Boys are victims, except when girls have it worse

One of the interesting changes in discussing male victimization is the increasingly common feminist advocate for male victims. It is a curious thing to watch as these women suddenly become aware of the sexual violence men and boys experience. This awareness is indeed sudden, because despite the data showing a high rate of male victimization for years, these women, usually feminists, have just stumbled upon it.

What follows is typically an article or blog post detailing how the particular person now realizes how “serious” the situation is for men and boys. Those are not scare-quotes, by the way. As one will see below, usually the person does not actually think the situation is genuinely serious, nor do they have any real compassion or concern for male victims. The men and boys to whom they speak are merely tools to present the person’s narrative, which is either an attack on masculinity or a blatant attempt to control the conversation about male victimization.

Perhaps the most perplexing element is that in order to do this, the person usually recounts a man or boy’s actual experience, one which undermines to the dismissive argument to person with then proceed to make. For example, author Peggy Orenstein decided to interview a number young men for an article on The Cut. The article is part of the “How to Raise a Boy” series, which is bizarre on many levels considering the topic is sexually abuse against boys.

Orenstein interviewed a young man named Dylan who was raped by a woman will he was drunk. Orenstein used that account to go into a broader discussion about her conversations with boys over the years: Continue reading

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Boys — the silent victims of sex trafficking — The silence nearly killed Tom Jones. As a child, Jones was raped, abused and sold to men for sex. The brutality ended when he was 15. But, like many male victims, Jones didn’t seek help, didn’t tell anyone about the trauma he had suffered. Instead, he buried his pain and shame deep inside, carrying the burden alone and in silence for another 15 years. Silence did not equal acceptance.

Caldey Abbey: first male victim comes forward to describe sexual abuse — A man has come forward to describe how he was groomed and sexually abused as a child by a Benedictine monk on Caldey Island, intensifying calls for an inquiry into what happened at the abbey in south-west Wales. The victim, who has told police of the abuse he was subject to during summer holiday trips to Caldey Island, is the first man to allege he was sexually assaulted by Father Thaddeus Kotik.

South Carolina Church To Pay $300,000 And Apologize In Child Sex Abuse Case — A Baptist church in South Carolina settled a child sexual abuse lawsuit, agreeing to issue an apology, admit liability, and to pay $300,000 to the plaintiff. Bryan Barnes, spokesman for First Baptist Church of Columbia, S.C., said that church leadership issued the apology and explained the terms of the settlement before the congregation on Sunday, according to the Baptist Press. Continue reading

#MeToo snags male feminist Aziz Ansari

This was bound to happen. It typically does not take long for feminist-led hate mobs to turn on their own. The MeToo campaign may have began with good intentions, however, mob mentality took hold quickly. Within hours of the #MeToo hashtag trending on Twitters, articles appeared online demanding that men as group apologize for sexual impropriety, the underlying assumption being that all men had done something worthy of apology.

As more women shared their stories of sexual harassment, it became clear that many of the stories were little more than bad dates or the result of miscommunication. Days after the campaign went viral people warned of the potential mob-mentality that could develop. We began to see cases of this in the media, accounts of actors and politicians and other men in various positions of power taking a leave of absence, resigning, or losing their jobs over accusations.

In the majority of these cases, the men were never charged with a crime. Their accusers rarely revealed their identities. The men, however, were named without hesitation, ruining their reputation and careers based on one unknown person’s claims. In some of the cases, such as with comedian Louis C.K., the accusation of “sexual harassment” included admissions by the women that the “abuser” asked for permission to do the act and received said permission, only for the women to later claim — in Louis’s case years later — that they felt “forced.”

Once it reaches that level of silliness, one in which a person consents to an act and yet is still perceived as a victim, it opens the door for the claims against Aziz Ansari. Continue reading

Beware Male Feminists #MeToo

I have written extensively about male feminists and the ironic rejection they face within the feminist movement. While many female feminists say that they want men to support feminism, plenty of other feminists will scourge male feminists for simply being male. Even the thing one would expect a member of a group to do — promote the movement — is often seen as male feminists trying to “hijack” feminism from women.

While I have previously noted that with friends like these male feminists do not need enemies, it is also the case that in many instances female feminists’ fear of male feminists is warranted. Continue reading

When #MeToo Means #WeBlameYou

Several weeks ago I wrote about the #MeToo campaign occurring on Twitter. This started in response to the Harvey Weinstein allegations and quickly spiraled into women sharing stories of sexual harassment and violence. That shifted to blaming all men for the acts of a few bad actors.

Another element to the #MeToo campaign was ignoring, dismissing, and sometimes attacking male victims who used the hashtag. Some of the negativity was direct, however, most of it came via the notion that men as a group needed to apologize to women and change their collective behavior.

This is a recurring theme with any conversation about sexual violence. The topic inevitably ignores male victims and treats all men as complicit in and responsible for the actions of the small number of men. Of course, there are those who do want to talk about male victims and include them. For example, Christine Wekerle, Associate Professor of Pediatrics, McMaster University in Canada wrote an article stating that “we must listen to male sexual abuse victims #too.

She states in her article: Continue reading

Why Do People Hate Feminism?

Sargon of Akkad has an excellent video series on the reasons why people take issue with feminism. He presents a thorough explanation of the problems within feminism as an ideology and with its adherents. Some feminists may object to Sargon’s tone, however, he comes across as fair. He does not paint all feminists as the Borg. He acknowledges that different feminists think different things. Yet he also notes that the voices we hear tend to come from the authoritarian, anti-male element of the movement.

This is an ongoing series, so as Sargon uploads videos I will add them to this page. Continue reading

When #MeToo becomes #NotYou

As is true with most feminist-driven hashtags, it was only a matter of time before the #Metoo hashtag became an attack on men. The hashtag gained prominence after actress Alyssa Milano tweeted using it. The hashtag went viral, although given how political Twitter has become, it is possible that those running Twitter simply boosted the hashtag to the top of the list.

Regardless of that, the hashtag prompted numerous women to write about their experiences of harassment and sexual violence. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. What makes it peculiar is that this comes in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein fall-out. One would think the focus would center on the people Weinstein and other powerful Hollywood moguls abused. Instead, the focus shifted to talking about random instances of butt-grabbing and cat-calling.

As the hashtag became more popular, the feminists moved in and quickly shifted the focus to men. According to those feminists, men need to listen and believe and change their ways because of the “proof” the #MeToo provided of how much sexual violence women face.

Men were told to they needed to challenge their own sexist, abusive behavior, regardless of whether they have ever acted in such a way. They were encouraged to tweet #IDidThat and #HimThough in solidarity to women — and only women — who faced sexual violence.

Men were reminded that “It Was You” and told, after so many articles encouraging men to use solidarity hashtags, that hashtags were not good enough. Continue reading