When #MeToo Means #WeBlameYou

Several weeks ago I wrote about the #MeToo campaign occurring on Twitter. This started in response to the Harvey Weinstein allegations and quickly spiraled into women sharing stories of sexual harassment and violence. That shifted to blaming all men for the acts of a few bad actors.

Another element to the #MeToo campaign was ignoring, dismissing, and sometimes attacking male victims who used the hashtag. Some of the negativity was direct, however, most of it came via the notion that men as a group needed to apologize to women and change their collective behavior.

This is a recurring theme with any conversation about sexual violence. The topic inevitably ignores male victims and treats all men as complicit in and responsible for the actions of the small number of men. Of course, there are those who do want to talk about male victims and include them. For example, Christine Wekerle, Associate Professor of Pediatrics, McMaster University in Canada wrote an article stating that “we must listen to male sexual abuse victims #too.

She states in her article: Continue reading

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Stop The Abuse: 1 in 6

Often times people want to help others but do not know how. This cannot be any truer than when it comes to helping abused men and boys. The resources sometimes are not apparent and are often difficult to find. Sometimes the resources are hidden or even barred by other groups who wish to polarize the issue. The intent here is to provide those who wish to help male victims with the opportunity to do so.

Please remember that you do no have to empty your wallets to help. Even a small donation can go a long way. And for those on the other side of the issue, it would go a long way to demonstrating real concern for all victims if you donated as well.

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1 in 6

Our Mission

The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.

Our mission also includes serving family members, friends, and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

Why 1in6?

Researchers estimate that 1 in 6 men have experienced unwanted or abusive sexual experiences before age 16. This is likely a low estimate, since it doesn’t include noncontact experiences, which can also have lasting negative effects.

If you’ve had such an experience, or think you might have, you are not alone.

If you wonder whether such an experience may be connected to some difficulties or challenges in your life now, you are not alone.

Our Work

We offer outreach, education and services, in person and over the web, to men with histories of unwanted or abusive childhood sexual experiences and anyone who cares about them. We also provide professional trainings.

Please donate and help make a difference.

Study finds boys experience more sexual violence than girls

A recent study on childhood violence found that boys experience more sexual violence than girls. The Council for the Welfare of Children and the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) conducted the study and released the results. The National Baseline Study on Violence Against Children focused on children in the Philippines. It revealed:

[…] that 21.5 percent of the respondents or one in five children experienced any form of sexual violence in any setting, may it be at home, school, workplace, community or during dating.

But of this number, 28.7 percent of the male respondents admitted to have experienced sexual violence, while only 20.1 percent of the female respondents said so.

The researchers did note that the higher prevalence of sexual violence in general could come from their definition of sexual violence. The researchers sexual violence as “taking photos or sex videos of being naked or engaging in sexual activities, unwanted touch, forced attempted sex, and forced consummated sex.” The first two include someone forcing the child to make the pictures or videos as well as the child doing it himself.

While that definition strikes me as broad, it does not alter the findings regarding sexual violence. Those results show that most of the sexual violence children reported involved touching of some sort. Continue reading

A Dose of Stupid v134

It happens every day. In fact, it is pretty hard to avoid it. There are some things that can only be understood with a slap on the forehead. Things so mind-boggling that one wonders how humans managed to evolve thumbs while being this mentally inept.

Case in point:

Should I report sexual harassment if I then slept with the man?

We already know the answer to this question is, but for humor’s sake let us see what this Guardian article actually posits:

The dilemma: Should I report sexual harassment I received even though I later had a sexual relationship with the harasser? Years ago I worked as a volunteer for a political party and while showing me some work on a computer, a senior staff member repeatedly touched my knee. He said sorry, and then did it again, about seven times. He finished by saying: “I’ll need to report myself for sexual harassment now.”

After reading this a few times, the only conclusion I could draw is that this senior staff member flirted with the woman. The woman never states that he attempted to force her to do anything, nor does she give any details about the context of the knee touching (where they were, how the man behaved, her immediate reaction, etc.). Without further context, it would appear that the woman is conflating flirtation with harassment, which she essentially admits: Continue reading

Charlie Sheen accused of raping 13-year-old Corey Haim

There continues to be more fallout over the Kevin Spacey allegations. Now other actors are being accused of sexually assaulting young actors. The latest to face an accusation is actor Charlie Sheen.

In an Enquirer interview, former actor Dominick Brascia stated that Sheen, then 19-years-old, raped Haim while the pair were filming the movie Lucas:

“Haim told me he had sex with Sheen when they filmed ‘Lucas,’” Dominick Brascia, a former actor and a close friend of the “Lost Boys” legend, exclusively told The ENQUIRER. “He told me they smoked pot and had sex. He said they had anal sex. Haim said after it happened Sheen became very cold and rejected him. When Corey wanted to fool around again, Charlie was not interested.”

But Brascia said Haim claimed he hooked up with the “Wall Street” star another time — when he was in his mid-to-late 20s. “Haim told me he had sex with Sheen again,” Brascia told The ENQUIRER. “He claimed he didn’t like it and was finally over Sheen. He said Charlie was a loser.”

The Enquirer claims that dozens of other people they contacted verified the accusation. The claim is similar to one made by Cory Feldman, Haim’s close friend, in his memoir: Continue reading

Kevin Spacey allegations bring out strange defenders

As more allegations against Kevin Spacey mount, it was only a matter of time before someone decided to defend him.

In my prior post about the Anthony Rapp’s allegation, I noted that we would need to see what would happen to Spacey given how forgiving Hollywood can be. Within 24 hours of that post, several young men came forward accusing Spacey of attempting or succeeding in sexually assaulting them. Their ages vary, however, based on what I read, all the young men were either teenagers, in their early twenties, or appeared younger than their age.

This demonstrates a consistent pattern, i.e. Spacey allegedly preferring younger males who either are or can pass as teen boys.

The word to describe a person with such as sexual interest is typically pederast. However, the average person uses pedophile. While this is technically incorrect, as it implies an interest in boys who have not reached puberty, the distinction ultimately does not matter. The key point is that Spacey appears, based on the allegations, to target underage boys, many of whom cannot legally consent to sex in their respective states.

Given the severity of the accusations against Spacey — enough to make Netflix end his popular show House of Cards — one would think the focus would be on Spacey’s victims.

Instead, the left-leaning media fell in part for Spacey’s deflection. Continue reading

Kevin Spacey Comes Out To Brush Aside Molestation Accusation

Actor Anthony Rapp accused Kevin Spacey of making sexual advances on him when Rapp was 14-years-old. He detailed the incident in an interview with Buzzfeed.

Spacey invited Rapp to a nightclub. Somehow 14-year-old Rapp and his 17-year-old friend were able to get in with Spacey without showing any identification. Following that event, Rapp joined Spacey at his home for a party a few days later. When Rapp arrived, he found that he was the only child there, which he stated was usual given the types of acting jobs he took. He also did not know anyone there.

According to Rapp, he eventually went into Spacey’s bedroom and watched TV: Continue reading