Stop the Abuse: Living Well

Often times people want to help others but do not know how. This cannot be any truer than when it comes to helping abused men and boys. The resources sometimes are not apparent and are often difficult to find. Sometimes the resources are hidden or even barred by other groups who wish to polarize the issue. The intent here is to provide those who wish to help male victims with the opportunity to do so. Every month I will post a new link to an organization that provides services for male victims. As the list grows, I will create a page where all the links can be found.

Please remember that you do no have to empty your wallets to help. Even a small donation can go a long way. And for those on the other side of the issue, it would go a long way to demonstrating real concern for all victims if you donated as well.

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Living Well

LivingWell is a Queensland resource which offers a range of services specifically designed to assist men who have experienced childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault, their partners, friends and family and service providers. If you or someone you know has experienced sexual abuse as a child, or adult, please know that you are not alone. Support and assistance is available. LivingWell currently provides the following services.

Please donate and help make a difference.

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Acclaimed teacher Anne Lakey jailed for eight years for underage sex — A former high-flying headteacher has been jailed for eight years for having sex with two underage boys in the 1980s. Anne Lakey, 55, from Stanley, County Durham, had won national acclaim for improving schools, but her successful career hid a sordid past. She took the virginity of two boys aged 13-14 and another aged 15 when she was in her late 20s and working as a history and RE teacher in Sunderland. Police believe there could be more victims of Lakey.

Accused youth worker from Poole repeatedly denies abusing school boys — A POOLE teaching support worker has refuted allegations he abused two boys while employed at different schools. Repeatedly, in answer to defence barrister Michael Hall, Graham Gilmour replied “absolutely not” if there was any truth to the allegations. The case against the 43-year-old rests on the testimony of two boys who claimed they were victims of historic sexual abuse while attending Greggs School in Southampton and Chandlers Ford-based Lakeside School, a special education unit catering for children with behavioural problems.

Cabin Hill Prep: ‘Ongoing investigation’ into allegations of rape and sex assault between boys at school, judge hears — Sex abuse police are conducting an “ongoing investigation” into allegations of rape and sex assault between boys at top school Cabin Hill Prep, a judge heard today. The revelation came at Downpatrick Crown Court as defence QC Kieran Mallon pleaded with Judge Brian Sherard to treat the case against a 28-year-old internet pervert as unique and “exceptional.” Continue reading

Taliban allegedly gang-raped suicide bomber

Originally posted on April 30, 2015

The National Post reported on a disturbing case of gang-rape. Ishmael Daro wrote that Taliban forces allegedly gang-raped a 16-year-old boy before sending him out on a suicide mission:

A 16-year-old boy in Afghanistan was repeatedly raped by Taliban fighters before being forced to undertake a suicide bombing mission, the country’s National Directorate of Security says.

The teenager, identified only as Bilal, was intercepted before he could carry out an attack on police headquarters in the Bagrami District of Kabul.

The NDS, the country’s domestic intelligence agency, released a video Sunday in which the would-be bomber told his story of repeated rapes by Taliban commanders. The alleged assaults happened in Nangarhar province, near the border with Pakistan.

In his video confession, Bilal said he was only sent on his suicide bombing mission after local residents found out about the sexual abuse. The night before the planned suicide attack, Bilal says a commander named Abozar taped his mouth shut and raped him, although he says he was abused by at least three other fighters before then.

Continue reading

Bulletin Board v 264

Archdiocese criminally charged with ‘failing to protect’ sex abuse victims — The Ramsey County attorney’s office filed criminal charges Friday against the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis for “failing to protect children” from an abusive priest. The charges stem from the archdiocese’s oversight of former priest Curtis Wehmeyer, who is now serving a prison term for abusing two boys while he was pastor of Blessed Sacrament Church in St. Paul. “

Bullied Boy With Cancer Severely Beaten, Left Unconscious, Gets Suspended By School — Julia Morales is absolutely fed up with the formidable treatment her son has suffered at the hands of several vicious bullies at Henry P. Becton Regional High School in East Rutherford, NJ. According to My-9 NJ, Morales’ cancer-stricken, 16-year-old son has allegedly been mistreated for quite some time. The relentless torment and taunting initially began with verbal abuse.

Child abuse accused ex-pilot Bartle Frere ‘liked to help boys’ — A former British Airways pilot on trial for child sex offences has told a court he liked to help boys purely to encourage them and see them develop. Bartle Frere, 51, from Shipton Gorge, Dorset, said he carried out unpaid photography work at several private schools in England. Police searched his home in November 2013 and seized DVDs, boy’s underwear and Viagra, the jury heard. He denies a string of sexual offences dating back to 2001. Continue reading

Former student sues Amherst College over expulsion

A former Amherst College student filed a suit against the school. The lawsuit claims that Amherst expelled the student, named “John Doe” in the suit, in an effort to appear tough on sexual assault. A female student accused Doe of assaulting her in 2012. According to the lawsuit:

“In the just six weeks from the date the complaint was filed against him, the plaintiff found himself held guilty of assault, expelled from the college, ejected from the campus and branded a sex offender, with his entire future in ruins,” the suit states, in part. “The actions taken by the defendants resulted from a deeply flawed investigatory and disciplinary process during which the plaintiff was denied the most rudimentary elements of fairness promised to him by Amherst in its Student Handbook.”

This is typical of many college sexual assault proceedings. The accused have little to no recourse. They are not allowed representation, not allowed to confront the accuser, not allowed to present counter evidence, and not allowed much of any defense. It is purely up to the judging panel whether the student will face any consequence.

Yet it is curious how anyone could expel the Doe considering the facts. For instance, the woman accusing Doe filed the complaint 21 months after the alleged incident occurred. She gave varying accounts of what happened, initially claiming that the oral sex was non-consensual, then claiming that it began as consensual but became non-consensual later. She claimed she never wrote down any details about the event, including text messages, yet said text messages surfaced. They contradict the woman’s claims about the timing of the alleged assault and the nature of the interaction between her and Doe.

That evidence alone makes this woman’s claims at least questionable. What makes this case different is one other pesky problem: John Doe was blacked out when his accuser performed oral sex on him.

In other words, the accuser is the actual rapist. Continue reading

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14 years in prison for Wollaton paedophile who filmed sex acts with young boys — Child molester Steven Peck has been jailed for 14 years after admitting he groomed young boys for sex. Over a seven-year period, he befriended three youngsters, plying them with gifts and taking them on days out, while abusing them – at venues including Wollaton Park. It was only when one of the victims told his grandmother two years ago that the crimes came to light.

Boys bear the pain alone – Sexual assault of males under-reported — As more agencies turn their searchlight on sexual abuse of the country’s young girls, there is an increasingly loud call for more emphasis to be placed on boys who are victims of sexual abuse. According to Everton Hannam, chairman of the National Parent-Teacher Association in Jamaica, he was very disappointed that there appears to be no overwhelming drive towards identifying and assisting male victims.

Child sex abuse claims shake United Nations — The boys said they approached the French soldiers because they were hungry. Some were so young they didn’t quite understand the acts the soldiers demanded in return. One boy, 8 or 9 years old, said he did it several times to the same soldier, “until one day an older kid saw him and told him what he was doing was bad.” Another boy, 9, said he thought the soldiers had been urinating. Continue reading

Judges reduce sentence because victim showed “homosexual tendencies”

I cannot recall the last time something related to sexual violence trials surprised me. I see and hear a myriad of excuses, justifications, and reasons for letting offenders off all the time. This recent one, however, did shock me.

A pair of Argentinian judges reduced a convicted child rapist’s sentence because they assumed the 6-year-old victim was gay:

The ruling, which was sealed when it came down last year but was leaked to the press, has caused an uproar in Argentina. It has also revealed a pair of judges with a long record of reducing sentences for sexual and gender-based crimes, including justifying a pastor’s rape of two teenage girls because they belonged to a lower economic class.

The court papers show that judges Horacio Piombo and Benjamin Ramon Sal Llargues reduced the sentence of Mario Tolosa, a soccer club coach, who was charged in 2010 with raping the unnamed boy. The pair decided to lower Tolosa’s jail time from six years to 38 months, saying that because the boy’s father may have already raped him, he was used to such abuse and had showed homosexual traits.

In radio and television interviews defending his decision this week, Piombo said the boy had “signs of a transvestite conduct, of conduct we had to take into account,” and argued that he had already had “the initiation by his father into the worst of worlds, leading him to depravation.”

Let us say this is true. Let us say that the boy was raped by his father and showed signs of “transvestite conduct. ” Let us say the boy is indeed depraved.

What does that have to do with the man who raped him? Continue reading