cannot be named to protect the victim’s identity, pleaded guilty in the Victorian County Court on Tuesday to repeatedly having sex with the teen over a four-year period.

The teenager was friends with the woman’s son and would regularly sleep over at her house.

On those occasions, the woman would sneak into the room to have sex with the teenager, sometimes as her son slept nearby, the court heard.

After one sexual encounter the teenager vomited in the bathroom for half an hour.

“I’d never had sex before this and I felt sick to the bottom of my stomach,” the boy said in a police statement that was read out in court.

The sexual relationship began in 2002 when the victim was aged 13 and the woman was 41.

According to the article, the woman at one point pushed the boy against a wall and groped him, called his school and claimed to be his mother to take him out of class, bought alcohol for him and his friends to keep him around her, and paid to keep up the boy’s drug habit. In a victim statement, the boy stated, “When I was 15 (the woman) turned me into an addicted drug user. I hate her for everything she did to me. I would give anything to erase what my life has been these past 10 years.”

Of course, the woman’s attorney spun the usual excuses:

Defence lawyer Jane Dixon said her client had been suffering from depression and anxiety and was trapped in a controlling marriage at the time of her crimes.

Forensic psychologist Patrick Newton told the court the woman had an immature and dependent personality with “limited social skills”.

She has pleaded guilty to one count of maintaining a sexual relationship with a child under 16 and will be sentenced on December 6.

The short of it is that woman will not spend much, if any, time in jail for her actions. However, the damage she did to this boy will carry a lot of weight. It has already resulted in him becoming a drug addict.

When people think that female abusers are harmless, this is the kind of thing people need to hear. We do not hear about how confusing sex can be to boys, even teenage boys. We do not hear about the pressure and force some women use to make their victims comply. People need to realize that just like men, women who abuse are not above ruining their victims to get their way.

22 thoughts on “When women groom boys for abuse

  1. Started when he was 13 and lasted 4 years. That is a lot of power – a lot of control. What I fond fascinating is the part of the report where “The woman supplied the victim with about $30,000 during their relationship” that’s In Ozzy Dollars so it makes it USD$32,000 and £19,000 UK.

    That is a lot of Dosh to keep hidden on an annual basis or at all. It indicates a level of deviousness which should have had alarm bells ringing. I really would love to know when and how the money was spent and that really would give insight into patterns. It had to be used for none obvious things, or individual items that would not draw attention.

    If you’re crazy in love with someone you buy visible gifts to show you affection – if your controlling and manipulating, especially if it has to all be kept secret, you use money to buy things in secret .. like booze and drugs and hotel rooms to use them in. I really would love to know just how it was getting spent.

    I love the idea as well of her depression and anxiety, was (Past tense indicating it was all about light relief) trapped in a controlling marriage at the time of her crimes and with immature and dependent personality with “limited social skills” and a bad marriage.

    And at which point did she loose the capacity to understand that stumping your sons 13 years old best mate and buying him off is not see as socially acceptable – and may even raise a few legal issues?

    The defence may make sense if she was a teenage boy with B.O., pizza boxes, soda cans and Kelly LeBrock/Weird Science on a loop, but sorry, the AU$30,000 sort of nails it down for me.

  2. was trapped in a controlling marriage at the time of her crimes.

    That was quite a neat way to shift any blame of what happened towards her husband. I think Australia has no fault divorce laws so I question the use of the word “trapped”. If the marriage was so controlling that she was trapped I wouldn’t expect there to be any room for grooming and sexually abusing a boy over a period of four years.

    I also wonder (not really) how well that defense would play for a male perpetrator.

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  5. “Defence lawyer Jane Dixon said her client had been suffering from depression and anxiety and was trapped in a controlling marriage at the time of her crimes.”

    Hey, I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety! I get to commit crimes without punishment, it seems!

    “Forensic psychologist Patrick Newton told the court the woman had an immature and dependent personality with “limited social skills”.”

    Well shoot, we can’t put someone with limited social skills in prison. There’s no precedent for that!

  6. Well shoot, we can’t put someone with limited social skills in prison. There’s no precedent for that!

    You evidently aint met too many prison guards then!

  7. How trapped and controlled was this woman if she had the financial means to spend $30k on recreational things?

    When lawyers assert that women are trapped in relationships in areas where no-fault divorce laws exist rather than asserting that the women just feel trapped, it’s the lawyer that needs to be impeached. A single word is sometimes all a child molester needs to walk free, if she’s a woman. Look out for Jane Dixon SC from Owen Dixon Chambers in Melbourne, I suspect we’ll be seeing more of her work in the very near future, now that the Victorain Government has endorsed The National Plan to Reduce Violence Against Women and Their Children.

    I wonder how long the Australian people will sit by and watch this gender apartheid march into their country?

  8. This is Victoria. Until the late nineties this woman could not even have been charged. She WILL get a suspended sentence. This state has imprisoned only one out of dozens.

    Another, Barbara Case, is in a US federal prison for a crime committed in my home town of Bendigo. She is a US citizen who chatted up a fourteen year old over the web and traveled here for the payoff in 2008 when he was fifteen. She was 37 but told him 21. The local media did everything they could to leverage sympathy for the perpetrator. Her “punishment” was an order to leave the country. The state of Victoria would rather leave the protection of her own sons to a foreign jurisdiction.

    Barbara Case is not the first female sex tourist to see publicity in Australia. Another preceded, much more successfully.

    Both these women entered games forums which were the primary habitat of adolescent boys. A bit like me joining Barbie Today. Both stripped their family bank accounts for the trip. Both left husband and children behind – pre-school daughters in the earliest case.

    A couple of years earlier that Californian woman traveled to Perth to hook up with a boy she’d groomed from fourteen(possibly younger given he was in year eight when it started). This one was smarter however. She raced the boy off to a motel room on his sixteenth birthday.

    I really don’t have the words to describe this actually…it happened with the full glare of national publicity. It was treated as a cute internet romance under titles like “Schoolboy Lover”. The Age, supposedly one of the world’s best newspapers had a soft focus eight by five on page three showing the loving couple hand in hand on the beach. No matter how much noise I made the grooming was invisible to everybody.

    She stayed in Aus for about fifteen months. It seems New Idea, a big womens’ mag, was giving her money for regular updates. She alienated the kid from his family, got pregnant, married the boy and took him back to the US before the baby was born. New Idea went with such titles as “Schoolboy Lover”, “Schoolboy Husband”, “Schoolboy Father” – very imaginative weren’t they – in glossy spreads. A lesbian friend looked at one of the articles and remarked that the woman “got herself a gorgeous little slave boy”. Immense truth in those words.

    The federal laws imprisoning Barbara Case preclude US citizens travelling abroad to circumvent their local age of consent. Arguably the Californian woman has committed statutory rape with everybody watching and been paid for the performance. I spoke to New Idea’s editor after their second installment in the developing romance. I pointed out the US laws AND those relating to internet grooming only to be met with a barrage of abuse and a dead line. New idea went on to give her more money. I consider that editor an accomplice.

    Australia isn’t ready to entertain the notion that women can do any harm.

  9. Here’s the US Department of Justice press release on the sentencing of Barbara Case.

    Stuart’s Draft Woman Sentenced for Sex Crime
    Barbara Case Traveled To Australia and Had Sex With A Minor


    June 17, 2011

    HARRISONBURG, VIRGINIA — A 39-year-old woman from Stuart’s Draft, who has admitted to traveling overseas and engaging in multiple sex acts with an underage boy, was sentenced this afternoon in the United States District Court for the Western District of Virginia in Harrisonburg.

    Barbara Renee Case, 39, who previously waived her right to be Indicted and pled guilty to a one count Information charging her with traveling in foreign commerce and engaging in illicit sexual conduct with a minor, was sentenced today in the United States District Court for the Western District of Virginia in Harrisonburg to 30 months of federal incarceration and will be required to register as a sex offender following her prison term.

    “Ms. Case was held accountable today for her sexual victimization of a 15-year-old boy,” United States Attorney Timothy J. Heaphy said today. “Her actions fit the profile of a child predator, as she initiated contact with her victim via the internet and telephone and developed a trusting relationship that turned sexual. This case demonstrates our commitment to identify and apprehend predators, even when they move through jurisdictions and cross international lines.”


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  11. This is Victoria. Until the late nineties this woman could not even have been charged. She WILL get a suspended sentence. This state has imprisoned only one out of dozens.

    Sentencing has now occurred. She gets seven with minimum five.

    I’d neglected to post it here but when I discovered the judge was female I revised my opinion. If it were up to me male judges would be kept away from these cases. It seems it takes a woman to see through the pity parties those perps always put on.

    Remarkable outcome for Victoria. In the fourteen years since our laws were amended to enable prosecution of female sex offenders this is only the second out of dozens to actually receive a real punishment.

    Local coverage…
    ABCWoman jailed for relationship with 13yo
    The AgeMelbourne mum jailed for sex with teen

    The Herald Sun don’t seem to have anything.

  12. If it were up to me male judges would be kept away from these cases. It seems it takes a woman to see through the pity parties those perps always put on.

    I can see the rational in that. Here in the UK I was painfully aware of how Magistrates and Judges were all too often caught in what some may describe as feminine whiles and victim playing. It was legion at one point – like of old female convicts would claim pregnancy to escape hanging (hangings had to be carried out within 1 month of sentence) – claimed 3 months gone – you do the maths.

    One associate and female magistrate was truly feared as she took no prisoners – or rather she did take prisoners and quite a few ladies went down and fast. Local police got used to arresting to coincide with her sitting on the bench.

    Now there is actual training for Magistrates and Judges in how to deal with certain whily types who could be quite pathological in their intent to manipulate others. Even court managers and staff get the training to protect all parties – and above all else to protect Justice.

  13. Women rape children. We know tgis to be true, for each city has a registered sex offender website, and out of the hundreds of men listed, 2 or 3 are women.
    The major role dysfunctional women play when it comes to child abuse is that of being the doormat housewife…the enabler. Without her constantly standing guard, the abuse would end.
    A classic example of this is Mrs. DottieSandusky. (she is one of Jerry Sandusky’s sex partners) Without her help, Jerry would have been in prison years ago.
    Prosecuting abusers hasn’t put a dent in child abuse. Until enablers are imprisoned, the abuse will continue nationwide. Some churches are enablers ya know.

  14. gwallan: You may be interested in the following study – Sentencing of Male and Female Child Sex Offenders: Australian Study

    Research suggests that, in line with the chivalry hypothesis of female offending, a range of mitigatory factors such as mental health problems, substance abuse, and personal experiences of abuse are brought into play when women who offend against children are brought to trial. This is reflected in sentencing comments made by judges and in the sanctions imposed on the offenders, and as a result female offenders are treated differently to male offenders. The current study investigated this in an Australian context. Seven cases of female-perpetrated child sexual abuse were identified over a 6-year period through the Austlii database. Seven cases of male-perpetrated child sex abuse matched as far as possible to these were identified. Court transcripts were then located, and sentencing comments and sanctions imposed were analysed. All offenders were sentenced to imprisonment, but in general the women were more likely than the men to receive less jail time and lower non-parole periods because their personal backgrounds or situation at the time of the offending (i.e., difficulties with intimate relationship, male dependence issues, depression, loneliness and anger) were perceived as worthy of sympathy, and they were considered as likely to be rehabilitated. Further investigations are needed to support these findings.


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  17. We are counting only the instances of abuse by a woman where she had a sexual relationship with the boy.

    We are all totally ignoring the cases where females covertly abuse boys.

    Majority of men today would recall at least few instances in their child hood when either they themselves or their brothers or other boys were abused by girls and women using certain clever tricks like “changing dress” or “bathing” or “taking care” etc etc

    Women and Girls use chances like bathing to undress a boy fully and thoroughly abuse him under the disguise of bathing him. It looks “just normal” when they do this but that is what is their cover too.

    Almost every boy is touched or bathed by a female – other than his mom – but it never gets reported because

    – the boy does not realise that he is being abused at that age

    – abuses are done by females under the cover of “taking care” or “bathing” which looks normal

    – even if a boy complains that he was not comfortable that some girl undressed and touched him all over, it will not be even be considered by anyone, because any way a boy should be fully touched and washed while bathing and it is no “big deal”

    – when this happens the boy tries to keep quiet as there is no use complaining and the girl becomes all the more confident and repeats the abuse without any fear

    If we include such instances also, I am sure females will be as bad as males when it comes to child sexual abuse.

  18. I fully agree that men form a significantly higher % of offenders when it comes to any crime including child abuse. Talking about female offenders in no way tends to support or shield male offenders. When a crime is committed,- say a murder – we should not generally see whether the criminal is male or female. In the same way, when child sexual abuse is done by a female or male, it should be viewed the same way.
    Though large % of Child abusers are male offenders, the fact remains that there are many female perpetrators too in the society who also abuse children– which we have resistance to accept.

    Let me take just few lines simply cut out from certain research papers or articles on this subject

    An initial barrier to recognizing and hence reporting abuse by females is confusion regarding
    what constitutes sexually abusive behavior. Given that women are permitted a much greater range
    of physical contact with children than are men, the boundary that would indicate a shift from
    non-abusive to abusive behavior is much more difficult to discern (Goodwin & DiVasto, 1982). A
    related argument is that their traditional role as caretakers affords women the opportunity to easily
    hide or mask abusive behavior (James & Nasjleti, 1983). Thus women may make inappropriate
    sexual contact through activities such as bathing or dressing a child (Groth, 1979) or may sleep with
    or caress a child in sexual ways, all which are unlikely to be reported (Justice & Justice, 1979).

    Where sexual abuse is more overt, under-reporting may also occur due to the greater taboo that
    surrounds female perpetration. It has been asserted that disclosure is less likely if individuals
    believe the experience is extraordinary in any way (Courtois, 1988) or believe that they will not be
    taken seriously (Saradjian, 1996) A tendency for adult survivors and victims to disclose female
    abuse later rather than earlier in therapy, and after disclosure of abuse by males, has also been noted
    (Sgroi & Sargent, 1993). Furthermore clinical reports indicate a tendency for disclosure to occur
    only after a trusting therapeutic relationship has been established

    What is suggested here is the operation of a powerful taboo against disclosure, the implication
    being that retrospective surveys in which individuals are expected to summarily share painful and
    shameful experiences may be an inadequate method of accessing this information. As a result, the
    low rates such studies have yielded may be misleading. Indeed, Allen (1990) highlights as
    essentially problematic the practice of assuming that female child sexual abuse is rare simply
    because reported rates are low and references in the literature are few. In direct contrast,
    information obtained in other contexts suggest much higher rates of female-perpetrated sexual

    Reasons why we tend to think or statistics how that females form a very small % is not because there are only few offenders but because

    – Women abuse the boys in a very covert ways like bathing, cuddling, fondling, sleeping with etc
    – Since they abuse the boys under the cover of some other “caring” activities like bathing, the abusive fondling, caressing etc that they do “becomes part” of “bathing” though it is in fact abuse.
    – In most of those such covert female abuse, the victim does not realize that he is being abused when it happens. In an overwhelming majority of cases, the victim realizes that he was abused only when he becomes an adult – much later in his life. Like Dheeraj or Ajay here. By then it is too late to talk about.
    – Even if the victim reports it, no one takes it seriously and hence the victim gets no support from the society.

    All these factors indicate that there are female abusers and the instances involving them are highly under reported.

    I know a case where a boy was abused by his aunt when he was young while bathing. Now he has grown up but still has to respect his aunt whom he does not like at all.

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