Unspoken abuse: Mothers who rape their sons

Of all the types of sexual violence that occur, sexual violence committed by women remains the most taboo. Of the women who abuse, mothers remain the most hidden .

It shocks people’s senses to consider that a mother would rape her own child. We perceive mothers as nurturers and inherently good. While most of us are aware that there are bad mothers, people react negatively to any suggestion that a mother would abuse, let alone sexually abuse, her child. This notion of the inherent goodness of mothers and the need to view them positively is so ingrained in some communities that it can be used against them.

That attitude, coupled with people’s tendency to ignore female-perpetrated sexual violence, makes it difficult for victims of mother abuse to come forward. People will  take an incredulous stance and see the victim as impugning their mother’s character rather than sharing their experience. Even when people believe the victim, there is still an attitude of disbelief that anyone would share something so negative about their mother. This is laundry, whether dirty or clean, that should be tucked inside the washer never to be seen.

University of Canberra researcher Lucetta Thomas wants to change. She researched the topic with 23 men who shared their stories of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of their mothers.  In one case, a mother repeatedly abused her son. When the boy became old enough to physically stop his mother from raping him, she brought in an accomplice to hold him down. The man eventually committed suicide.

Thomas decided it was imperative that she complete the research. Continue reading

Stop the Abuse: Just Detention International

Often times people want to help others but do not know how. This cannot be any truer than when it comes to helping abused men and boys. The resources sometimes are not apparent and are often difficult to find. Sometimes the resources are hidden or even barred by other groups who wish to polarize the issue. The intent here is to provide those who wish to help male victims with the opportunity to do so. Every month I will post a new link to an organization that provides services for male victims. As the list grows, I will create a page where all the links can be found.

Please remember that you do no have to empty your wallets to help. Even a small donation can go a long way. And for those on the other side of the issue, it would go a long way to demonstrating real concern for all victims if you donated as well.

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Just Detention International

JDI works to end the sexual abuse of all detainees, in the U.S. and internationally. When the government takes away someone’s freedom, it has a responsibility to protect that person’s safety. All inmates have the right be treated with dignity. No matter what crime someone has committed, sexual violence must never be part of the penalty.

The reason JDI does this work is simple: sexual abuse in detention is a perversion of justice and an affront to our society’s essential values. But sexual abuse in detention is preventable. It is possible to put an end to this type of violence. JDI is the only organization in the U.S., and perhaps in the world, that focuses exclusively on ending rape behind bars.

Please donate and help make a difference.

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Charity highlights male domestic abuse victims — Brian Hitchcock, who runs Coventry-based charity Men’s Aid, says men who suffer violence at the hands of wives and girlfriends have been left out of a new £700,000 programme. The ‘violence perpetrator programme’ which will cover the entire West Midlands, will target husbands and boyfriends who commit domestic violence and abuse.

Chris Johnson: Nebraska must address gender bias — The Nebraska legal system suffers from widespread gender bias against men. While gender bias against fathers in family law cases is well documented, anti-male bias in other areas is less well known. According to the largest-ever review of domestic violence research, women and men abuse their partners at comparable rates.

Group Exhumes Boy’s Casket After Almost 100 Years, Is Shocked When They Open It — When forensic analysts and Pennsylvania state police gathered at the site of a nearly 90-year-old grave to dig out the body of teenager Thomas Curry, the anthropologists believed they would find clues as to why the boy died. Instead, they were left with more questions. The scientists didn’t find the boy’s body, but instead discovered layers of wood. The wood seemed to provide weight as if to hold the body or prevent it from moving. Continue reading

Stop the Abuse: Mankind UK

Often times people want to help others but do not know how. This cannot be any truer than when it comes to helping abused men and boys. The resources sometimes are not apparent and are often difficult to find. Sometimes the resources are hidden or even barred by other groups who wish to polarize the issue. The intent here is to provide those who wish to help male victims with the opportunity to do so. Every month I will post a new link to an organization that provides services for male victims. As the list grows, I will create a page where all the links can be found.

Please remember that you do no have to empty your wallets to help. Even a small donation can go a long way. And for those on the other side of the issue, it would go a long way to demonstrating real concern for all victims if you donated as well.

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Mankind

Since 2000, we have been delivering specialist support services to men (18+) who have experienced childhood sexual abuse and/or adult sexual assault at any time in their lives. Mankind developed from the need for an agency in Sussex that could provide appropriate services to men. Funded by the Big Lottery, we are the only service of its kind in the South East.

Please donate and help make a difference.

Male victims share their stories about female rapists

Crimes make people uncomfortable. They particularly irk people whenever victims describe what happened to them. I think, however, that people sometimes need to be uncomfortable. People need to hear what happens. As much as those stories may ruin a person’s day, I think it is important to understand how experiencing those things can potentially ruin a person’s life.

This is all the more important when it comes to taboo topics like female sex offenders. People avoid the topic for a variety of reasons. In turn, victims of female abusers learn to keep the experiences to themselves. The only people this helps are female sexual predators. It does nothing to help the public understand how these women operate. It certainly does not help the victims who suffer in silence.

A recent article presented the stories of several men abused by women. Continue reading

Stop the Abuse: Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project

Often times people want to help others but do not know how. This cannot be any truer than when it comes to helping abused men and boys. The resources sometimes are not apparent and are often difficult to find. Sometimes the resources are hidden or even barred by other groups who wish to polarize the issue. The intent here is to provide those who wish to help male victims with the opportunity to do so.

Please remember that you do no have to empty your wallets to help. Even a small donation can go a long way. And for those on the other side of the issue, it would go a long way to demonstrating real concern for all victims if you donated as well.

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Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project

1 in 4 Gay Men Experience Domestic Violence

Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project is a grassroots, non-profit organization founded by a gay male survivor of domestic violence and developed through the strength, contributions and participation of the community.

Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project supports victims and survivors through education, advocacy and direct services.

Please donate and help make a difference.

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80.9% of sex convicts in Lagos prisons abused during childhood — At least, 80.9 percent of sex convicts and inmates awaiting trial for sexual and gender based violence in Lagos prisons have been abused during childhood, a recent report has revealed. The report, conducted by the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Response Team, DSVRT, revealed that due to the early abuse, the inmates had been sexually active, leading to sexual offences being committed by them.

Archdiocese of Ottawa paid former altar boy $50,000 after sex abuse allegations — More than a decade before the Archdiocese of Ottawa told Jacques Faucher he could no longer be a priest, it paid tens of thousands of dollars to a former altar boy who had accused the reverend of molesting him. Faucher was convicted in March of historical sex offences against three other children, but newly obtained documents by the Sun show the diocese wrote a $50,000 cheque to a former altar boy when he was an adult in 1998, more than a year after he told the church about the alleged sexual abuse.

Denver man freed after 28 years in prison acquitted of rape — A Denver man who spent more than a quarter of a century in prison for a rape he long denied committing was acquitted of the crime on Monday, leaving a courtroom to applause from supporters and chants of “it’s over.” Clarence Moses-EL, 60, was freed in December, after a judge overturned his 1988 conviction on rape and assault charges and found that he would likely be acquitted if his case went to trial again. Continue reading