Why are there no refuges for male victims of domestic violence?

Originally posted on July 7, 2014

Accord to a 2005 study, 15% of women and 6% of men in Ireland suffer some form of domestic violence. Yet none of the shelters in the country provide beds for men:

“There is not one bed for men suffering from domestic violence,” said Niamh Farrell of AMEN, the only domestic violence resource in Ireland for men.

“If there is no bed for men there is no bed for the children [with the men],” she said, explaining that fathers or guardians may not want to leave their children in the domestic situation.

“You can encourage them to look for help but in terms of housing, we can’t do anything to help them with that because there is no refuge.”

This is ridiculous. Abused men face the same problems as abused women. They need to find a safe place for themselves and sometimes their children. If no one provides them with safe housing, many abused men end up in homeless shelters and on the streets. This proves risky because some shelters will not accept men with children, and obviously living on the streets with a child is a poor option. That leaves two options: remain in the abusive situation or leave the situation yourself, but leave the children with the abuser.

Both are untenable, yet little is done to help abused men seeking shelter. Many abused men assume that they have access to equal services:

“[They] will ring and assume that there are the same services for men and women, they ask ‘where do I go?’, ‘but there’s one for women, there should be one for men’. They just think there should be same services for men as there are for woman.”

There should be. There is no excuse for not providing men with the same support given to women. The argument that women are in greater need of help falls flat. The majority of victims of violence are male, yet no hospital turns away women because they see more men.

This is not how one runs a support service. One should provide access for everyone because one never knows when it is needed. It is particularly important in this situation because so few abused men come forward. Perhaps we will find that there are more abused men than we think if we open the doors to them.

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10 thoughts on “Why are there no refuges for male victims of domestic violence?

  1. Pingback: Why are there no refuges for male victims of domestic violence? | Manosphere.com

  2. In 2009 9 men were resident at the few shelters in Norray which also provided beds for men. In 2010 all shelters (at least those who received public funding) were obligated by law to provide services to men as well. After that we we saw a sharp increase in numbers of male residents at shelters. In 2012 there were 117 men (24% percent of these also brought children – 39 children in total) – triple the number of residents in 2010 (39). These 117 men had 129 stays (so some of them sought shelter more than once) and spent a total of 4,664 nights. Each stay averaging 36 nights, which is longer than the overall average stay fror all residents (men and women) at 30 nights.

    In addition 220 men used the shelters’ day-time services.

    Spokespersons from the shelter’s umbrella organisation have stated that they think this is just the tip of the iceberg and that we’ll continue to see a sharp increase in men seeking help from shelters.

  3. There are no shelters because men are thought of as second class citizens. Feminist will do everything in their power to keep it this way.
    @Tamen Thats an interesting comment.

  4. I am looking for a few studies I think you can help me find. I am looking for the study that found women rape each other more than men in US prisons. I am also looking for the studies about high levels of sexual abuse by female guards.

  5. The Growing Pandemic Of White Female Abuse Of Minority Males In Relationships In America

    There is a growing trend in the United States since approximately 1994 with the enactment of the Violence Against Womens Act (“VAWA”) which has seen a dramatic increase in domestic violence, abuse, harassment and other forms of relationship criminal activity perpetrated by white female abusers against minority males in relationships.

    White women, and women in general, have felt empowered by the VAWA laws that suspend the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 13th and 14th Amendments to the US Constitution in that an arrest becomes mandatory in a domestic disturbance even when there is no evidence, and have often taken out their aggression against minority males in relationships, because they (rightly) perceive that society as a whole, the courts, their families and friends, and law enforcement will most often see them as the victims of abuse, simply because they are dating a minority male, and their families will also often aggressively take their side when it comes to domestic disturbances, often quickly healing years of family dysfunction, even when there is ample proof that those white females were the originators, instigators, and provocateurs of that domestic abuse (often times these women’s psychoses were actually brought on and exacerbated by years of their own family dysfunction).

    It is very commonly reported that those white females, during their relationships with minority males, will often lambast and humiliate minority males in their relationships, calling them names such as “nigger,” or “terrorist,” or “spic,” or whatever racial epithet comes to mind, while often making threats to that minority male that “no one will believe you” and “I can do whatever I want to you.”

    It is a well known fact that often times bullying or psychopathic females will flock to relationships where they enjoy the upper hand, or the superior bargaining position, and will often view or state that these minority males are “lucky to have them in the first place” because of society’s warped and unequal view of race relations in America.

    Therefore those sociopathic bullying females will often wreak absolute hell on their minority male partners in the relationship, often dishing out daily abuse, violence, threats, harassment, stalking, bullying, cheating, deceit, extortion, and blackmail, and will more than often, completely get away with it.

    Often times law enforcement will ignore the cries of help and complaints filed by these minority males completely, until the white female abuser actually calls for help.

    If those white females feel that they have had enough, they simply call 911 and will be greeted by a throng of beefy white male police officers and detectives, who in addition to siding with the white female because she is a female, and relish the feeling of being the “white knight” or “man with the white hat” hero, will often mete out harsh justice and aggression to the minority male, in anger and rage that he dared to date “one of their own” in the first place.

    The result is a perfect storm – and a dangerous storm for the minority male.

    He will quickly see his world fall apart not only as a male falsely accused of domestic violence, but will also experience state-sanctioned racism and discrimination from the beginning, completely without any human/civil/constitutional rights, all the way into the criminal, family, and civil courts.

    This is a hopelessly sad situation, but unfortunately has further ruined and eroded race relations in America, and helps to keep fear alive, and the different races separated in America for fear of the double-whammy that male minorities are subjected to, once embroiled and wrapped up in a situation such as the above.

  6. Lynne, while I am sure there are white women who abuse minority men, I doubt the situation is as common or drastic as you describe. That sort of conspiratorial thinking helps no one, although it does give good fodder for feminists looking to discredit any attempt to discuss men’s issues.

  7. Pingback: A Dose of Stupid v118 | Toy Soldiers

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