You’re not helping v.12

When faced with this comment:

Thank you. Thank you so much. I am genderqueer and was raped 4 years ago. And I have never had my experience validated before in anything I have heard. I have been mis-gendered, mis-believed, and mis-treated in every step of my healing process by law enforcement, therapists, other feminists and my own friends.

what is the right response?

That is difficult to say. The politically correct nuance of a concept like “genderqueer” needs too much explanation. Yet certainly one can say that the best response is not this:

Rape is absolutely a gendered crime. This is true of how it plays out in the real world, and of our concept of rape – both the act and idea of rape are used to perpetuate a patriarchal gender hierarchy. Violence in general is function and gendered, as Eesha Pandit made clear in her powerful theory of violence. We know sexual violence is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men against women.

The “rape is a gendered crime” is a very common feminist refrain, and it is also a very untrue refrain. Continue reading