You’re Not Helping v.28

Several years ago, I wrote about my impression of the subreddit /r/MensLib. It is a pro-feminist space for men created as a counter to /r/MensRights. As such, MensLib views men’s issues through a progressive and feminist lens. Non-feminists and non-progressives are allowed to participate as long as they do not question feminist or progressive theories.

As I mentioned in my initial post, it did not take long for MensLib to devolve into the usual heavy moderation, comment deletion, bannings, and anti-male sentiments that typically appear in pro-feminist male spaces. However, MensLib is unique in one regard: an peculiar need to “reclaim” male victimization. Specifically, an attempt to control the narrative about male victims by filtering men’s experiences through a feminist perspective. This is similar to what The Good Men Project tried to do.

This creates an interesting conundrum as feminist theory rejects the notion of male victimization as a legitimate issue in and of itself. Male victims only have value within feminist theory to the extent that they can be seen as an ironic result of men’s power, a sort of karmic backfire. Outside of the perspective, male victims cannot be acknowledged as their existence counters the feminist narrative that violence is a patriarchal tool of oppression reserved for females. This is primarily because most people who abuse males are female, and feminists argue that females lack the power, both physical and institutional, to truly harm males.

So what do you do when males are beaten or raped? Contrary to the feminist narrative, we now have decades of evidence proving men and boys are abused at about the same rate as women and girls, again, predominantly by women and girls. It is no longer possible to deny this without sounding insensitive or dishonest.

Well, if you are MensLib, what you do is acknowledge the abuse occurs and say all the proper things to make it appear that you are concerned for male victims. However, underneath that veneer of compassion lies the truth: you are not really concerned about the male victims at all. This is simply a means subtle indoctrination.

Study finds people choose not to date trans people

Did you know that it is transphobic to choose not to date a transgender person? Indeed it is. According to a recent study, “cisgender” people discriminate against transgender community by refusing to date or have sex with them:

Two Canadian researchers recently asked almost 1000 cisgender folks if they would date a trans person in a new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. This is the first study to ever attempt to quantify the extent of trans discrimination when it comes to romantic and sexual relationships.

958 participants (all but seven cisgender, ranging in age from 18 to 81, with an average age of 26) were asked to indicate which genders they would consider dating. The options included cisgender man, cisgender woman, trans man, trans woman, or genderqueer, and participants could select as many genders as they wanted.

Only 12% of all participants selected “trans woman” and/or “trans man.”

Did anyone need a study to determine that finding? It should be obvious, given the rarity of transgender people, that only a small portion of the population would want to pursue romantic or sexual relationships with them.

What is interesting is that people’s willingness to engage in relationships with transgender people tended to match the non-trans person’s sexual preferences:

Bulletin Board v307

Boys — the silent victims of sex trafficking — The silence nearly killed Tom Jones. As a child, Jones was raped, abused and sold to men for sex. The brutality ended when he was 15. But, like many male victims, Jones didn’t seek help, didn’t tell anyone about the trauma he had suffered. Instead, he buried his pain and shame deep inside, carrying the burden alone and in silence for another 15 years. Silence did not equal acceptance.

Caldey Abbey: first male victim comes forward to describe sexual abuse — A man has come forward to describe how he was groomed and sexually abused as a child by a Benedictine monk on Caldey Island, intensifying calls for an inquiry into what happened at the abbey in south-west Wales. The victim, who has told police of the abuse he was subject to during summer holiday trips to Caldey Island, is the first man to allege he was sexually assaulted by Father Thaddeus Kotik.

South Carolina Church To Pay $300,000 And Apologize In Child Sex Abuse Case — A Baptist church in South Carolina settled a child sexual abuse lawsuit, agreeing to issue an apology, admit liability, and to pay $300,000 to the plaintiff. Bryan Barnes, spokesman for First Baptist Church of Columbia, S.C., said that church leadership issued the apology and explained the terms of the settlement before the congregation on Sunday, according to the Baptist Press.

The Depths of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

I thought I would start 2018 with something positive. I watched a Razorfist video a few days ago about Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

I watched DS9 many years ago. I found the series very entertaining, particularly once it got to the Dominion War. The series is a turn in the Star Trek franchise. Rather than the utopia typically seen in the original series or the Next Generation, DS9 showed how the rest of the galaxy worked. While the Federation may be perfect, they live in a world where everyone else is not, and that has long-term ramifications. The series also chipped away at the utopian Federation concept, showing that they could be as shady as any other culture.

What I enjoy about Razrofist’s video series is his rapid-fire analysis. It is funny and engaging, but more importantly, it makes me want to rewatch the series. Benjamin Sisko is one of my favorite Star Trek characters, and I hold him as equal with Picard as my favorite captain.

When #MeToo Means #WeBlameYou

Several weeks ago I wrote about the #MeToo campaign occurring on Twitter. This started in response to the Harvey Weinstein allegations and quickly spiraled into women sharing stories of sexual harassment and violence. That shifted to blaming all men for the acts of a few bad actors.

Another element to the #MeToo campaign was ignoring, dismissing, and sometimes attacking male victims who used the hashtag. Some of the negativity was direct, however, most of it came via the notion that men as a group needed to apologize to women and change their collective behavior.

This is a recurring theme with any conversation about sexual violence. The topic inevitably ignores male victims and treats all men as complicit in and responsible for the actions of the small number of men. Of course, there are those who do want to talk about male victims and include them. For example, Christine Wekerle, Associate Professor of Pediatrics, McMaster University in Canada wrote an article stating that “we must listen to male sexual abuse victims #too.”

She states in her article:

Why Do People Hate Feminism?

Sargon of Akkad has an excellent video series on the reasons why people take issue with feminism. He presents a thorough explanation of the problems within feminism as an ideology and with its adherents. Some feminists may object to Sargon’s tone, however, he comes across as fair. He does not paint all feminists as the Borg. He acknowledges that different feminists think different things. Yet he also notes that the voices we hear tend to come from the authoritarian, anti-male element of the movement.

This is an ongoing series, so as Sargon uploads videos I will add them to this page.

When #MeToo becomes #NotYou

As is true with most feminist-driven hashtags, it was only a matter of time before the #Metoo hashtag became an attack on men. The hashtag gained prominence after actress Alyssa Milano tweeted using it. The hashtag went viral, although given how political Twitter has become, it is possible that those running Twitter simply boosted the hashtag to the top of the list.

Regardless of that, the hashtag prompted numerous women to write about their experiences of harassment and sexual violence. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. What makes it peculiar is that this comes in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein fall-out. One would think the focus would center on the people Weinstein and other powerful Hollywood moguls abused. Instead, the focus shifted to talking about random instances of butt-grabbing and cat-calling.

As the hashtag became more popular, the feminists moved in and quickly shifted the focus to men. According to those feminists, men need to listen and believe and change their ways because of the “proof” the #MeToo provided of how much sexual violence women face.

Men were told to they needed to challenge their own sexist, abusive behavior, regardless of whether they have ever acted in such a way. They were encouraged to tweet #IDidThat and #HimThough in solidarity to women — and only women — who faced sexual violence.

Men were reminded that “It Was You” and told, after so many articles encouraging men to use solidarity hashtags, that hashtags were not good enough.