You’re Not Helping v.22

Buzzfeed is currently running a list of the “Top 21 Viral Memes About Boys! A Must Read For Anyone Raising One.

As one can imagine, it is nothing more than the typical feminist tract about how horribly sexist men and boys are. I really wish feminists would stop trying to “help” men and boys. When feminists try to “help”, it ends up looking more like kicking a person while they are down. Let us go down the list:

Question: if it would destroy a 12-year-old girl to be called a boy, what are we teaching her about boys? I ask only because I do not know any girl who wants to be called a boy. For that matter, I doubt few women want to be called men. It is typical of both sexes to not want to be called the opposite sex.

Question: where is the homophobia? The last time I checked, gay man does not equal being female. Two: is it okay to call the athletes boys as an insult? I ask only because it is just as common as calling them girls.

Question: does no one refer to shy, creative, sensitive, and intellectual boys as all-boy? Better yet, are we to assume that rowdy, athletic boys are not also shy, creative, sensitive and intellectual?

It would help if the guy complaining about that argument did not resort it to himself.

Question: can you give an example of an actual, preferably well-known feminist who makes that argument? I ask only because the one prominent feminist mentioned above seems to think that unless men are taught to behave otherwise, they will become a bunch of brutish women abusers who will have their violence supported and encouraged by a misogynistic society.

Just so we are clear: it is wrong to control your emotions, wrong to control your fear, wrong not to show weakness, wrong to demonstrate power and control, wrong to think aggression equals dominance even though that is the feminist position on aggression, wrong to be a protector, wrong to be heterosexual, wrong to not act like a ridiculous stereotype, wrong to be tough, athletic, strong, or courageous, wrong to think that you should be able to make decisions without other people’s help, and wrong to express your sexual attraction towards women? Really?

Question: what about the men? Seriously, what about men and boys? Do we not also need to teach boys to respect other males or are females the only ones deserving of respect?

Question: and when we see little girls doing the same thing, should we step in?

Question: the only thing that tests my manhood is how I treat women? So if I treat other males like garbage, I am still a man? If I torture animals, I am still a man? If I destroy the environment, I am still a man?

It would help the argument if these were not the images of men that women and girls apparently prefer and seek out.

Perhaps, but unless you are a sexy vampire or werewolf or a beast with a tiny scar over your eye, no one cares.

Funny how the caption for this read “They Can Enjoy Pink And Sparkling Things…” Here is a tip: most kids do not care about this kind of stuff. Only adults do, and as many kids can attest, adults can be stupid-faced asshats, like when they jump to conclusions about a kid wearing shoeing because they are “pink and sparkling,” not because he thought they were “made out of zebras.”

No one. But you must admit it is rather odd for 40-year-old men or women to be obsessed with a TV show made for five-year-old girls.

How ironic that Peter Pan was able to do in two words what has taken the author of the list fourteen pictures to fail to explain.

Yes, because every child plays with toys the exact same way, and there is no way that a boy might feed the baby doll and then have it “poop” on his other toys as the “monster” baby that destroys the city.

Question: who said that singing and dancing was not masculine? Or where they talking about a specific type of singing and dancing. I ask only because I am pretty sure most people think this guy is rather masculine.

Funny how what Anne Hathway said has nothing at all to do with “[Their] Interests [Saying] Nothing About Their Sexuality Or Gender Expression.”

Yes, he is. However, no one says that men cannot be pretty. It is simply that only certain men and boys are considered pretty. Like muscle-bound blond men who take their shirts off so they can be eye-candy for women.

Question: are most boys blind? I ask only because it seems like most humans can see well enough, and they interact with enough other people to realize that half of them are not male.

How ironic that the author chose an image of poor, dark-skinned Indian boys, a group most likely to experience a great deal of disempowerment and disrespect.

The caption reads “And One Day Soon We Will Be Using The Expression “Boys Will Be Boys” To Describe This,” which comes across as implying boys will be boys when they do what girls do.

That is, of course, an excellent message to send boys. The way you are now sucks. Only when you do what women want you to do will you have any quality or worth because there is nothing inherently good about boys and men. Only women have the good qualities.

Nicely done. That kind of message will certainly pick up their self-esteem.

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23 thoughts on “You’re Not Helping v.22

  1. “Question: can you give an example of an actual, preferably well-known feminist who makes that argument?”

    The cartoon is an example of the way that feminists see themselves: as eminently moderate, reasonable and intelligent while the entire society around them is sick and stupid. And terribly ignorant of what feminism is.

    In reality, our ‘moderate, reasonable feminist’ who only wants ‘equality’ nonetheless sees rape as a crime that society encourages (unsubstantiated), that gender is a social construct (a faith-based claim she will never feel the need to actually prove), that women are underpaid due to discrimination (a statement which is vacant of economics, econometrics, how businesses function and critical thinking) and that a vast conspiracy called ‘Patriarchy’ controls every facet of human life. You won’t see that stuff in the cartoon, of course. It’s only meant for those who’ve already drunk the Kool Aid.

  2. 1. I think the point of this one was that being called a boy/being a tomboy has mostly positive implications, whereas being called a girl/being a tomgirl has only negative ones. True, the vast majority of girls don’t want to be called boys and vice versa…but saying “my daughter throws like a boy” has a much different connotation than saying “my son throws like a girl”.

    2. I agree; where is the homophobia? Also, no it is not okay to call grown adult men “boys”, just as it’s not okay to call grown adult women “girls”.

    3. Most of the time, no. I’ve only ever heard the term “all-boy” used when referring to boys who are on numerous sports teams, are rough and tumble, are loud and talk over their younger siblings, or are into cars/dirtbikes/dune buggies. I’ve never heard it used to describe boys who are shy/intellectual/bookworms or a combination of the two types. I’d like this to change though…

    4. I agree.

    5. No, I can’t.

    6. Nothing on this list is wrong to do, other than the last one. Viewing women as property or objects to own is *not* the same as expressing your affection or attraction towards them.

    7. Everyone is worthy of respect. Women should not get preferential treatment.

    8. Yes, we should.

    9. I agree. This one is just stupid.

    10. I agree, but think it needs to change. I applaud the message of the poster, even though the photos on it belay their point.
    11. Hagrid is a far better role model than the two teens pictured aboe him. I’d rather be friends with/date someone like that before those two Twilight characters.

    12. I agree.

    13. I agree.

    14. I agree.

    15. Agree, but not quite sure what your point is. I just think toys are for everyone, and shouldn’t have labels of gender on them.

    16. I agree.

    17. Not sure what you’re getting at.

    18. Don’t like Thor, Loki is much more realistic looking and attractive in my opinion. Then again, I also think Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold from Once Upon ATime is far better looking than the “pretty boys” they have in the show.

    19. I agree.

    20. Here’s an idea: Teach children to be respectful to everyone, not just certain groups.

    21. I get that you want boys to learn that being nurturing is good, but that shouldn’t come at the cost of forcing them into gender roles they don’t want. Same with girls who enjoy female gender roles…they’re not for me, but I’m not so arrogant as claim they’re wrong for girls who are actually fine being girls.

    If this list was meant for men, or women who care about men, it basically failed.

  3. “The cartoon is an example of the way that feminists see themselves”

    A real feminist who believed that way would probably have bomb threats made to her by other feminists, like Erin Pizzey.

  4. The Good Men Project showcased some of these memes. Of them all, I focused on the one about teaching boys to respect women then put a response asking about when are we going to get women or girls to do the same and not allow them a free pass to hurt, belittle, or treat them like trash.

    Unsurprisingly, my comment was deleted.

    God I can be so naive about them at times.

  5. About the first one I’d rather ask “If it would destroy a 12 year old boy to be called a girl what then are we teaching him about himself and other boys?” Simple we are teaching him that in order to be considered a boys he must exist within an extremely narrow band of acceptable activity.

    The My Little Pony one makes me wonder though.

  6. Hit the Post button too soon.

    The My Little Pony thing makes sense to me. From what little I’ve seen of MLP there are action sequences in it which is probably what draws them to it. But to look at it another way.

    I was almost 15 when Powerpuff Girls started on Cartoon Network and I watched it and no one batted an eye. These days shows like Adventure Time and Regular Show have huge following among adults yet its aimed at kids.

  7. I’m pregnant with my first son, and the pressure from other moms and society at large to feminize him is strong. Moms are now expected to go out of their way to make sure their boys are allowed to play with girl toys, are offered girl clothes, and encouraged to have feminine interests such as princesses and ponies. Today’s moms now need to prove that they’re open-minded and gender-blind enough to be accepted by the other liberal-leaning, feminist moms. It’s now considered offensive to let your boy be a boy with natural masculine interests and traits. Take a look at any of the parenting magazines – they’re always talking about ways to be more gender-neutral and why you should paint your boy’s nails and take him to get pedicures, etc. Ridiculous.

  8. @charlotte

    Without masculine energy how could society survive adversity and challenges? It the addition of the male that enabled us to be the higher creature we are today if one is to follow evolutionary theory.

    Very quickly and easily did the female-only species and hermaphrodites be overrun with species that are both male and female.

  9. @charlotte @infowarrior1

    The part I don’t understand that you folks in the US and similar places somehow let liberals, who are an _elite_ culture by definition, dictate your _general, popular_ culture?

    I mean this stuff about not letting boys be boys might somehow make sense when dad is a professor and mom is a fashion designer, or at least if both have a university degree, but why on Earth do common everyday people say plumbers and hairdressers follow this elite?

    I mean we have this kind of liberal elites in Hungary but the common everyday people do not imitate them, they say “you folks who have these lucky lives are totally out of touch with the rest of us”.

  10. Tarnished:

    17. Not sure what you’re getting at.

    My point is that it depends on the type of singing and dancing a man does that prompts questions about his masculinity. Theater is culturally associated with gay men, so the assumption is that any man interested in theater must be gay. However, if that same man simply sang and danced, people would not question his masculinity as much.

  11. Charlotte, I have found that all the attempts to make boys be androgynous tend to fail. Boys will act however their general personality prompts them to. If your son is interested in playing with dolls, you will know it because he will ask for them or play with them on his own. But you should also watch how he plays with them. He might be more interested because of their size and accessories, not because he wants to play dress up. My godson played with his sister’s old Barbies and used them as female characters from Bleach and Naruto. He had no interest in them otherwise, although he did eventually have to comb their hair because it would get tangled in other toys.

    Likewise, he painted his nails blue because of characters from Naruto did that. He again had no interest in doing anything considered feminine. He just wanted to look like Uchiha Itachi. The same with growing his hair long. He wanted to look like Kuchiki Byakuya from Bleach (the character has long hair).

    Far too often people jump to conclusions about boys’ intentions, and instead of letting boys be who they are, people try to control them to meet their political interests. On the plus side, most kids shatter those attempts very quickly. Eventually the kid shows their own personality, and parents just have to deal with it.

  12. I was almost 15 when Powerpuff Girls started on Cartoon Network and I watched it and no one batted an eye. These days shows like Adventure Time and Regular Show have huge following among adults yet its aimed at kids.

    I watched Powerpuff Girls, too. I was about 14 when they debuted. I am not saying there is anything wrong with adults watching shows for children. I cannot say that when I watch the Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers. However, My Little Pony is geared to a very young audience, and the male fan response involves a Star Wars-level obsession. That is just odd. Like when adult women fawned over 15-year-old Justin Bieber.

  13. Feminism is all about ‘fixing’ men because we’re supposedly not good the way we are–that is, we’re not the way feminists want us to be.

    Fuck that. And THAT’s the message that men and boys need to hear.

  14. It’s just a testament to the quality writing of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic that there are so many bronies and pegasisters drawn to it among the five-year-old mostly girls that it’s primarily aimed at. Odd? Certainly. But the oddity lies not within the psyche of the adult fans, but at the fact that a little kid show wasn’t horribly phoned in like they tend to be. And marketing attention is paid to this secondary demographic, to the point of it no longer being merely incidental.

    Whenever I set aside time to watch it, though, I always find something else to do… Curse you, Pokémon, Animal Crossing, Mass Effect and Halo!

    But the main body of the article is just carrot and stick. “We’ll respect you if you shut up and get back in your cage” I can hear Admiral Ackbar screaming from all the way over here, in our Milky Way galaxy. That’s a lotta light years. Disrespect is why people (mainly straight men, but mostly men in general – and also women who don’t toe the party line (are trans* and not staunchly feminist or being used as cheap labour by feminist bureaucrats and whistleblowing on the fact.)) are leaving their cages in the first place!

  15. “However, My Little Pony is geared to a very young audience, and the male fan response involves a Star Wars-level obsession. ”

    I’ve watched quite a bit of it. If it’s aimed at anything younger than 12-year olds I’ll eat my hat.

    Plus there’s a subtext that’s even more mature than that.

  16. I’m so sick of the “most insulting thing to call a boy is a girl” meme. Yeah, it might be true, but so what? How many girls and women like to be complimented on their manly physique? How many of them would take “rugged” as a compliment?

    How dare someone take you calling them something they aren’t as an insult.

    And I’m also sick of this compulsive need to force boys to like girly things. If your son wants to play with dolls, I’m all for that… but don’t put him in a dress just so you can look progressive. It’s like that kid who recently had to “come out” as straight to his mother.

  17. Typhon, I am sure there is a lot of subtext in the show because the writers are adults. They also know that they have a large adult audience. I suspect they add in more adult subtext as a result. The same thing was true of the cartoons I grew up with. When I watched them again as an adult, I spotted all sorts of mature content that a 7-year-old would never catch.

  18. Paul: And I’m also sick of this compulsive need to force boys to like girly things.

    I saw on the news a few years back some smug, self-satisfied ‘progressive’ parents wouldn’t tell their kid what sex it was and they were all coy about the ‘mystery.’ (There was no mystery. It was obviously a boy who was flouncing around in a pink dress. A girl in overalls wouldn’t make the news.) The parents were all like “We don’t want to force an identity onto the child.”

    But then the news asked if they forbade any kinds of things and they said “yes, we forbid the hypermasculine stuff.”

    Ahh, so that’s their game: claim the child is free to choose his own identity while designating one end of the spectrum to be bad.

    But if they want to turn their house into a suicide factory, I suppose that’s their right. Who am I to judge?

    And let’s say the family’s experiment was a success? The kid grows-up to wear dresses and make-up and use women’s bathrooms. That’s a win?

  19. i’m going to disagree with you on the MLP:FIM thing. It’s no surprise that geeks who like fantasy would watch it (unicorns, pegasus, minotaurs, griffins, etc). as a cartoon fan i give everything that isn’t anime a chance. season 1 is well-written & that is what hooked early adopters. the 2nd season & after has even more nods for adult viewers, which is what encouraged the obsession & made it spread in popularity. yes, i’m a brony.

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