A message to feminists about “toxic masculinity” and mass tragedies

If you need to lead into a conversation about the recent Orlando shooting with a list of why you are not attacking men and masculinity as you proceed to blame men and masculinity for the shooting, there is a problem.

It took feminists only a few hours to start in on their “toxic masculinity” narrative after the shooting in Orlando. Now that they have had five days, feminists have written a series of articles blaming masculinity the shooting and the sexual assault by Brock Turner.

The most recent, Two violent men, two symptoms of the same sickness, offered this gem:

Sociologists are pattern seekers. This problem is bigger than Brock Turner and Omar Mateen. It’s Kevin James Loibl, who sought out and killed the singer Christina Grimmie the night before the massacre at Pulse. It’s James Wesley Howell, who was caught with explosives on his way to the Los Angeles Pride Parade later that morning. It’s the grotesque list of men who used guns to defend their sense of superiority that I collected and documented last summer.

The problem is men’s investment in masculinity itself. It offers rewards only because at least some people agree that it makes a person better than someone else. That sense of superiority is, arguably, why men like Turner feel entitled to violating an unconscious woman’s body and why ones like Mateen will defend it with murderous rampages, even if it means destroying themselves in the process. And unless something changes, there will be another sickening crisis to turn to, and another sinking sense of familiarity.

This must stop.

Every time a mass shooting or killing happens, which unfortunately happens all too often in the United States, feminists jump in and blame “toxic masculinity”. It does not matter if there is clear evidence the assailant suffered from mental illness, held a specific bias or hatred against the victims, suffered from anger problems, experienced bullying and abuse, or simply did not care about other people’s lives. No matter the situation or circumstance, feminists always have the same response: it was “toxic masculinity”.

No, it was not.

Brock Turner abused alcohol and targeted a woman who he may have had legitimate interest in and who may have initially consented to sex with him. When she passed out, Turner not only continued to engage in violent sexual activity with her, but also shoved pine needles into her vagina for some unknown reason. He had to be pulled off of her, and when he was he ran.

He had no sense of entitlement to women’s bodies nor did he express any privilege due to his family’s economic status and his race. He acted like an ass. How much of that was fueled by alcohol is unclear, yet that would not make any difference. He chose to drink, and if he drank to the point that he could not control himself, that too is his responsibility.

Omar Mateen grew up in a religion that reviles homosexuality. He grew up in a religion that holds sexist views about women. He was bullied following the September 11th attacks, and appeared to applaud the terrorist attack. By adulthood, Mateen openly sided with terrorists. This is despite being born and raised in the United States.

While he may have had the view that women are inferior, his targets were not women. They were gay people, overwhelmingly men. Mateen apparently visited gay clubs and used gay dating apps. He was closeted homosexual who could not express his sexual interests due to his religious and cultural background. His attitude and actions appear to stem from the combination of all those factors.

Neither Turner or Mateen represent all men, all white people, all Muslims, all Afghans, or all gay men.

Stop blaming men and masculinity for people behaving badly.

Men did not make these two assault or kill anyone. Turner and Mateen chose to act. They and they alone bear the responsibility for those actions.

But better yet, stop exploiting tragedies. Stop using something that has nothing to do with your bigoted ideology to peddle your misandrous narrative.

You do not like men. We understand that. Now let us move on and actually address the problems that led to these acts.

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18 thoughts on “A message to feminists about “toxic masculinity” and mass tragedies

  1. Perhaps he was one of the 1 in 6 men sexually abused as children. He was an age where those men have some of the worst emotional issues and no Men’s Shelters to go to for help.
    No one seems to make THAT speculation.

  2. Pingback: A message to feminists about “toxic masculinity” and mass tragedies – Manosphere.org

  3. Thank you revspinnaker! I’m glad I’m not the only one (as it almost always seems) with interest in that theory.

    Until there is interest in the causes, we will just suffer more from living with the terrible effects.

  4. Exactly. Women cackle and laugh and ask “what did he do?” about the man who was drugged, tied to a bed and sexually mutilated when he came to.
    The same question should have seriously been asked about Adam Lanza’s mother. What did she do to him that would have made her own son shoot her in the face four times while she slept. She divorced his dad and started giving him drugs to start with. Look up his pictures. He was a normal, healthy looking boy until she started him on drugs. All of her friends from the bar where she hung out could testify what “a handful” her supposedly autistic son was.
    Maybe hanging out in bars and teaching Adam to shoot guns had something to do with it too. Moms, like feminists, are socially unaccountable. And that’s the status quo.
    And don’t expect feminists to do it.

  5. “And don’t expect feminists to do it.”

    I don’t. But I also don’t think conservatives of whatever stripe (if “feminist” doesn’t completely include them as well) will either, although from a completely different mindset so it’s very hard to see both of these things.

  6. Christian women are some of the worst child abuse deniers and their men are afraid to stand up to them. Mention the fact that the Bible doesn’t consider child abuse a sin and they freak out.
    The in-group preference studies Karen Straughan has brought to our attention weigh heavily here. The stories in all of our ancient texts began with an oral tradition. And who does most of the talking? Who would be more likely to impart these stories on children? Who would be most likely to not mention maternal child abuse? Hmm…
    Kind of like those prohibition women never mentioned fetal alcohol syndrome…

  7. The idea that men have it so good in America that we would defend it with lethal violence is darkly hilarious. Today’s feminists are smoking the good stuff.

  8. “Christian women are some of the worst child abuse deniers and their men are afraid to stand up to them. ”

    The Blue Hair Mafia can always be counted on to rally around their religious rock star, regardless of the denomination. This is why when my father was raped by a priest in the 40s, he could turn to no one or say a word. It would have been social death, and at that age in that era, very likely physical death.

  9. You are exactly right. Priests had lost much of their social luster even before the abuse crisis. Prior to the 40’s, having a priest in the family was the ultimate in social status. I’ve read accounts of women knowingly handing boys over to be abused by priests.

  10. The vast majority of mass shootings are committed by men, and occasionally by boys. If we don’t call it toxic masculinity, then what do you propose?

  11. PM, are the males who commit these acts doing so specifically because they are male or masculine? If not, why should we tie their actions to their sex?

  12. PM, what do ALL mass shooters have in common? Suicidal ideation. Go ahead and Google “child abuse-suicidal tendencies” and see what you get. You’ll find pages about how child abuse effects brain development. One of the adverse effects is suicidal ideation. The kind of thing that motivates mass killers after enough tears ruminating about killing themselves.. Perhaps if we spoke more about toxic maternalism there’d be less crime of all kind.

  13. Rev, you are I are SO on the same page, but:

    As I like to point out, instead of preventing and mitigating child abuse, we can just live with the effects. Many things there but yes, suicide by mass shooting. Seems like something to avoid to me…but I think things will just continue to decline.

    I was part of Oprah’s 200 Men show, and I remember the show of hands about suicidal thoughts:

    “According to our informal poll, 81 percent of the men in the audience say they have contemplated suicide. Thirty-three percent of these men actually attempted to take their own lives, including Tyler. When he was just 11 years old, Tyler says he slit his own wrists. “It was all too much having to carry the shame of it, not being able to talk about it,”

    I really think nothing has improved on child abuse awareness in 50 years.

  14. The idea that men have it so good in America that we would defend it with lethal violence is darkly hilarious. Today’s feminists are smoking the good stuff.

    Especially since Omar was a Middle-Eastern Muslim, which supposedly makes him an oppressed racial minority.

    The vast majority of mass shootings are committed by men, and occasionally by boys. If we don’t call it toxic masculinity, then what do you propose?

    Committed by men and boys for a variety of different motives.

  15. Hey all, thanks for the replies and sorry for the hiatus.

    TS: “PM, are the males who commit these acts doing so specifically because they are male or masculine? If not, why should we tie their actions to their sex?”

    Great question. It is a pattern, just like Christian terrorism or Muslim terrorism. I think that patterns should be named, even when motivations aren’t the same. I admit that their ideologies often differ – for example, Elliot Rodger and George Sodini killed because of misogyny and directly reference it, but Omar Mateen gave no such indication, and, in fact, was targeting men. Or the Columbine killers, who wanted to kill jocks, preppies, and almost anyone else. I do believe that men are socialized to be the “violent” gender (at least where I am, the America South), and that we inflict violence and suffer violence accordingly. I will acknowledge that women can be just as violent, and often are (the mass shooting phenomenon notwithstanding).

    revspinnaker: “PM, what do ALL mass shooters have in common? Suicidal ideation. Go ahead and Google “child abuse-suicidal tendencies” and see what you get. You’ll find pages about how child abuse effects brain development. One of the adverse effects is suicidal ideation. The kind of thing that motivates mass killers after enough tears ruminating about killing themselves.. Perhaps if we spoke more about toxic maternalism there’d be less crime of all kind.”

    Women are more likely to attempt suicide than men, although men die by suicide more due to more lethal methods used. Therefore, I reject suicidal ideation as the culprit for the gendered pattern. The fact that men are more likely to be acquainted with and adept at firearm usage may well be a factor.

    SYABM: “Committed by men and boys for a variety of different motives.”

    Agreed, but I believe that the gendered nature of the phenomenon should be named. If not “toxic masculinity,” then what?

  16. You are looking for patterns, that’s the only one I see. I meant to say “years” of ruminating about killing themselves. It’s the same with suicide bombers. You may rightfully want to blame religion, but I suggest those who become bombers were suicidal TO BEGIN WITH. For that matter “mass shooters” “kamikazes” and “suicide bombers” all share that same trait.
    I hear feminists say they have been “working on that high male suicide rate thing,” like the true girlfriends they are. And with no results, as would be expected.

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