There are many men and boys who experience abuse in their lives. They often do not have a place to talk about those experiences. This post is a space for that.
Any man or boy who wants to share his experiences of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, bullying, and harassment may do so here. You may submit your story as a comment. You can use your own name, a pseudonym, or remain anonymous.
You may share whatever you feel comfortable with, be it your whole story or just a moment.
The purpose of this post is show people what men and boys go through. It is to shed light on the truth of those experiences and shatter the stereotypes of about them.
I will moderate all comments and remove any that are not from men or not on topic. This just to make sure the comments are only from men and only about their stories.
(A note to those posting: if you use profanity, the comment will automatically go into moderation. This applies to all comments on this blog, so it is nothing personal. Once I see the comment, I will approve it.)
Men, it seems, do need a movement. Just not the one they have.
Visit the online homes of men’s rights adherents, and you’ll quickly get the impression that the biggest problems facing dudes these days are fat women, sluts, women who claim to have been raped, and, obvs, feminism.
She goes on to state:
Oh, sure, men’s rights advocates are concerned about the climate in divorce courts, where custody and financial decisions are perceived to favor women. But their approach is conspiratorial—the laws, they say, are rigged and controlled by radical feminists—not an acknowledgement that courts haven’t changed as rapidly as society.
These are reactive, not proactive, stances, and they do little to offer substantive solutions.
These are also stances that bear a striking resemblance to the feminist stance on social issues. It is remarkable how easily feminists like Kaffer will accept the argument that rape laws are rigged against women and controlled by “The Patriarchy” with no acknowledgement that many aspects of the legal system have not changed as rapidly as the rest of society, yet reject any similar assertion when made by men.
“There is not one bed for men suffering from domestic violence,” said Niamh Farrell of AMEN, the only domestic violence resource in Ireland for men.
“If there is no bed for men there is no bed for the children [with the men],” she said, explaining that fathers or guardians may not want to leave their children in the domestic situation.
“You can encourage them to look for help but in terms of housing, we can’t do anything to help them with that because there is no refuge.”
This is ridiculous. Abused men face the same problems as abused women. They need to find a safe place for themselves and sometimes their children. If no one provides them with safe housing, many abused men end up in homeless shelters and on the streets. This proves risky because some shelters will not accept men with children, and obviously living on the streets with a child is a poor option. That leaves two options: remain in the abusive situation or leave the situation yourself, but leave the children with the abuser. Continue reading →
Adolescence: The secret life of boys — I was a cute child, I guess. When I got to school my older cousin took me aside. He said some older boys would come after me—for sex. “That’s how it works,” he said. “It’s dangerous for new boys.” He told me I had to make sure I was never alone. He said, “Don’t go to the toilet alone. Don’t let a senior boy call you out alone.” He told me what places to avoid.
Alabama woman convicted in children sex abuse ring — The conviction Wednesday of an Alabama woman accused of being part of an incestuous sex ring provided graphic evidence about horrendous child molestation, but it didn’t answer a baffling question: What happened to a young victim who is missing and presumed dead? Jurors took two hours to convict Wendy Wood Holland, 35, of sodomy, sexual abuse, sexual torture and child endangerment. She showed no emotion when the verdict was read.
Babysitter Accused Of Raping 10-Year-Old Boy Claims ‘He Forced Himself On Me’ — A babysitter accused of raping a 10-year-old boy is claiming that she was forced into the act. Marybeth Rataic, a 25-year-old Connecticut woman, was said to have had “three or four sexual encounters” with the pre-teen in question, but she shares a different side of the story. According to a report from NBC Connecticut, Rataic claimed that the 10-year-old had a crush on her and “forced himself on her while they were wrestling and tickling each other.” Continue reading →
Of all the things revealed in the recent report of the CIA’s torture practices, I hardly expected to find this:
According to the committee report “at least five CIA detainees were subjected to “rectal rehydration” or rectal feeding without documented medical necessity”. The report identifies a chief of Interrogations referring to medically unnecessary rectal feeding and hydration as illustrative of the interrogator’s “total control over the detainee”.
Alongside the psychological effects of this torture, physical injuries were sustained by at least one detainee as a result of rectal feeding. The detainee was “diagnosed with chronic hemorrhoids, an anal fissure, and symptomatic rectal prolapse”.
I am sure the first two symptoms are self-explanatory, however, the latter may require explanation. Rectal prolapse occurs when the rectum walls protrude from the anus.
Even if the detainee refused food, this sort of procedure is clearly a violation of the Geneva Convention and obviously torture. It is also unquestionably rape. Continue reading →
The United Kingdom has a sordid history of failing to acknowledge and address sexual violence against men and boys. Many cases of sexual violence against males are not prosecuted under the rape statutes, including offenses against boys. Women cannot face rape charges under UK law. The National Rape Crisis Network excludes organizations at assist male victims. All those things works against efforts to help abused men and boys.
I began writing about the growing rate of rape of boys in Afghanistan years ago. Every year I write another post about it because every year another article, interview, or report comes out stating the problem is getting worse and yet no one does anything about it. Of all the reports and articles I read, none focused on the United States’ response to the issue.
To my knowledge, the U.S. government has little concern for boys beyond counting them as enemy combatants or making sure they do not become radicalized. However, it appears the State Department had been conducting research on the matter:
The State Department in its 2013 human rights report on Afghanistan said the sexual abuse of boys, or bacha baazi, is on the rise in the region, with the practice becoming common in Kabul.
“The practice of ‘bacha baazi’ (dancing boys) – which involved powerful or wealthy local figures and businessmen sexually abusing young boys who were trained to dance in female clothes – was on the rise,” the State Department said in its human rights report.
According to the State Department, neither child pornography or the sexual exploitation of children is against Afghan law. One would think, given how keen the United States was to change Afghan law to protect women, that someone would have introduced the idea of making child porn and child rape illegal.
In my first post about the University of Virgina rape case I stated, “All the problems here lie with Rolling Stone and its poor handling of this story. We do not know that Jackie lied about the gang rape. As I noted, perhaps it did happen. Perhaps it happened at another location. Perhaps it involved other people. It is also possible this is a lie. The entire story could be a lie. She could have conned everyone, including her friends and the activists.
We do not know, and given what happened to Rolling Stone when they jumped to conclusions, I suggest everyone else exercise restraint in calling Jackie a false accuser. Wait until more information becomes available.”
Thanks to the Washington Post’s investigation of Jackie’s claims, more information has become available, and it is not good for Jackie. Continue reading →