Being a Boy: Lesson Learned

Originally published on March 12, 2014

I spotted this story on the r/MensRights subreddit. The author recounts how his feminist mother taught him not be a rapist and the harm it did to him:

My mother was basically what you’d call a “radical” feminist. She thought everything was an indicator of child molestation by that person’s father, that any man is probably a child molester, any physical contact between a man and a child is sexual, etc.

She had coached me into thinking my father had molested me as well to try to get him arrested, but that is a separate issue that I’d love to share in another thread.

What really, really fucked with me deeply, was when she convinced me my father had molested me, that his father had molested him, and that if I didn’t tell people what my father had done, I would become a rapist.

That is not the first time I have heard a story like that. Continue reading

Bulletin Board v253

Big increase in male sexual abuse victims contacting Warwickshire charity — A charity working with male victims of sexual assault from Coventry and Warwickshire say they have been ‘‘inundated” with new clients following a series of high profile abuse scandals. Staff at RoSA (Rape or Sexual Abuse Support Services) have provided counselling support for nearly 200 men in the last financial year – many of whom were subjected to abuse when they were younger.

Boy cross-examined by ‘sex abuser’ dad in molestation case — A Brooklyn dad accused of molesting his son acted as his own lawyer in court Wednesday — forcing the now-14-year-old to be cross-examined by him. As if taking the stand and recounting the details of his alleged abuse weren’t painful enough, the courageous youngster had to suffer the indignity of answering outrageous questions from the man he says sexually molested and beat him starting at age 8.

Chicago-Area Imam Charged With Sex Abuse at Islamic School — The longtime head of a suburban Chicago Islamic school has been charged with sexually assaulting a woman who worked there, and a civil suit filed Tuesday accuses him of abusing that employee and three teenage students. The legal actions shed light on an issue that even many Muslims say is too often pushed into the shadows within their communities. Continue reading

Caught on camera

“If the video depicts certain things happening…that doesn’t mean that my client’s not innocent. […] for example, she could be the victim.”

That was attorney Timothy Smith’s argument in defense of his client who is charged with 40 counts of sexual assault against minors.

Prosecutors accuse Nicole Dufault of assaulting five male students, all of them 15 years of age, multiple times between 2013 and 2014. The acts range from sexual conversations to oral sex. Most damning is the video of Dufault performing oral sex on one of the alleged victims, which prompted her attorney’s above comment. He also stated:

“People are victimized by juveniles all the time,” Smith said.

Yes, some people are victimized by minors. However, it is unlikely that a 35-year-old woman would be repeatedly victimized by five different high school boys in her classes over a year. It is also unlikely that the five boys would engage in the same behavior to the extent that investigators would accuse the woman of grooming the boys. It also does not explain this: Continue reading

Feminist: Male rape victims have more privileges than women

Originally posted on November 28, 2014

I take a simple position on discussions about sexual violence: leave out the politics. Politics make an already complex issue more complicated. They lead to bias, bigotry, and favoring the protection of political stances over addressing the problem. This is particularly true when feminists are involved in the discussion.

It appears many feminists are incapable of discussing sexual violence without resorting to “who has it worse” arguments. Advocates for male victims and men’s rights activists frequently challenge feminists on those arguments. Feminists usually respond by dismissing the challenges as “misogyny” or an attempt to silence women.

Yet there is good reason for people to persist in those challenges, and that is because when such arguments are left unquestioned, they lead to rather ugly statements. For example, Kaelyn Polick-Kirkpatrick wrote in The State Press:

[…] men’s rights activists and skeptics alike raise questions about feminism’s tactics. For instance, why not include everyone in conversations about rape given it’s such a prodigious problem? Well, conversations that include men do need to happen — everyone has a role to play in mitigating rape culture; but these conversations do not necessarily need to happen within the feminist community.

Feminism provides a safe-space for women to cope with and fight back against the oppressive society in which they live. It exists because oppressed people often need support from others who can empathize with their struggles — men have privileges that prevent them from being able to empathize with the struggles of women, even when they are survivors of sexual crimes. For instance, it is unlikely that a man will be asked what he was wearing during an assault, and it is unlikely that a man will be told that he deserved it due to his promiscuous behavior.

Continue reading

Few male military sexual assault victims come forward

Posted on December 10, 2014

Male victims of sexual violence remain a largely hidden in society. While the media gives more attention to the issue of male victimization than before, many men and boys continue to remain silent. This is particularly true of men in the military.

Despite representing the majority of rape victims, assaulted men are significantly less likely to seek help or report their assaults:

According to an anonymous survey released last week by the Pentagon, nearly 1 percent of males in the U.S. military said they had experienced unwanted sexual contact, compared to 4.3 percent of women. That equates to about 10,500 men and 8,500 women. Yet only 14 percent of assaults reported last year involved male victims.

Afraid to be seen as victims or as weak or gay, men in the hyper-masculine military culture often don’t feel comfortable reaching out for help or reporting sexual assaults. Over the past year, though, the services have increased efforts to reach out to male victims, urging them to come forward so they can receive treatment and so officials can go after perpetrators.

Continue reading

This Is What It Looks Like v9

The Honey Badgers released a video interview with Tarol Hunt, the creator of the webcomic Goblins.

Hunt recounts his experiences with feminists on Tumblr responding to his webcomic. I think it is important for people to share their stories because it is often difficult for people to believe feminists behave so terribly. As Hunt states, many people initially think of feminists as the “good guys.” Yet feminists quite often prove themselves to be otherwise.

I found Hunt’s experiences particularly infuriating because feminists not only went after him, but the also attacked his wife and his mother. The situation with his mother was the worst as feminists set about claiming that Hunt lied about his mother’s brutal assault at the hands of four men. Continue reading

Parents kidnap kid to teach him to fear strangers

Many parents worry about their children talking to strangers. Parents fear that someone may take advantage of the child, hurt them, or kill them. So it is understandable that if a parent has a child prone to speaking to random people that parent would try to curb the behavior. This, however, is not the way to do that:

Lincoln County sheriff’s deputies say the child was lured into a pickup truck by Nathan Firoved while walking home from school Monday. Once the child was in the truck, Firoved told him he would never “see his mommy again,” and he would be “nailed to the wall of a shed.” When the child started to cry, Firoved showed him a gun and threatened to hurt him if he did not stop crying.

Firoved bound the boy’s hands and feet, covered his face and drove him around for a while.

While the boy was blindfolded, he was unknowingly taken to his home, where his aunt removed his pants and told him he could be sold into sex slavery.

Deputies say the boy was left in the basement for some time before he was unbound and family members lectured him about stranger danger.

They did this to this boy simply because he was “too nice,” and obviously the best way to cure his friendliness is by making him afraid of everyone. Continue reading