Feminist proves MRAs have a point by trying to disprove that point: Part 2

This is a continuation of my previous post about Suzzanah Weiss’s article in which she explains where men’s rights activists go wrong in their arguments by ironically proving their arguments. Here we go:

2. Fathers Are as Important as Mothers

Another common men’s rights issue is child custody and, more generally, men’s ability to play as active a role in the family as women do.

Feminists totally agree with this as well. Everyone should have a choice regarding what role they play in the family, and their a/gender shouldn’t factor into that.

That is an interesting position given that feminists either ignore or oppose efforts to increase father’s roles in their children’s lives. For example, the National Organization for Women opposes shared parenting laws, claiming that they give abusive men access to their victims.

Feminist organizations pushed for government-funded family programs that often exclude fathers as potential beneficiaries. Family courts routinely grant custody to mothers, even in cases in which the fathers are the primary caregivers. Child support laws appear gender neutral, yet they are applied primarily to fathers. Noncustodial fathers often receive limited contact with their children, which is subject to change at the mother’s request. Yet rather than supporting fathers in their attempt to address this bias, feminists claim that the bias is a myth concocted by bitter men and sexist men’s rights activists.

In fact, having more equal households benefits people of all a/genders. In relationships between men and women, for example, women whose male partners are helping out around the house are more able to prioritize their careers.

That has nothing to do with recognizing the roles fathers play in their children’s lives. Rather, it prioritizes women’s desires over fathers’ importance. It also assumes that men do nothing in their homes or that want they do matters less than what women do.

But men’s smaller role in the household is also not evidence that they’re oppressed.

The argument about oppression does not come from men’s role in the household, but how they are treated when it comes to custody issues. Men are held financially responsible, yet treated as physically negligible regardless of the clear importance to their children’s lives. When both parents agree to a particular arrangement, say that the father will work and the mother will stay home with the children, this equal decision is flipped on men during separations or divorces and used against them. Now they can be shut out of their children’s lives, lose a significant among of their pay check, and face mounting legal bills because of the “sacrifices” the woman made to stay at home. Continue reading

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The Red Pill: A Review

After years of waiting, I finally got the chance to watch Cassie Jaye’s documentary The Red Pill. Jaye’s documentary began as her examination of the men’s rights movement, and grew into her journey out of feminism.

The film received a great deal of backlash during its filming, post production, and initial release. All of the negative response, from people contacting Jaye’s financiers to cut her funding to people backing out of interviews to protests against the film, came from feminists. Most notably, they came from feminists who never saw the bulk of the footage or the completed film.

The reaction has been so overblown that it has likely increased people’s desire to see this horribly misogynistic film that gives a platform to rape apologists. Or something to that affect.

Is that Jaye’s film? Is it a love letter to women haters? Is it an attack on feminism? Does it excuse male violence against women? Continue reading

Happy Father’s Day, Mom

Angel Soft released an advertisement celebrating Father’s Day. However, the toilet paper company decided to add a twist. No, it was some lame pun about fathers be messy. Indeed, the ad is not about fathers at all:

I will let a representative of Angel Soft explain the thought process behind this ad: Continue reading

A Difficult Marriage

I came across an article written by a woman raised by lesbian mothers. Heather Barwick argued in her piece that while she supports the gay community, she no longer supports gay marriage. She stated:

Growing up, and even into my 20s, I supported and advocated for gay marriage. It’s only with some time and distance from my childhood that I’m able to reflect on my experiences and recognize the long-term consequences that same-sex parenting had on me. And it’s only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting.Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.

According to Barwick, her mother married her father essentially to fit in. However, Barwick’s mother eventually came out, divorced her father, and found a woman to share her life with. Barwick’s father “wasn’t a great guy” and after her mother “left him he didn’t bother coming around anymore.”

That is a poor reason for failing to support gay marriage. Continue reading

Shocking finding: Working dads want to spend more time with their kids

Originally posted on April 6, 2013

How pathetic that someone even researched something as painfully obvious as this:

“Modern Parenthood: Roles of Moms and Dads Converge as They Balance Work and Family,” is based on a survey of more than 2,500 American adults and an analysis of the American Time Use Survey, which measures the amount of time Americans spend doing various activities.

Almost half the dads surveyed, 46 per cent, reported feeling like they didn’t spend enough time with their kids, compared to 23 per cent of moms who thought the same thing.

In the past, work-life balance was seen as a women’s issue, said Wendy Wang, a research associate with the Pew Research Center in Washington, D.C. But she pointed to the fact that half of working fathers reported finding it very or somewhat difficult to balance work and family.

“Dads are doing more at home, and then they still do a lot at paid work,” she said. “They’re facing the same issues that mom used to face.”

And the study found that half the dads would prefer to stay home, but had to work because they needed the income.

Continue reading

Bulletin Board v210

Caseworker blames starved boy’s family for not warning her about abuse — A caseworker for a Toronto boy who starved to death at the hands of his grandparents says other family members should have warned her the couple had a history of abusive behaviour. Margarita Quintana, a frontline children’s aid worker, is testifying for a third day at the coroner’s inquest into the death of Jeffrey Baldwin.

Domestic violence against men at its highest level in Northern Ireland since police began recording statistics — Domestic violence against men in Northern Ireland has increased by more than 40% in nine years – and that’s just reported incidents. PSNI figures reveal that the figure reached a record of 2,525 male victims in 2012/13, up 259 cases on the year before. Police started recording the statistics nine years ago. They also show that in one year alone (2011/12) the level of reported incidents jumped 25% (from 1,833 to 2,266).

GMP: Fathers are not important — The Good Men Project (GMP) recently ran an article by Suzanne Venker about the importance, indeed irreplaceability of fathers in the lives of children. Venker supported her contentions by pointing to the spectrum of psychological and social maladies which are inarguably much more likely to befall fatherless children than those whose nuclear family remains intact. She also conveyed a deep sense of appreciation for her husband and his importance in her life and the life of their son. The tone of the article was upbeat, affirming and positive about the importance of men and masculinity, particularly in the lives of children. Of course, GMP quickly realized their mistake and took the article down. Continue reading

Bulletin Board v194

Adult Male Victims of Sexual Assault Seek 5 or More Medical Treatments — Stigmas around sexual assault victims often prevent them from seeking much needed treatment to move on with their lives. Though statistics show that women are more likely to be victims of rape or sexual assault, men who become victims themselves may be even less likely to look for help due to stereotypes surrounding masculinity. And for those that do, the services available are still often geared towards the opposite gender.

Barbara Kay: Calling all male bashers — In alarmed response to emerging “men’s rights awareness” groups (MRA) on a number of Canadian campuses, the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS), a union body representing some 500,000 students, seeks to amend its “Sexual Assault and Violence Against Women on Campus” policy. The CFS rejects any need of formal fellowship around specifically male issues, alleging MRA groups’ real purpose is to promote “misogynist, hateful views” and to “justify sexual assault.”

Huffington Post: Stay-at-Home Fathers Don’t Care for Children — If we’re reading an article about heroic working moms “doing it all” both at work and at home, but still losing custody to fathers who apparently do nothing all day long, then it’s a good bet we’re reading the Huffington Post. And sure enough, we are here (Huffington Post, 6/1/13). This time it’s family attorney Lisa Helfend Meyer whose piece utterly misrepresents the known facts about child custody, who gets it and why. Continue reading