A Difficult Marriage

I came across an article written by a woman raised by lesbian mothers. Heather Barwick argued in her piece that while she supports the gay community, she no longer supports gay marriage. She stated:

Growing up, and even into my 20s, I supported and advocated for gay marriage. It’s only with some time and distance from my childhood that I’m able to reflect on my experiences and recognize the long-term consequences that same-sex parenting had on me. And it’s only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting.Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.

According to Barwick, her mother married her father essentially to fit in. However, Barwick’s mother eventually came out, divorced her father, and found a woman to share her life with. Barwick’s father “wasn’t a great guy” and after her mother “left him he didn’t bother coming around anymore.”

That is a poor reason for failing to support gay marriage. Continue reading

What about the boy?

Time magazine made news this week with their controversial cover. The cover features Jamie Lynn Grumet breastfeeding her 3-year-old son. The photo concerned the Time’s article about “attachment parenting,” a theory of parenting that “focuses on the nurturing connection that parents can develop with their children. That nurturing connection is viewed as the ideal way to raise secure, independent, and empathetic children. Proponents of this parenting philosophy include the well-known pediatrician William Sears, MD. They make the case that a secure, trusting attachment to parents during childhood form the basis for secure relationships and independence as adults.”

This is all well and good for the first few months of a child’s life. Yet many of those who practice “attachment parenting” refuse to stop it. Instead, they make excuses like this:

“In some ways, the photo was sensational because the child breast-feeding was so much older than the cultural norm,” said [Miranda] Hallquist, a La Leche League of Pittsburgh East leader. “In a way, I think it was good to get it into the cultural debate but people could miss the point if they wonder whether they should or should not see it or are confused by ‘Are You Mom Enough?’ “

This is not healthy cultural debate. This is issue with parents not respecting children’s boundaries.  Continue reading