Stop the Abuse: Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project

Often times people want to help others but do not know how. This cannot be any truer than when it comes to helping abused men and boys. The resources sometimes are not apparent and are often difficult to find. Sometimes the resources are hidden or even barred by other groups who wish to polarize the issue. The intent here is to provide those who wish to help male victims with the opportunity to do so.

Please remember that you do no have to empty your wallets to help. Even a small donation can go a long way. And for those on the other side of the issue, it would go a long way to demonstrating real concern for all victims if you donated as well.

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Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project

1 in 4 Gay Men Experience Domestic Violence

Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project is a grassroots, non-profit organization founded by a gay male survivor of domestic violence and developed through the strength, contributions and participation of the community.

Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project supports victims and survivors through education, advocacy and direct services.

Please donate and help make a difference.

Feminism and “Homosexual Misogyny”

Sargon of Akkad published a video about feminist claims of misogyny among gay men. This is something I heard when I was a child, and it remains a common complaint from feminists. Their argument is that gay men mock femininity and adopt an exaggerated form of it that women could never perform. They also argue that some gay men adopt the personas of oppressed women like black women, again exploiting the identity in a way that those women would never get to do in society.

I found it a bizarre argument when I was a child, and I continue to find it ridiculous now. While there are scores of gay men who engage in exaggerated femininity, the majority of them are not doing so out of malice. If they find black women to be the pinnacle of whatever identity it is that they wish to achieve, they are hardly co-opting the black female experience anymore than a black woman behaving like JFK is acting white. Continue reading

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14 years in prison for Wollaton paedophile who filmed sex acts with young boys — Child molester Steven Peck has been jailed for 14 years after admitting he groomed young boys for sex. Over a seven-year period, he befriended three youngsters, plying them with gifts and taking them on days out, while abusing them – at venues including Wollaton Park. It was only when one of the victims told his grandmother two years ago that the crimes came to light.

Boys bear the pain alone – Sexual assault of males under-reported — As more agencies turn their searchlight on sexual abuse of the country’s young girls, there is an increasingly loud call for more emphasis to be placed on boys who are victims of sexual abuse. According to Everton Hannam, chairman of the National Parent-Teacher Association in Jamaica, he was very disappointed that there appears to be no overwhelming drive towards identifying and assisting male victims.

Child sex abuse claims shake United Nations — The boys said they approached the French soldiers because they were hungry. Some were so young they didn’t quite understand the acts the soldiers demanded in return. One boy, 8 or 9 years old, said he did it several times to the same soldier, “until one day an older kid saw him and told him what he was doing was bad.” Another boy, 9, said he thought the soldiers had been urinating. Continue reading

The slippery slope of reasoning

I am not a fan of slippery slope arguments. People tend to make them when dealing with sensitive topics. If the other side cannot be convinced by a basic argument, the speaker turns to the slippery slope argument. This play on extremes is meant to show the flaws in the other side’s position. Typically, however, it only shows how invested the speaker is in a given issue.

Yet sometimes there is a validity to the argument. Case in point: Indiana’s new religious freedom law. Governor Mike Pence signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act into law early last week. The move prompted immediate outrage over the impression that the law allows people to discriminate against gay people under the guise of protecting religious rights. If someone belongs to a religion that opposes gay marriage and refuses to serve a gay couple, say by baking a wedding cake, the law protects the religious person from being sued.

That was not, however, how the law was taken. Both sides saw it is as a wholesale allowance of general discrimination. Many on the right would deny that, claiming that businesses could not discriminate against individual gay people. Yet that is not how some supporting the law responded.  Continue reading

A Difficult Marriage

I came across an article written by a woman raised by lesbian mothers. Heather Barwick argued in her piece that while she supports the gay community, she no longer supports gay marriage. She stated:

Growing up, and even into my 20s, I supported and advocated for gay marriage. It’s only with some time and distance from my childhood that I’m able to reflect on my experiences and recognize the long-term consequences that same-sex parenting had on me. And it’s only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting.Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.

According to Barwick, her mother married her father essentially to fit in. However, Barwick’s mother eventually came out, divorced her father, and found a woman to share her life with. Barwick’s father “wasn’t a great guy” and after her mother “left him he didn’t bother coming around anymore.”

That is a poor reason for failing to support gay marriage. Continue reading

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Adolescence: The secret life of boys — I was a cute child, I guess. When I got to school my older cousin took me aside. He said some older boys would come after me—for sex. “That’s how it works,” he said. “It’s dangerous for new boys.” He told me I had to make sure I was never alone. He said, “Don’t go to the toilet alone. Don’t let a senior boy call you out alone.” He told me what places to avoid.

Alabama woman convicted in children sex abuse ring — The conviction Wednesday of an Alabama woman accused of being part of an incestuous sex ring provided graphic evidence about horrendous child molestation, but it didn’t answer a baffling question: What happened to a young victim who is missing and presumed dead? Jurors took two hours to convict Wendy Wood Holland, 35, of sodomy, sexual abuse, sexual torture and child endangerment. She showed no emotion when the verdict was read.

Babysitter Accused Of Raping 10-Year-Old Boy Claims ‘He Forced Himself On Me’ — A babysitter accused of raping a 10-year-old boy is claiming that she was forced into the act. Marybeth Rataic, a 25-year-old Connecticut woman, was said to have had “three or four sexual encounters” with the pre-teen in question, but she shares a different side of the story. According to a report from NBC Connecticut, Rataic claimed that the 10-year-old had a crush on her and “forced himself on her while they were wrestling and tickling each other.” Continue reading

Rape away the gay

The lengths religious fundamentalists will go to “combat” homosexuality never cease to amaze me. I wrote about a case last year in which a pastor received a reduced sentence for raping boys. His reason for his actions was that he “believed that he could rape away the gay by ‘praying while he had sexual contact’ with the boys, all in an effort to keep them ‘sexually pure’ for God” and that “when they would ejaculate, they would be getting rid of the evil thoughts in their mind.”

Others are more creative in their excuses:

A gay Mississippi man says a male teacher at the Baptist school he attended in the 1990s raped him each week for three years as a way to force him to change his sexual orientation.

Jeff White told the Washington Blade during a July 14 interview at a restaurant near his home on the Mississippi Gulf Coast the teacher at Bethel Baptist School in Walls, Miss., who he identified as Steven Barnes, scheduled an “appointment” with him each Wednesday in his classroom or the office where he forced him to have oral and anal sex. […] “He would rape me because I was gay and because it would make me hate men and make me change,” said White.

It gets worse. Continue reading