The price of fear mongering about sex

It is one thing to want to protect people from sexual violence. Sexual abuse is a horrible thing. Even when it appears that someone suffered little physical harm, the psychological damage can devastate a person. It is not merely the violation of one’s body or the way that one’s body may respond to the assault, but also the betrayal of trust. Sexual abuse typically happens at the hands of someone a person knows well. The idea that someone you consider safe would hurt you is a thought most people would rather not imagine.

It is also one thing to make people so terrified of sexual violence that they see every one around them as potential abusers. It takes little effort to take a series of cherry-picked statistics and use them to fear monger. This mentality is particularly popular among progressive groups, who have taken to proclaiming that college campuses are bastions of rape. This argument leads people to believe that a rapist lurks in every crevice, and it is understandable that a person who thinks this way would avoid sex.

It is another thing altogether make someone so afraid of being accused of being a rapist that they would forswear dating and sex altogether. Yet this is what one young man decided to do:

David Sherratt doesn’t want a girlfriend. He doesn’t ever want one. At 18 years old he has given up hope on womankind.

“It’s not for me,” the teenager said.

“I could be missing out on something but I could also be putting myself in danger.”

Sherratt specifically fears this:

David, who is a virgin, is worried he could be accused of rape if he has casual sex.

“There is the risk of false accusation, especially given that I am a political target, given I’m a men’s rights advocate and people know who I am,” he said.

and:

He worries about a so-called ‘yes means yes’ law coming to the UK.

“There are women fighting for a yes means yes law,” he said.

“That would mean a man would have to prove consent. How exactly do you prove that happened?

His prior roommates did not support his views and Sherratt later moved out as a result. His new roommates, according to him, do not care about his views, yet Sherratt remains isolated:

“I’m not particularly social and do not go out often,” David said.

“Most of my friends are on line. I just speak to them in my room where it is safe and nothing can happen.”

I realize how tempting it is to mock this young man. He has not experienced enough life to really be in a position to need to make such a choice.

Yet all I can think is how sad. How sad that we have created a culture where someone so young is this afraid. Sherratt may not represent most young men his age, however, there are many who share his opinions. How sad that we put them in a situation where they do not even want to try to have a relationship.

Granted, one could argue this is an excellent way of preventing rape. Many of those pushing consent laws would look at young men like Sherratt as potential rapists. These are the very men they think need to be taught not to rape. What better way of dealing with them than making them so frightened of an accusation that they want to remain virgins?

And before anyone accuses these men of overreacting, keep in mind that they are living in a culture that threatens 9-year-old boys with sexual harassment charges for sending love notes. This is the same culture that harassed a college student for having the temerity to say he is not a rapist and does not need to be taught not to rape.

Who would want to date in that kind of environment?

Sherratt’s decision makes sense considering the appearance of the situation, however, there is a flaw in his position: everyone is not a politically-correct, social justice warrior obsessed with sexual violence, racism, and micro-aggressions who begs for safe spaces where no one can question their opinions.

There are plenty of women who would never think to lie about rape. There is no reason for Sherratt or the young men like him to isolate themselves from society. Avoiding the “social justice” crowd generally suffices in getting around this level of insanity.

What makes Sherratt’s decision so horrible is that it is as if he is punishing himself for someone else’s perceptions of who he is as a person. He plays into the progressives’ hands in that regard. He gives them the validation they want.

They want him to be afraid. They want him to fear women. They want him to be isolated. They want this because anyone who stays in that space long enough will be begin to actually hate the other side, and that is the ultimate goal.

The progressives pushing this agenda lack a true adversary. They do not have a tangible, sizable group to point at as their scapegoat. Men going their own way and men’s rights activists do not suffice. Yet if these progressives frighten enough young men into fearing and possibly hating women, they will have exactly what they want.

This is not to say Sherratt does not have a point. Again, it is hard to argue his reaction is wholly bad when love notes can result in criminal charges. This is only to say that the best way of countering this nonsense is by seeking out the relationships you want. Prove the progressives wrong rather than feed their false narrative.

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17 thoughts on “The price of fear mongering about sex

  1. http://freedompowerandwealth.com

    There are very different forms of prudery. Most people only detect the traditional ones (we all know what they are). But under the cover of “violence”, “STDs” and the like there are the modern prudes, who are scared to death by their own sexuality and therefore think other people’s sexuality is dangerous too. So they want to regulate other’s sex-life.

  2. If this young man can afford a passport and a one-way plane ticket, he can leave the United States of Puritanica for a saner country. Just about any other country would appear sane by comparison.

    I realize that there is a class justice issue here: most Yankees cannot afford passports and plane tickets. But in the case of this young man, it’s not too late for him to build a life elsewhere.

  3. Sherratt’s decision makes sense considering the appearance of the situation, however, there is a flaw in his position: everyone is not a politically-correct, social justice warrior obsessed with sexual violence, racism, and micro-aggressions who begs for safe spaces where no one can question their opinions.

    True. Not everyone is. But as a MGTOW supporter, I’ve seen too many stories to condemn his decision to remain a virgin. I actually think that, given the misandric practices being allowed to pass in more than a handful of colleges, it *would* be safer for him to wait until after graduation to begin dating or having sex. I wish it wasn’t. I wish I could provide comfortable, pretty words of hope and tell Sherratt and others like him that they have a point but are being extremist. Sadly, I do not believe they are. I think they are just doing whatever they can to remain safe in a sexist environment.

    There are plenty of women who would never think to lie about rape. There is no reason for Sherratt or the young men like him to isolate themselves from society.

    Of course there are. I would never do so, and I know others who never would because it is obviously an incredibly immoral thing to do. But if you’ve been around the manosphere at all, you know there are those who believe AWALT (all women are like that). That anyone with a vagina is necessarily, by virtue of their very chromosomes, prone to doing anything and everything to get what they want. Sherratt doesn’t seem to believe this, which is good because it is false, but he does believe EWALT (enough women are like that) which is unfortunately closer to the truth.

    Avoiding the “social justice” crowd generally suffices in getting around this level of insanity.

    But how exactly does one tell if someone is an SJW to absolute certainty? Not everyone advertises it so openly. I’ve been surprised to learn some of my customers were, when they reacted quite venomously to a few of my non-feminist opinions.

  4. “There are plenty of women who would never think to lie about rape. ”

    They don’t have think of lies themselves. There are plenty of feminist “safe spaces” full of people who will put thoughts into their heads. And, I am just amazed and how quickly these thoughts take root against all other reality, history and evidence. And the consequent destruction. Women seem to be really prone to this given their “hive mind”, social bonding feelings over fact natures. Sorry but it looks this way. Enough women, social workers and yes, feminist men have accused me of being the next potential rapist, batterer or some such thing that it just foolish to trust them very far. ABR and all that.

    I read recently that Open Table reports “one” is the fastest growing table size for restaurant reservations, trying to put a happy face on it.

    I just was reading how in old East Germany some 30% of the population was informing on others to the secret police, any gathering of 3 people 1 of them likely was an informer, women routinely informing on their husbands, and vice versa.

    Trust is a tricky thing. And after the betrayal of sexual abuse, particularly so. This is the community, society you get when trust is lacking, undeserved and untrustworthy behaviour is celebrated.

  5. Enough women, social workers and yes, feminist men have accused me of being the next potential rapist, batterer or some such thing that it just foolish to trust them very far.

    Why did they volley such accusations of “Schrodinger’s rapist” at you, Allan?

  6. I still can’t figure this out. The very same people who are promoting consent laws, and who decry rape culture, also promote Slut Walk. I just don’t get how that all hangs together logically in their minds; the juxtaposition of these movements makes my head hurt

    Is the idea that all men are potential rapists, so lets provoke the sh*t out of them to see who puts their head above the parapet? Or is this just yet another declaration of war between the sexes?

    Although there is a seed of something logical buried deep within all of these movements (at least, it appears that way, but perhaps it’s merely ‘cover’ for their actual agenda), where they’ve taken them is way out beyond the boundaries of reality. With all of these aggressive, oppositional, and frankly crazy-making movements around, I can’t fault Sherratt for his position – even though I’m thoroughly saddened by it. But I can’t help but wonder what’s gone on personally in his life (abetted by these social movements through someone whispering things in his ear) to bring him to this position.

    I don’t think the solution is only to avoid SJWs btw (although avoiding SJWs is a requirement). There is a rather horrid expression for men “Don’t stick your d*ck in crazy”, which is vulgar but true, and also applies here. (The same concept applies the other way round, btw.) Crazy – more accurately, malevolent – doesn’t always hide itself as SJWs, but will swiftly join the SJW team when things start to line up to their disadvantage, or merely when the opportunity presents itself.

    But I urge Sherratt to fight against this – he’s responding in exactly the way they want him to respond, which only works to further their agenda. As are, let us not forget, the majority of young women who’ve been taken in by the snake-oil salesmen/cult leaders of the modern feminist movement. He’s been manipulated into this by people with an agenda. For reasons I’m still trying to come to terms with, they WANT men to hate and mistrust women, and they WANT women to hate and mistrust men. And they want, or so it seems to me, everyone to forget about children and families, altogether. They certainly want everyone to stop protecting children, seniors, and all other victims, that’s for sure.

    They also, I believe, want to turn everyone into SJWs, which Sherratt himself seems to be doing. Unfortunately.

    I can’t help but wonder if all of this is an effort by abusers (sexual and otherwise) to divide and conquer by setting all survivors of violence against each other, fighting for the scraps of attention and even justice that their various movements mete out on victims.

  7. I’m not entirely sure that it has occurred to this young man that there’s absolutely nothing stopping a woman from claiming rape without him ever having had sex with her.

    Dominic Scullion, Luke Harwood, the Duke Lacrosse players, Brian Banks – none of these men actually had sex with the women falsely accusing them of rape. This is also true for any number of other cases of (proven) false rape allegation.

    Go ahead and have as much sex as you’d like, mate. Abstaining is probably not protecting you much anyway, which I realise may be frightening to hear. Sorry.

  8. Women instinctively want to mate with aggressive, hypermasculine men who don’t care about the law. yes-means-yes legislation is a way of clearing the arena of all men who don’t fit that profile.
    Problem is, societies organized like this – he-men have five wives, most men have none – tend to be poor. The reason why is pretty obvious, once you ponder what wealth is and where it comes from.

  9. “Why did they volley such accusations of “Schrodinger’s rapist” at you, Allan?”

    How should I know? It’s baffling especially if you think you kind of know someone. It would appear just because I’m a convenient male to take a swipe at with their ideology, and to assert absolute superiority. You must know the script here. It really doesn’t work to ask them, discuss facts, my own victimization and insights into all that. They simple act very superior, and proceed like, … I couldn’t possibly begin to understand to horrible trials of being a woman in this culture. Privilege is blind. Much, much worse than anything any man has to endure, so… STFU. And maybe learn something you really NEED to learn.

    But kind of like someone who pulls a knife on you, I don’t try to find out what’s ailing them.

    Dalrock has an interesting post up about Pastor Abedini’s wife accusing him of abuse even though he has been in prison in Iran for over 3 years now. The Christian media is running with it as true without any question at all, ignoring that some of what she is saying cannot possible happen when the abuser is in prison in a far distant country. I might add that while I don’t at all share his religious traditionalism and perspective, I do find him really articulate and clear about what is changing and motivations in society. And how even conservatives are very largely caught up in defending feminism without really realizing it.

    Simply put, I do think Sherratt’s problem is getting to be a common one, and not easy to avoid or see coming for some of us. I don’t think just “avoid the SJW’s” is nearly good enough. It’s a corruption of the foundations for trust. The empathy and ties of accountability between people that are basic to society.

  10. How should I know? It’s baffling especially if you think you kind of know someone. It would appear just because I’m a convenient male to take a swipe at with their ideology, and to assert absolute superiority.
    Ah. I didn’t know if it was a case of you getting called into HR for the “heinous crime” of complimenting a woman’s dress or accidentally making an “offensive” joke while within earshot of someone with overwhelmingly delicate sensibilities.

    You must know the script here. It really doesn’t work to ask them, discuss facts, my own victimization and insights into all that. They simple act very superior, and proceed like, … I couldn’t possibly begin to understand to horrible trials of being a woman in this culture.
    Even if that were true about the “trials”, that argument is crudely assuming that you have no empathy towards other human beings. Saying someone is literally incapable of understanding another viewpoint is just an attempt to shut down meaningful conversation. I hate it when people do this, regardless of sex or topic.

    Privilege is blind.
    Which, if this were true, then by definition women, including feminist women, should be unable to see their own. Yet every time I bring this point up, I’m told that it’s simply not there. It’s like talking to someone who thinks circular reasoning is a valid form of debate.

    Much, much worse than anything any man has to endure, so… STFU. And maybe learn something you really NEED to learn.
    Other than a few sexist remarks and put downs by guys who don’t think women should have careers or can be gamers, I can’t think of anything negative in my life that has happened solely because I’m female. Everything else can and does affect males too. Sexism is harmful to everyone.

    But kind of like someone who pulls a knife on you, I don’t try to find out what’s ailing them.
    Fair.

    Dalrock has an interesting post up about Pastor Abedini’s wife accusing him of abuse even though he has been in prison in Iran for over 3 years now. The Christian media is running with it as true without any question at all, ignoring that some of what she is saying cannot possible happen when the abuser is in prison in a far distant country. I might add that while I don’t at all share his religious traditionalism and perspective, I do find him really articulate and clear about what is changing and motivations in society. And how even conservatives are very largely caught up in defending feminism without really realizing it.
    Yeah, we talked about this case over on Spawny’s Space a few days ago. Frickin surreal.

    Simply put, I do think Sherratt’s problem is getting to be a common one, and not easy to avoid or see coming for some of us. I don’t think just “avoid the SJW’s” is nearly good enough. It’s a corruption of the foundations for trust. The empathy and ties of accountability between people that are basic to society.
    Unfortunately, it’s really not good enough to just try and avoid people who you think are SJW…nearly anyone can be. Obviously this sounds paranoid, but what can be done currently? Our culture is becoming all about saving young adults from the real world, most especially women. Making a snide remark is no longer something that this generation of fragile flowers can shrug off…now they require hours of therapy for the trauma of having a disagreement. It’s just insane. Sadly, I believe Sherratt has come across the safest course of action, which is to be MGTOW.

  11. “a case of you getting called into HR …”

    No, I haven’t worked in corporate America for years, but I did for years, and my strict policy was to never make jokes, be humorous nor compliment a woman on something like her dress. Period. Ever. I felt I must seem rather humorless, which is not true. I love to play, and be silly and notice my less wholesome character when it appears, because just letting that happen and quickly noticing it I believe it effective in not letting it move into harmful actions. i.e. prejudices, stereotypes, “-isms”, etc. PC environments are utterly stifling, uncreative and unfun.

    “…that argument is crudely assuming that you have no empathy …”

    Far too logical. 🙂 Yes, now you are on to something here. I used to think if someone ever hurt me, I shouldn’t trust them again and then I learned how that’s an impossible standard. Rather, go to someone who has hurt you, and show them your hurt and just watch what happens. If they are concerned and attempt to repair, trust them. Everything is fine. If they get defensive, don’t “get it” and have other things to do… well, maybe your trust is misplaced. Maybe. Perhaps they just got fired. Or their dog died. Distracted. If it’s repeatedly this way, run don’t walk!

    As I put it, we have more and more of the politics of compassion, and less and less real compassion.

    “…when they reacted quite venomously to a few of my non-feminist opinions.”

    lol, that I’d like to see. Tarnished thanks for participating here. I don’t recall ever hearing such a thing. I must be in blue-pill hell!

  12. No, I haven’t worked in corporate America for years, but I did for years, and my strict policy was to never make jokes, be humorous nor compliment a woman on something like her dress. Period. Ever.
    That’s sad, friend. I sympathize with you having to do this. That’s complete BS that it’s necessary, but at least it kept you safe from random, idiotic accusations.

    I felt I must seem rather humorless, which is not true. I love to play, and be silly and notice my less wholesome character when it appears, because just letting that happen and quickly noticing it I believe it effective in not letting it move into harmful actions. i.e. prejudices, stereotypes, “-isms”, etc.
    That is a fantastic way to deal with things. Besides, being wholesome 24/7 is the best avenue to insanity, imo.

    PC environments are utterly stifling, uncreative and unfun.
    Agree 100%. It’s why I left the corporate world a decade ago and work at a gaming/comic shop.

    Far too logical. 🙂
    Guilty as charged.

    Yes, now you are on to something here. I used to think if someone ever hurt me, I shouldn’t trust them again and then I learned how that’s an impossible standard. Rather, go to someone who has hurt you, and show them your hurt and just watch what happens. If they are concerned and attempt to repair, trust them. Everything is fine. If they get defensive, don’t “get it” and have other things to do… well, maybe your trust is misplaced. Maybe. Perhaps they just got fired. Or their dog died. Distracted. If it’s repeatedly this way, run don’t walk!
    Precisely. Everyone is entitled to having a few bad days or being grumpy once in a while…we’re human, it happens, life sucks sometimes. But if you meet one of those “I don’t give a damn about anybody” (or worse, someone who is apathetic towards any needs but their own) types, get ’em out of your life and run away. Quickly.

    As I put it, we have more and more of the politics of compassion, and less and less real compassion.
    You need to give motivational talks.
    Seriously, man, it’s your calling.

    lol, that I’d like to see. Tarnished thanks for participating here. I don’t recall ever hearing such a thing.
    What, a non-feminist female-bodied person? We do exist, but are increasingly had to find. Like sasquatch, ufos, and honest politicians.

    I must be in blue-pill hell!
    Sorry, but I’m a bit dense when it comes to online humor/sarcasm at times…I am blonde, after all. 😉
    What do you mean “blue-pill hell”?
    (I know what the manosphere lingo means, but am not connecting the dots between blue vs red pill, and Hades… 😛 )

  13. Blue pill hell? I just mean liberal Minneapolis here where …idk…non-feminist comments gather an angry mob.

    Thanks for indulging me. Ranting on a soap box is more what I’d call it but if people would pay me for it… I guess, sure, I’d let them call it “motivational talks”, 🙂 No suit and tie though.

    Spawny’s Space, interesting. “Feminism is the common demonator…” lol, another quip to remember.

  14. Considering these fauxminist life forms have on occasion approved of male rape and sexual harassment of males as a teaching tool, they are unfit for purpose.

    As much use as the O-rings on the challenger space shuttle.

  15. “Blackshirt on November 24, 2015 at 4:02 pm said:
    I’m not entirely sure that it has occurred to this young man that there’s absolutely nothing stopping a woman from claiming rape without him ever having had sex with her”

    My understanding is that he isn’t just abstaining from sex- he’s abstaining from relationships with women altogether and basically hiding in his room. Probably for this very reason.

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